The Alternative
by shoutycapitals
Summary: Bella is unfulfilled by her previous relationships. She has a certain fantasy that she had not accepted...until now. What will happen when she falls in love with the owner of the most renowned BDSM club on the west coast?      Canon Pairings. Enjoy :
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They belong to the Twilight series and/or Stephanie Meyer. I just like to play around with them a little :)_

_I have no personal experiences with the BDSM lifestyle, and apologize if I have gotten anything wrong. I try to do at least SOME research while i write. This is just something that's popped into my head on more than one occasion. _

_Summary: Bella is unfulfilled by her previous relationships. She has a certain fantasy that she had not accepted...until now. What will happen when she falls in love with the owner of the most renowned BDSM club on the west coast?_

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><p>BPOV<p>

"Here you go, Ms. Swan" Heidi, the receptionist said with a professional smile. I took the clipboard of papers from her "Just go ahead and fill these out. Anything you don't understand, put a question mark next to. The rest is self-explanatory. If you could just give me a copy of your drivers license for a second. We need a copy on file" I pulled out my license and handed it over "You can take room number 3 to fill out your paperwork in private" she smiled "Come get this when you're finished"

Jeez. I smiled politely, trying to mask the nerves inside me. I walked over to my designated room and opened the door, finding a mahogany desk in the small room. Clicking the door shut, I sat down and began looking through the paperwork. They were thorough. That's for sure. Background checks, full medical history, a non-disclosure agreement and a 4 page checklist.

What the hell was I doing? I groaned inwardly and reminded myself that I wanted this.

No.

_Needed_ this.

This was safe. I would be safe. I had done my fair share of research. I'm not stupid enough to walk into something with my eyes closed. But being here...actually doing it. Pursuing it. Was intense.

I took a deep breath and turned my attention back to the checklist on the desk.

_Asphyxiation?_

Hard limit. Definitely. I quickly checked the appropriate box as if it had a time limit attached to it.

_Water Bondage_?

Hmm...I checked the 'soft limit' box because the idea intrigued me. But I didn't know enough about it to feel comfortable.

I went through the rest of the checklist,

_Extreme pain_ - Hard limit

_Permanent marking_ - hard limit. definitely.

_Fecal/bodily fluid play_ - Hard limit. Gross.

_Fisting - _ Hard limit

_Whipping - _Whipping? With what? I put a question mark next to that one

* * *

><p>After I was finished, I filled out my personal information and walked out into the main lobby again.<p>

The club was not at all how I imagined. Despite being Seattle's most renowned BDSM center, I never expected such a welcoming atmosphere. The entire building was lavish and beautiful. Inside hung floor to ceiling chandeliers accompanied by victorian couches. The rooms warm glow relaxed my eyes and put my mind at ease.

I handed the clipboard back to Heidi and she smiled "Thank you Ms. Swan" she said "We'll have a coordinator speak with you shortly, feel free to take a seat."

"Thank you Heidi" I said with a sincere smile. She was so polite. It was hard not to be nice to her.

"Of cou- Edward" she suddenly said, mid word into her earpiece "Thanks for calling back, Listen-"

I didn't hear the rest, I sat down, letting myself sink into one of the plush victorian couches.

* * *

><p>EPOV<p>

"Heidi, you called?" I asked

"Edward, thanks for calling back. Listen, I need a huge favor. Zafrina is out. Irina _and_ Tanya are on vacation" She sighed. I could hear the stress in her voice

"Calm down Heidi" I rolled my eyes. This girl was always stressed. She was going to give herself a stroke. "you need me to approve someone?"

"Please?" she asked "I wouldn't ask if we weren't so busy"

"I'm happy to help. Besides, I should make an appearance every now and then" i laughed softly

"Yes it might be the only way to get you out of that cave" she teased

"Neither Peter or Charlotte are free" i asked, pulling up an email on the screen. I groaned seeing I had lost a good amount to the declining stock. Fuck.

"No" She said, pausing before giving me an explanation that I didn't ask for "They're...busy with paperwork!"

"Uh-huh" I hummed. She was up to something. That was a sorry excuse for a lie. Not to mention a horrible delivery. "Alright. I'll be down in about 10. Fax up the file, just the checklist and personal info please"

"Miss Swan!" Heidi called loudly, breaking me from my trance. Fuck. How long had I been sitting here?

I stood up immediately and walked over to her desk "Go ahead and wait in Room 3 again. Mr. Cullen will be here to see you shortly. Would you like anything to drink while waiting?"

"A water would be great" I said, hoping it would help calm my nerves

She handed me a chilled water bottle "Room 3." she repeated with a smile

Once again, I found myself in Room number 3. Sitting in front of a large mahogany desk with an imac and office chair on the other side. I took a sip of water and looked around the warm green room.

I was new to this world. And it has surprised me at every turn. No one knew. What would they say? How would I tell them? Why would I tell them...

I was so infatuated by my thoughts, I almost jumped a foot in the air when the door was softly swung open.

The most beautiful man I had ever seen walked into the room, shutting it behind him before turning to me.

"Miss Swan" he smiled, his green eyes sparkling at me as he held out his hand

I stood up quickly, trying to compost myself. He had the most perfectly tousled bronze hair, emerald green eyes, angular features...the longest lashes...

"Hello" I said quietly, realizing I had been staring when he smiled in amusement. I shook his hand

"My name is Edward. Please, sit back down" he said while walking around the desk. I tried not to stare at his perfect body, watching as his broad shoulders and chiseled chest moved under the button up he was wearing.

"So tell me a little bit about yourself" he's aid with a kind smile, while setting what I assumed to be my file on the desk and leaning back. Fuck...he was hot. Wait, what did he say again?

"Miss Swan?" He asked again "Please don't be nervous. I assure you, I don't have an agenda" he said sincerely

"Sorry, I've just- this is all very new to me." I said, taking a deep breath. "I'm a little...lost"

He nodded and smiled "of course. That's understandable" he opened up my file, revealing the paperwork I had just filled out.

I felt my cheeks turn a deep shade of red when he pulled out my checklist "Miss Swan-"

"Bella" i piped in. I hated that name "You can call me Bella."

"Alright, Bella" he corrected "Where did you grow up?" he asked, never taking his eyes off the paper

I wasn't expecting that. He continued to read over my checklist as I answered "Forks. Washington." i answered "Small town."

He chuckled softly "yes. very small. My father is quite fond of it"

"You know it?" I asked surprised

"Lived there for about 3 years" he said, flipping to the next page

"What's your occupation, Bella?"

"I'm a literary critic." i said "I dabble in a bit of writing myself"

"Well i would love to read something one day" he said, his eyes meeting mine briefly before going back

"My name is Edward Cullen, I'm a physician at Seattle Prespytarian, and I'm the owner of this institution"

Holy shit. The owner...

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Cullen" I smiled

"Now, onto business," eyeing the papers again "Have you ever had any previous experiences of this lifestyle?"

"No" I said

"No other Doms, nothing? Not even a scene?" he asked professionally

"No" my voice was hesitant now. Why did he sound so shocked? Or was I imagining things?

He looked up at her and offered a reassuring smile "Don't be nervous Bella" he said softly "I just want to get a sense for you. So we can decide what's best"

"Sorry it's just a little unnerving" I breathed out "I'm okay"

"I know. but trust me, I've heard it all." he laughed "So no other experiences. How did you become interested?"

"I've had relationships in the past. I don't know...i've always just felt like something was missing. Lacking" I murmured quietly, I hadn't told anyone this out loud before. It was strangely liberating

He nodded understandingly "Ready to go over your checklists?"

I blinked. dumbfounded. He wanted to go over it with me? could this be any more embarrassing? "uhm...sure" because what else could i say...

"Bella we have a lot of critics. I pride myself on keeping this club safe, sane and consensual. It's my job to make sure you're not being forced into anything, that you're not in any danger" he explained "don't worry about anything. Just answer honestly, okay?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. Okay. I could do this.

"Good. Now, you have a question mark next to 'water bondage'. did you have a specific question?" he looked up at me

"Uhm-I-no?" I offered lamely. My brain just wasn't working

"here's what I think after looking your file over. You've listed water bondage as a soft limit. But asphyxiation as a hard limit. Is that still correct?" he asked, continuing after I nodded "water bondage is too much for you based on this" he pointed at the paper "I can gather that you're a soft submissive" he started "You need control, and can handle some pain...but you're not a masochist."

Yes. Spot on. Exactly! I must have had my mouth hanging open because I heard him chuckle softly, the sound going straight to my groin.

"yes, I'm aware that I'm good" he grinned "shall we continue"

"Whipping" he stated "Whipping...I feel might be too hard. Especially for a new submissive."

"I wasn't exactly sure what that meant"

"Whipping refers to being struck with a whip, there are several types but they're usually accompanied by high pain. My suggestion, you list it as a hard limit for now, and as you learn more, we can modify"

And just like that, we went through my checklist. As nerve-wracking as it was, Edward made me feel as comfortable as he possibly could.

"Alright, we'll just need a drug test from you. But I believe you'd be an excellent addition to our community."

I was in?

I was in!

The smile on my face was probably retarded. "Thank you so much, Mr. Cullen"

He signed a few papers and then turned the file over to me "I'll need you to sign here" he pointed with his pen "This is the NDA, just protects anonymity of our community. We have a lot of high profile clients that would like to keep themselves under wraps"

I nodded and signed. That would definitely not be a problem. It's not like I was shouting from the rooftops that I was into bondage or anything...

He turned to another paper and pointed again "And here, this is your background check. As soon as it comes back, we'll contact you and have you come in for some logistics." he said

"And then just initial here, and here, confirming that all the information you've provided is correct" he said

"Well Bella, I hope to see you soon" he smiled "And please don't call me Mr. Cullen. That's my father. It's Edward."

I nodded and shook his hand, feeling much more at ease. "Thanks Edward."

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><p>As ever. Tell me what you think.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N:_

_Sorry about the lack of Edward/Bella interaction! It's coming, I promise. I always get antsy! Anyways, I hope you guys liked the first chapter. I'm kind of bored to pieces with my life until school starts so I think I have like next 5 chapters written already? Crazy right? _

_Next chapter will be more about Edward/Bella._

_Also, no matter what you're reading, this story is EDWARD/BELLA. Maybe with some bumps along the way :)_

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><p>"Hey Rose" I smiled. I hadn't heard from Rose ever since she decided to date mystery man last month.<p>

"Hey Bella" She said softly. So un-Rose like. Something was wrong. She sounded so sad and desolate.

I set my current manuscript down and turned my full attention to her "How are you?" I asked, hoping I wouldn't have to beat it out of her. I was horrible at that.

"Broke up with Royce" She said quietly. Oh thank god. "I'm sorry I've been such a horrible friend, Bella" she whispered and I could hear tears in her voice

"No" I placated "Rose...no you haven't been a terrible friend at all. Come over tonight, please? We'll order pizza...get drunk. Like old times." I tried

"Are you sure you're not busy?" she asked

I scoffed "No Rose" I laughed "I'm never too busy for my best friend. Come on. You know you're always welcome. And you can tell me all about the idiot that let you get away."

"Okay" she agreed "I'll be there around 7?"

"Sounds perfect"

"Thank you Bella. I've missed you" she sniffed

"I've missed you too, Rose. I'll see you at 7."

* * *

><p>Again. my phone was fucking ringing AGAIN. Could I ever get through this drab manuscript?<p>

"Isabella Swan" I answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Miss Swan, this is Heidi calling from EDGES, we met last week" She greeted

"Oh! Yes, Heidi, how are you?"

"I'm well Miss Swan, thank you" She said politely "I'm calling to inform you that your background check came back without a glitch, and so did your drug test. We would like you to come back in whenever is convenient for you and speak to one of our coordinators who can give you a tour of the club, and maybe a rundown of how things work?"

"Please call me Bella, Heidi" I said "And that sounds wonderful. How long will all of this take?"

"Shouldn't take more than 2-3 hours"

"Is there an opening on thursday? I'm free all day" I said

"We can do thursday at 12, if that's okay with you"

"Thats perfect. Thank you very much" I said with a small smile. I hope it's Edward..._he's the owner you idiot_..._there's no way he does tours_

* * *

><p>"Rose I've missed you so much!" I grinned and drew her in for a hug<p>

She laughed softly and nodded "You too, Bella. I come bearing gifts" she grinned, holding up a bottle of tequila.

I groaned and moved to the side to let her in "You're trying to kill me."

"It's post-break up cure. I can't help it." she shrugged, setting her things down.

"I ordered the pizza about 5 minutes ago so it should be here in a little bit" i said, taking a seat next to her on the couch "Tell me what happened."

Rose rolled her eyes and opened the bottle of tequila before taking a long swig "Such an asshole." she muttered "It's one thing to have a wandering eye, another to have a wandering dick."

"Oh god!" I groaned in disgust "How many."

"3" she spat in annoyance "How sick is that. oh you haven't even heard the worst of it. 3 Bella...at the same time."

WHAT! Oh hell no. "you're kidding!"

"On more than one occasion too apparently" She sighed "Now I'm just angry. I don't deserve that. Nobody deserves that."

"You're better off without him, Rose." I shook my head, taking the bottle from her and taking a small swig, wincing as the alcohol burned down my throat "What a douchebag."

"I know! And then he had the gall to tell me that I was overreacting. Can you believe that?"

"When did you find out?"

"When we were in New York of all places. He's probably still there. I took the first flight back. Couldn't stand to be in that city anymore." Rose shook her head

"What's his name. I'll call Charlie" I grinned "he has to have something on the fucker."

"Oh my god! Charlie! How's my man" she grinned. Charlie and Rose loved each other. We had been friends since 2nd grade, and my dad and Rose immediately got along. Charlie was like the father Rose never had.

Ah. Like old times...I've missed my best friend.

* * *

><p>"Hey Heidi" I smiled "I'm here for my appointment"<p>

"Bella" She greeted "hold on one sec." she said before clicking a button on her headset "Hey Zafrina, your 12 o' clock is here. Take a seat Bella, Zafrina will be with you in a few minutes"

A tall, dark, gorgeous woman clad in professional business attire walked up to her a few minutes later "Bella?" She asked with a smile

I nodded and stood up to shake her head "Hi Bella, I'm Zafrina. I'll be showing you around and explaining our basic rules today. Please step into my office" she said, leading the way.

I walked across the great room and into Zafrina's office before taking a seat. "How are you today, Bella"

"I'm well. and yourself?"

"Just got back from vacation" she grinned "Can you tell? I think I'm about 10 shades darker" She laughed

"You look wonderful" I nodded sincerely "where did you go?"

"I was actually on my honeymoon. My husband and I did South America."

"oh wow" I smiled "Congratulations!"

"Thank you." she laughed "So I see Edward was the one who approved you. Was your experience with him pleasant?"

"He was great." I nodded " very helpful."

"Good, I'm glad. So I'll be explaining some things to you about our lifestyle...and just some general ideas on how we operate here. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, just let me know, okay? I know it can be a bit overwhelming."

"Okay" I nodded with a deep breath

"I'll just start by telling you a bit about myself. My name is Zafrina Status, I grew up in Los Angeles but my parents are originally from Brazil. I probably entered this lifestyle about...oh gosh, how long has it been...i'd say 9 years ago? I joined a club down south and had very good experiences. I'm currently a physicians assistant my husband does contracting work. We moved here around 4 years ago, and me and my husband both applied to become members here" She smiled, completely open about herself. Not even a flinch. "I have to say Bella, this is one of the safest, well-known, and respected clubs in the country. You have nothing to be afraid of."

"So, we have a lot of mixers, gatherings, parties, lunches...just events that allow all the new members to mingle and meet. It's crucial that you attend at least 1 each month. It can be terrifying" she said understandingly "I know, trust me. But you'll never truly be fulfilled or introduced into this lifestyle if you don't find someone to share it with. These events are completely normal, they're safe...and they're just like any other party or event you would go to. Now i'm not sure how much research you've done, but I'm sure you know that this is not something you can just jump into. Trust, Communication, and Honesty are all key."

"I've read a few things" I nodded

"Excellent. So we'll go ahead and give you some reading material, and in about a month, you'll need to do a test scene." she said

"Test scene?" I asked, mouth suddenly dry

"Yes. You've had absolutely no experiences before, am I correct?" she asked "Well, while we do indulge ourselves in fantasies, BDSM truly is an alternate lifestyle. The test scene is both beneficial to us and to you. It allows us to really see where you are, and it allows you to test it out. See if this is truly something you want to dabble in. Just because you're a member, doesn't mean you don't have an out. We have many people who really believe that this is their calling, and once they're put in the situation head first, they realize that this isn't what they're looking for." she explained

That made sense. Complete sense. How did I know I want this if I've never tried it?

"Now that being said, no one here will ever force you to do anything you don't want to do. That's rule number one. Your hard limits will always be respected. Rule number two, if and when you do find a parter you'd like to become exclusive with, _always_ sign a contract. It's actually one of our laws. If your partner is a member here, you both can come in and we'll draw one up for you based on your stipulations, and if they're not a member, I strongly suggest you have them apply." she said seriously "There are a lot of critics out there, and a lot of people who don't abide by the rules of our community. That's when our lifestyle can be extremely dangerous. You never want to be in that situation."

Jesus Christ. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

"I can see by the look on your face that I've instilled at least a little bit of fear in you" she smirked playfully "Don't be scared Bella. You're safe here. Edward prides himself immensely on keeping this club completely safe, sane and consensual. Now, back to the test scene, it will be administered by one of our 5 heads. People who have been in this community for an extended period of time. People you can no doubt trust. And don't worry, you'll meet all of them several times. If you have a particular head you would like to scene with, you may request them personally, however they must comply."

"Now during a test scene there is no penetration, or sex." she said seriously "Understood?"

I nodded, completely dumbfounded by what I was hearing. Test scene? contracts?

* * *

><p>Zafrina showed me around the club after our talk. It was enormous. The club was equipped with a sauna, spa, and several private rooms people could rent out for play parties andor for anything else they desired. The upper level was a large ballroom, consisting of floor to ceiling chandeliers. The 3rd floor held smaller entertaining rooms and offices and the 4th floor was Edwards office. jesus...an entire floor.

As we were stepping into the elevator, a tall, dark, fairly attractive man entered in next to us, "Zafrina" he greeted with a smile.

"Marcus" she smiled back "how are you?"

"Ah just grabbing some stuff from my locker." he said before his eyes turned to me.

He had striking blue eyes, and just the right amount of scruff, he was definitely attractive. Not as attractive as Edward though...GAH! I needed to stop thinking about him.

"Marcus, this is Bella. She's new to the club" Zafrina introduced "Bella, this is Marcus. He's a regular here, for about...how long as it been?"

"Oh about 5 years now" he smiled, offering his hand to me "Nice to meet you, Bella"

I smiled back and shook his head "You too" i murmured shyly just as the elevator rang

"gotta run, late for work. I hope to see you around, Bella."

* * *

><p>Well that was certainly interesting. And totally unexpected. I grabbed my mail from the box and read through the letters. Ugh Bills. Bills. More bills. Wonder-AH!<p>

"Shit!" I groaned, clutching my arm in pain. Only I would trip and fall over a side table that's been in my apartment for over a year. I took a deep breath, trying to breathe through the searing pain and looked down at my bloody arm.

Shit. Glass. Lodged in the wound. I needed to go to the fucking hospital now. I fished my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Rose, hoping she was free. I really didn't need to explain logistics to another cab driver.

"Rose?" I said when she picked up after the 3rd ring

"Hey Bella, what's up?"

"Can you come pick me up? I need to go to the ER" i cringed at the words coming out of my mouth

"I'm going to go ahead and assume you're alright" She said in mild amusement "Trip and fall again honey?" she laughed

"Rose. Just get here please. You know how much I hate blood."

"Coming coming" She muttered before hanging up

* * *

><p>"Well this is unexpected" An achingly familiar voice said in amusement<p>

My head snapped up and I outwardly gasped as Edward Cullen strode into the room. Stark white coat, stethoscope hanging effortlessly around his neck and all.

Kill. Me. Now.

"Edward" I sputtered in shock, watching as he looked over my file. Jeez. What is it with him looking over my files that makes me so-

"What happened, Bella?" he asked in concern, snapping on a pair of gloves

Just as I was about to respond, Rose cleared her throat and I groaned. Shit. "Edward...this is Rose, my best friend. Rose...Edward" I offered lamely. What else was I supposed to say? Oh hey Rose, this is Edward Cullen. He owns the most successful BDSM club on the west coast...and I know this because I'm a member there?

No.

"Hi Edward" She smiled "How do you know Bella?"

Edward looked at me with a small smirk as he compiled some items on a tray. I pleaded with my eyes and shook my head slightly. Please god. Don't-

"Well Rose, your friend here is quite clumsy from what I can tell" he grinned "spilled her coffee all over me a couple weeks ago."

"Yeah" I spat out with a mild glare "Sorry about that." Damn. i sounded snippy. But did he have to work my clumsiness into it? He probably figured that out from my file, listing my frequent ER visits.

Rose laughed and nodded "yeah that sounds like Bella."

Edward grinned knowingly at me and gently took my injured arm, letting it on the table he had prepared "So how did this happen?"

"My clumsiness got the better of me again." I sighed "Walked into my side table."

"Well" he said, gently feeling around "Nothings broken or perforated. You'll need some stitches, but you'll be just fine."

"Wonderful. More stitches. Absorbable please." I rolled my eyes at myself.

He took an alcohol wipe and began gently cleaning the outside area "I think that can be arranged" he smiled before grabbing the syringe of lidocaine. "Small pinch" he said, pressing the needle to several parts of my arm to numb the area

"I'm going to get coffee. Want anything, Bella?" Rose asked.

I shook my head reluctantly. Great. Now I was alone with him.

"So...I spilled my coffee on you?" I asked, trying to break the silence

"Was fucking hot too." he grinned

"Well. I'd say I'm sorry but I think it'd be a little late" I smiled, groaning when I saw the needle for the stitches.

"Why the groan, Bella?" he asked with a knowing smile while pulling the lodged glass free from my skin

"Hate needles." I muttered "And blood for that matter. So you can see how much I love hospitals."

"So don't look! I can't have you passing out on me" he teased

"So...what are you doing in an ER rotation, Edward. Doesn't seem like it'd be your job..." i said

"Short staffed" he shrugged "We have a pretty high profile surgery going on in Neuro, all the interns are going crazy." he rolled his eyes "Completely unfocused and useless here."

"Can you flex your hand for me?" He said, watching as I made my hand into a fist "Doesn't hurt?"

I shook my head "No"

"No pulling sensation?"

"Nope. I swear Edward, I'm fine." i sighed

"I didn't know you had a medical degree!" He exclaimed

"Shut up."

"There." he said, setting a piece of gauze over the wound and taping it "No more running into things, Bella. I really don't want to see you back here."

"Wow. Thanks. You're too kind" I said sarcastically

"I'd rather see you somewhere else" he winked and I think my heart just stopped. Shit he was sexy.

"Just need you to sign this, and take the paperwork back to reception" he said, handing me a clipboard "I really do hope to see you this weekend. Take it easy, okay?"

I nodded dumbly "Thanks, Edward" i said softly just as he exited the room

Well...I guess I do have plans this weekend after all. SHIT. nothing to wear.

"Rose!" I called out as I opened the door "We need to go shopping"

* * *

><p>"You know it would really help if I knew the occasion, Bella!" Rose groaned in frustration as I dragged her into yet another store<p>

"It's just an authors luncheon, Rose. I don't know much more than that. I need to make an appearance" I sighed.

"Well then I think yellow is the way to go. Is it outdoors?" she asked

"Yeah, outdoors definitely."

"Try this on" she sighed, handing me a long yellow maxi dress "Let me find a few others. You'll need new sandals too."

Finally, after about 30 dresses, i decided on a simple yellow silk tube maxi dress. Adorned with some simple brown flat sandals.

* * *

><p>"Zafrina? Hi, it's Bella" I rambled nervously into the phone<p>

"Oh Hi Bella, How are you?" she asked

"I'm good. Listen...I was thinking about going to the mixer this weekend...and well I just wanted to know if you were going as well?"

"Yes i'll be attending, would you like to go together?" She asked

I breathed out the longest sigh of relief "That would be wonderful."

"Great, i'll call you on saturday morning for details. I'm glad you're coming Bella!" She said sincerely

* * *

><p>"Bella! You look wonderful!" Zafrina smiled as I got out of my car<p>

"Thanks" I smiled back. She really was very likeable. Always so happy. "You look great too!" I said, motioning to her emerald green maxi dress.

She rolled her eyes and took my arm "Green. Chris's favorite color on me. Lord knows why. Anyways, I can tell you're nervous" she said as we walked into the club "Don't be. Seriously, eat some food, mingle a little. It'll be fun."

We walked through the club and through two glass doors that led to a middle courtyard. It had been decorated with hundreds of flowers, buffet tables lined the sides and round dining tables sat in the middle. A good amount of people had already arrived. It all looked so...nice. Normal. Inviting.

"Oh, there's Chris! Come, let me introduce you"

"What, no time to greet your wife, Chris? Am I old news already?" She rose an eyebrow when he didn't notice our presence.

"Mmm" he hummed, turning around and planting a short kiss on her lips "Never baby."

"Chris, this is Bella. Bella, meet my husband, Chris" She smiled

I took his offered hand and smiled "Nice to meet you"

Chris was tall, and standing next to Zafrina, very light skinned. He had piercing blue eyes and a broad build. Definitely attractive.

"Ah so you're Bella." he smiled

"Oh no" I groaned "That doesn't sound good"

He laughed and shook his head "All good things, I promise. Pleasure meeting you, Bella. Zaf, I have to get back to work in a bit. You'll be home by 7?" he asked

"Count on it" She grinned, leaning up and kissing him gently "Bye baby"

"Sorry" she apoligized with a sheepish smile "Newlyweds. can't help it"

"No" i waved off "You guys are so cute together."

"Ah shit. I'll be right back. Kate's here. Will you be okay for a few minutes?" she asked

I nodded. Of course I would be okay for a few minutes...right?

"Hey Bella"

I jumped slightly and turned towards the voice, smiling when I saw it was Edward "Hey Edward"

Edward smiled, kissing my cheek. Oh my god. I was sure my cheeks were burning bright red "Enjoying your afternoon?"

I nodded "It's beautiful"

"Not what you expected?" he chuckled

"Not at all."

"What were you expecting. Whips, chains, and a leather stage?" he teased

"Well..."

He threw his head back and laughed loudly "Give me some credit Bella, you of all people should know my discretion" his green eyes sparkled at me

"Are you going to tease me about that every time we meet?" I shot back

"Until I can find something else on you, yeah" he nodded with a smile

"Wonderful."

"Edward!" We both turned towards the voice. The man from the elevator! Dammit, what was his name?

"Marcus." Edward said shortly. Ah yes...Marcus "How are you?"

Huh. What has his panties in a bunch.

"All is good, Edward. And yourself?" he asked before his eyes flitted over to me.

"I'm fine. Marcus. This is Bella, she's new." Edward said "Bella, this is Marcus."

"We've met" he smiled, offering me his hand "How are you, Bella?"

"Good" I said with a small smile. He really was very handsome...nothing compared to Edward.

* * *

><p>And as the weeks passed, I found myself going to more and more events. I made friends. Zafrina, Heidi, Edward, Marcus, Chris...the parties became fun. I actually looked forward to going. Which is why I needed to move forward.<p>

"Hey Edward" I mumbled into the phone

"_Hey Bella, what's up?"_

"Are you free tomorrow? I really need someone to talk to...and Zafrina's with Chris...I really don't want to bother them."

"_Mmm yeah I can swing lunch if you're free then. It'll have to be at the hospital, sorry" he apologized_

"Oh no, that's fine. What time?" I asked immediately. I needed to get this over with. Before my nerves got the best of me. Come on Bella...you've been dabbling for the past 2 months. It's time.

"_1:30 sound good?"_

"yeah that sounds great."

"_Okay, just tell reception to page me when you're here." he said_

"Thanks Edward"

"_Bella?" he stopped me from hanging up "Are you okay?"_

"What? Oh yeah I'm fine. Just...-we'll talk tomorrow, okay?" I stumbled over my words. This really wasn't a phone conversation

"_Okay." he said hesitantly "See you tomorrow_"

* * *

><p>"Hey" I started awkwardly when he greeted me in the lobby "I brought lunch?" I smiled, holding up the bag<p>

"Oh you didn't have to do that" he admonished "We could have grabbed something in the cafe- okay fine. Thanks" he laughed while leading me into his office

I took out the sandwiches and chips, laying them out on his desk and handed him a soda. "I had no idea what you like on a sandwich...so I'm sorry if you hate it"

"I'll eat pretty much anything if its between bread" he said "Thank you."

We fell into an awkward silence while starting on our lunches. I needed to talk. He probably thought I was an idiot.

"Bella" he started "You wanted to talk?"

"Uhm yeah" I took a deep breath. You can do this. You can do this. "I just-It's been over 2 months. I feel like I need to do my test scene. I mean I know I do. But I don't really know how to proceed...i mean i guess i do. But I'm nervous. Like _really _nervous Edward. You have no idea what it's taken for me to just say this to you right now. God I feel like a mess" I rambled on and on "I also probably sound like an idiot-ug-"

"Bella!" Edward stopped my tirade in amusement "Can you please calm down."

I took a deep breath and nodded "Sorry" I murmured

"Look. Everything you're feeling right now, Bella, it's completely normal okay? I know it's terrifying. It should be terrifying. You're essentially placing your trust in someone elses hands. All I can say is, don't rush it. You don't need to put a timer on anything. You need to find someone you trust. Trust is key. Someone you're comfortable with." he said "And while me saying this won't do anything to calm your nerves, i'll say it anyways; you don't need to be scared. You have all the control here. This is your life." he said sincerely "No one is ever going to force you into anything"

"I know that" I nodded "But Edward, I'm the type of person that _will_ just sit on the back burner and let it be. Even if I really want something, I feel like I'm just not driven enough to get it. So I'm trying to push myself...if you get what I'm saying. I need to do this, or...it'll just become a distant possibility." I said softly

"I don't think that's true, Bella" he cocked his head to the side "After all...you're here talking to me, aren't you? This was a big step. And I know you well enough to know that you sure as hell didn't _want_ to do this. You didn't _have_ to do this...you could have gone on...feeling unfulfilled...longing for more. But instead you took your life into your own hands. Because you understand that no one else is going to do it for you." he said "Something that very few people ever grasp in their lives."

True. So true. Well when he said it like that it made complete sense.

"You don't see yourself clearly at all, do you?" he smiled sadly "You're a strong woman Bella. You need to believe that."

"I know I know" I sighed. I knew I had self-esteem issues.

"That being said. Take some time, think about who and when you'd like to scene with. And just ask them. We're all in this lifestyle together, Bella. We're all here to learn from one another. Please don't hesitate to ask questions or ask for help."

And oddly. I felt better. What one conversatoin with Edward Cullen could do...

"Thanks Edward." I said sincerely "This has been a big help. Seriously. I feel much better."

"No problem" he smiled "By the way. this sandwich, is amazing. Where'd you get it"

"The deli across the street." I laughed "You've never been there?"

"I don't leave the grounds much." he shrugged "Cafeteria food suffices"

"That's just wrong" I could feel my grimace at the mention of hospital food

"It's only a couple days a week" he rolled his eyes

* * *

><p>The next two weeks flew by in a millisecond. I was swamped with work. At least 10 manuscripts were sitting on my desk, and out of the 10, i'd be luck if one actually could keep my attention for more than 3 minutes.<p>

I sighed, putting the finishing touches on my eyes as I got ready for the party tonight. I wasn't planning on going, with all the work I had but fuck it. I needed to get away from all this bland writing.

"Edward" I took a deep breath as he turned to face me.

"Hey sweetheart" he grinned, kissing my cheek. "I didn't think you were coming tonight"

"Can we talk?" I asked, looking around the crowded room "Alone?"

Hey eyed me in concern before nodding "Of course. Let's step into my office."

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked, clicking the door shut

"Edward I-" I closed my eyes, gaining my resolve before opening them again "I would like to scene." I rushed out

"Okay..." he said carefully, eyeing me with care "A test scene. Anyone in particular?"

"You" I said softly, "I thought about what you said. And I trust you the most. I've known you the longest...you introduced-ugh!" I groaned in frustration "I'm rambling, sorry"

He grinned in amusement and it looked like he was trying to suppress his laughter "Calm down, Bella"

His hands rested gently on top of my shoulders "Are you asking me to do your test scene?"

"Yes" I said. Trying to sound confident

"Then yes. I will."

My shoulders slumped down as the tension left my body in relief "Just a little nervous?" he murmured with a sly smile

"Thanks Edward. Sorry for pulling you away."

"No problem" He waived before walking over to his desk and grabbing a stack of papers from a drawer "We'll scene on saturday?" he said, looking to me for confirmation "Friday we'll sit down and discuss any questions or concerns you might have. In the mean time, read these thoroughly"

"Okay" I said, taking the stack from him

"I need to get back" he said, but before he left, I felt his hot breath against my ear. "Oh and Isabella?" he murmured "I'm looking forward to it"

And then he was gone.

Fuck. Today was tuesday.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Review please :) and maybe i'll have the next one up tonight :P_


	3. Chapter 3

EPOV

* * *

><p>Shit shit shit! What the hell was I thinking saying yes to Bella! This would only end in a disaster. She's going to end up getting hurt. <em>I'm<em> going to end up getting hurt.

Get a grip, Edward. It's one scene. This is your domain. You got this.

I took a deep breath and plastered a smile onto my face before going back to the party. Great. James is here. I hate this fucker.

"James" I greeted cooly "Nice to see you here."

He grinned, a bit too sardonically for my taste "Ah Edward. Nice of you to finally show up to your own gathering"

I resisted the urge to punch him "Work, you know how it is. Oh wait...you probably don't. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make my rounds" I smirked.

James was a lazy motherfucker. Never had to work a day in his life. Mommy and Daddy footed all of his bills.

"Edward!"

I turned and smiled at the sound of the voice. The bitch is back...

"Tanya" I returned her hug "How was your trip?"

"Great until my sister decided to give herself alcohol poisoning" she rolled her eyes

"Oh god..." I groaned "Again?"

"Yeah" she scoffed "Again. And I'm sure it'll happen several more times."

I shook my head in annoyance. Tanya was nice...but she was an enabler. Her sister needed to be in rehab, or at least around people who didn't encourage her bad habits. And yet, what does Tanya do? Take her alcoholic sister to Cabo for vacation.

"Who's that?" She asked, breaking my thoughts. I followed her stare and turned around, glaring as I saw James talking to Bella.

"Her name is Bella. She's new. If you'll excuse me, Tanya" I said quickly and made my way over to them. Just in time, it seems. I saw James reach out with one arm, a small smile in place, and Bella cringed away just before he could touch her.

"Bella!" I smiled, setting an arm around her shoulders "There you are. Let's go, I want to introduce you to someone"

She sighed in relief and looked up at me with appreciative eyes "James. Nice meeting you." she mumbled politely as I tugged her away

"Thank you so much" She groaned

I laughed with a nod. Yes. I knew how annoying James could be. "yeah he's a real piece of work"

"He's just so...forward" she shuddered

"What did he do?" I asked seriously "Did he say anything to you?"

"Oh no" she shook her head "He was just very blunt. He just made it clear that he wanted me, Edward. Honest."

I nodded with a deep breath. Now was not the time. "Bella...I suggest you stay away from James."

"Any particular reason?" She asked with a small smile

Smiling? Why the fuck was she smiling? "Would it be enough if I told you that I don't trust anything about him?"

She stared up at me for a few minutes before nodding "Yeah. I think I can trust your judgement on that."

* * *

><p>BPOV<p>

"Hey Heidi, I have an appointment with Edward at 1?"

She nodded at me, rolling her eyes at the person she was on the phone with "Hold please. Oh thank god" she huffed "This man won't stop talking my ear off about some new equipment he thinks we just _have_ to have."

"Hang up on him" I laughed

"I have! 3 times. He just calls back. Anyways, just go on up, Edward is there."

"Perfect. Thanks, and good luck"

I made my way inside the elevator and took it up to the top floor, trying to calm my shaking nerves. I needed to mentally prepare myself for this conversation. I'm assuming Edward wouldn't be all that pleased had I shown up drunk. But honestly, how else do you talk about all of this so openly? Either I'm a frigid bitch, or there's something very wrong with me.

I made my way to his office and knocked on the mahogany door before I lost my nerve.

"Come in"

"Hey Edward" I smiled nervously, seeing him sitting behind his desk, hunched over some paperwork. He lifted his head and offered me a warm smile

"Bella" he greeted "One sec." he signed a few papers and then stood up, walking around his desk to greet me. "Hey. How are you?"

"I'm fine. You should probably ask Heidi that, though" I laughed

"Yes. That girl is always so stressed. I keep telling her to take it easy. Here, lets sit" he led me over to a small couch.

"Did you read over the paperwork I gave you?" he asked

Oh god. Here goes. "Yeah. I-I read them over...but-" i shook my head, trying to clear it "I really don't understand what this is going to be? I mean...I _do_...but-I guess what I'm trying to say is-no you know what...I have no idea what I'm trying to say" I rambled nervously.

Good Job Bella. You're a blubbering idiot.

"Relax, Bella" he laughed softly "This is just a scene. Between two consenting adults. It's more like a trial run for you. I know you've thought a lot about this. It's a new experience for you, and like any new experience, we need to take it slow. Find out what you like...don't like. That sort of thing. Why are you nervous?" he cocked his head to the side

Are you kidding me? Why am I nervous? "Why wouldn't I be nervous?" I exclaimed

"Touche" he grinned "Okay, lets rephrase. What are you nervous about?"

"Do you have this planned out? Or are you going to play it by ear...I don't understand how any of this works, Edward. I feel so lost and incompetent right now. Will you give me safe-words or-" I stopped myself, taking a deep breath before looking back at him "I feel like I sound stupid"

"Well to answer your questions, no I don't have this planned out. I never plan scenes out, well not completely anyways. We'll start slow and move forward based on your responses. That sound good?" he asked

I closed my eyes and nodded. Jeez. My cheeks were probably on fire by now.

"Bella." he said, and I felt his warm hands encase one of mine "Look at me"

I opened my eyes and found him smiling reassuringly at me "Just...calm down. Talk to me. Let's figure this out, okay?"

"I'm trying" I mumble, completely infatuated by him.

"I know." he squeezed my hand "And of course I'll give you safe-words. I don't condone scening without them. Ever."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Bella. Tomorrow will be hard for you. Because when you're scening or playing for the first time, it can take a while to get into that frame of mind. You really have to just listen to what your body tells you...try not to over-think things and really go there with yourself. And while I don't think you'll have trouble with much...you over-think _everything" _he smirked

"God I know" I groaned. I literally thought about every single thing in detail. It was a bad habit...one that got me into trouble often.

"And that's okay" he placated "Don't be frustrated if tomorrow doesn't meet all of your expectations. Good things take time."

I nodded.

"Okay. Let's talk logistics. Tomorrows scene will be about one hour. I'm giving you 2 safe-words. Yellow if you feel uncomfortable and need to slow things down, and Red if you need to stop the scene all together. Say them." he said seriously

"Yellow and Red" I nodded with a breath

"Good. Afterwards, I would like to talk about the scene. I personally do this after every scene, but it's honestly up to you. If you don't want to talk to me, that's fine also, but I suggest we do. Just to get any concerns or thoughts you have out there. What do you say?"

"I'm not sure how good at talking I'll be" I breathed out in a laugh "But sure, I would like to talk...or at least try I guess."

"Here" he said, handing me a packet of papers "Read these. They're my rules" he smirked "You can take them home and read them unless you want to discuss them right now"

"No" I squeaked quickly "Home is good." There was no way I was discussing these here...with him. I'd sooner die of embarassment.

"I thought so" he laughed "So do you have any other questions for me?"

"No" I let out a breath "I think we're good."

"The rules are pretty much self explanatory. If you do have questions though, don't hesitate to call me."

"Okay"

"I guess I'll see you at 3 tomorrow." he said with a small smile

"Right. 3." I repeated. What was I doing now?

Right...going home. I stood up and gave him a quick hug "Bye Edward. Thanks"

"Bella?" he called out just before I turned the knob "Just take a deep breath, and remember that you're safe with me. Okay?"

I nodded "i'll try and remember that tomorrow, Edward. Goodnight"

* * *

><p><strong>RULES: SUBMISSIVE<strong>

**Basic Rules**

**Never be disrespectful to your Master/Dominant**

**Do not submit to be passed around as a sexual favor between Doms.**

**Use your safe-word to stop unwanted activity. We will talk about why after. You will never be punished for using it.**

**Always safe-word if suspended and limbs become cold or numb.**

**Remain constantly focused and alert. For the safety of yourself and your Dominant**

**Follow instructions exactly and immediately.**

**Limits**

**Do not allow permanent injury, scaring, cutting, burning**

**Never leave clamps of any kind on for more than 15 minutes. Allow blood to circulate.**

**Never allow yourself to be struck on ovaries or kidneys**

**Never allow yourself to be hit with whip or crop on the tailbone, head or neck.**

**No asphyxiation, water bondage, or breath play.**

**No edge play**

**No needle or blade play**

**No Extreme pain to be administered**

**No Fecal/bodily fluid play**

**No Fisting**

**No whipping**

**Rules upon entering playroom**

**Upon entering playroom, Submissive will discard of any/all clothing, kneel, sit back on heels and place hands on top of legs, palm up. Eyes will be cast down and will stay in position until Dominant gives other instructions.**

**Submissive will be respectful and mindful of Dominant at all times.**

**Submissive will never orgasm without permission.**

**Submissive will only speak given permission to do so; unless to safe-word.**

**Submissive will never look directly at Dominant, unless given permission.**

**Submissive is expected to safe-word if uncomfortable, or in any pain. Safe-wording will never result in punishment.**

**Submissive will always refer to Dominant as 'Sir,' unless otherwise stated **

**Submissive's safety is always priority to Dominant. Dominant will always ensure Submissive is safe.**

**Bella,**

**Upon arrival at Edges tomorrow, proceed to Room number 16 at 3:00 pm. Get into position and wait for me to arrive. **

Jesus. I was panting. I set the list down and leaned back on the couch...how the hell was I going to pull this off with Edward Cullen? The man could read me like an open book.

Any normal person would be completely horrified by this piece of paper. But me? I'm panting at just the sight of them. Jesus it's going to be a long night...

* * *

><p>"<em>Hello?"<em>

Oh god. What the hell am I doing? Why the fuck am I calling him at 11pm? Fuck Fuck Fuck! I have to say something...I mean...it took me an hour just to dial his number. And then another hour to actually push send.

"_Hello?" his impatient voice came through the line again "Bella..."_

"Hi Edward" I squeak out. Ugh.

_I hear his soft chuckle on the other end "What's up, Bella"_

"I think I called you on accident. Sorry, i'll let you get-"

"_Hold it" He interrupted my rant "You didn't call me on accident. Talk to me, Bella. What's going on"_

I suck in a large breath of air and stare down at my fingers. How do I explain?

"_Hey" His tone is softer now and he pauses for a moment "Close your eyes"_

What?

"_Just do it"_

He knows me so well. I do as he asks and lean back into my couch

"_Relax. Take a deep breath, and tell me." He coaxes_

Hmm. he's good at this. "I'm scared" I whisper into my cell

"_Let me guess. You're scared, and doubting your decision" he says easily_

"Yeah" I breathe

"_Stop thinking. This is something you've wanted for a while. And you're letting your nerves get the better of you. Look, if you're doubting yourself, if you find yourself not trusting yourself...trust me. This is who I am Bella, and I swear to you that I won't ever steer you wrong. I'm very good at what I do, I'm a perceptive man. You know that. If you don't enjoy tomorrow, I'll notice. If you find that it's not to your liking, that it's not the right lifestyle for you, I'll notice._" _He says so seriously and diligently that I have no choice but to believe him _"_You're a strong woman, I promise to take care of you anyways though" he's smiling! Why is he smiling!_

"How do you do it?" I breathe in awe. How is it that he's able to calm me down in just 2 minutes?

"_I've been in your shoes. I know how it feels." he says simply_

"Terrifying" I whisper

"_Horrifying." he laughs softly _

* * *

><p>"Edward." Zafrina said quietly but firmly<p>

"Zafrina?" I asked in question

"I know you're doing Bella Swans scene tomorrow. I love you, Edward. You know that. But that girl...she's completely infatuated with you"

I scoffed with a shake of my head "I'm a mentor to her, Zafrina. Nothing else."

"If you truly believe that than you're an idiot" she shot back, a hint of a smile on her lips "Please, _please_ don't lead her on if you don't intend to take things further. And you know what I mean. Not a scene here or there. Bella wants a relationship. No...she needs a relationship. And I'm pretty sure you already know this."

"How do _you_ know this?" I was starting to get a little annoyed. What the hell did Zafrina think she was playing at

"Bella and I are great friends, Edward. I really like her. I see how she looks at you...she trusts you." she said softer "But-I'm afraid that you'll pull back...like you always do."

I sucked in a sharp breath and glared at her. No. We were not discussing this shit now. No fucking way. "I'm going to stop you right there." I snapped "While I appreciate your concern for Bella, I don't believe this is any of your business."

"It is my business. And I'm sorry if you think it's out of line. But can I just say that I think you would be really good for her?" she asked, sitting down in one of my leather chairs. Great. she was staying.

"Yeah?" I scoffed "Why's that"

"You like her, Edward!" She exclaimed in annoyance "I just-I don't want to see _either_ of you get hurt. You know as well as I do that Bella isn't going to be parading around the club with different Doms...I mean you do know that right?"

"Yes, I'm aware."

"So...after tomorrow. Maybe a week from now, maybe a month...when she finds someone she wants to start being exclusive with?" she shrugged sadly "You're going to get hurt. I don't want that either. I love you like you're my own brother, Edward."

I sighed in annoyance, but felt my heart warm at her admission. "I don't _want_ to hurt her, Zafrina" I murmured tiredly "I'm not ready for a relationship though. You know that"

"No. I know you're ready. I wish you had as much faith in yourself as I do. It's been so long! How long are you going to keep going on like this? You can't be happy. All you do is work. You work at the hospital and then you come here. It-it's not a life, Edward. If you would look at yourself in a mirror, you would see how run down you've become. I want the Edward Cullen I met 5 years ago." She whispered and I was startled to find tears shining in her eyes "You put on a good face. But you can't fool family. Alice has seen it. Your parents have seen it. They're worried about you"

"You talked to Alice?" I hissed "What did she say"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. I'm not trying to upset you. Just...be careful, okay? And try to follow your heart a little more. Forget about your head, it's not that great anyways" she teased before standing up and walking around my desk "At least give me a hug you ass." She glared when I didn't stand up

I sighed and stood up, pulling her into my arms for a friendly hug "I know you're pissed at me right now. But you'll appreciate it later."

"Thanks" I muttered

It was going to be a long night...

* * *

><p>I sigh for what seems like the thousandth time in my car. It's 2:35...I suppose it's time to go in. I've been sitting outside of the club for at least 30 minutes, wondering if this is truly what I want. And...there's no doubt about it. Sure I was terrified beyond belief...but isn't that the case with most new things?<p>

I finally get out of my car and make my way through the large doors. "Hey Heidi" I manage a small smile on my way to Room number 16.

"Hey Bella" she grins

Dammit. Does everyone know? How embarrassing. I shake my head and continue on to my destination, letting out a breath when I finally reach it. A large mahogany door stands in front of me, with the numbers 16 engraved on it. I slowly reach out and turn the knob-it clicks open and I step inside.

Jesus. H. Christ.

As quickly as I can, I scurry inside and slam the door shut behind me, leaning back against it and trying to catch my bearings. This wasn't just a room...it was-

A large padded table sat in the middle of the room, all kinds of straps and restraints hanging around it. To it's left was a large sawhorse, to it's right a large wooden cross. The entire outer part of the room was adorned with drawers and cabinets...probably holding sinful things if I were to guess. Behind the table was a large vacant area, nothing set on the ground, just long ropes and restraints hanging from the ceiling.

That must be for the suspension...I did do my own share of reading.

Several other machines sat in the empty room but I had no clue what they are.

I scan the area and find a small cushion to the right of the door. Bingo.

Slowly discarding my clothes, I take care to fold them and place them neatly in a corner before checking the time.

2:50

Damn. Almost time.

I notice that the temperature has been turned up, despite my current state of undress, I'm not cold. Jeez. Does he think of everything?

I slowly lower myself onto the pillow and rest back on my heels, place my palms flat on my thighs and lower my head.

I can't breathe. I can't do this.

No! You can do this. You need this! You want this.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, willing my body to stay in position and not run, screaming for the hills as I'm so tempted to do. I'm safe. Vulnerable...but safe.

Edward. Edward was safe. He would take care of me. I had my safe-words. There was nothing to be afraid of. I'm in a safe environment.

I froze. Breathing and all as I heard the door click open. A cold chill ran down my back and I had to restrain myself not to turn towards the noise when the door clicked closed.

I closed my eyes as the footsteps got closer.

"Breathe Isabella" Edwards quiet voice floated through the air. _Hmm, Isabella...why did that sound so fucking hot coming from his lips?_

I let out the breath I was holding when I felt his warm palm gently caress my head.

"Good" he said "Now relax. The hardest parts over." _Yeah right..._

His hand left my head and I could see the tops of his bare feet as he stood in front of me "Look at me"

I lifted my head and fought to keep my eyes open as I saw the intensity of his stare. This was Dominant Edward. Everything about him screamed confidence and authority. His eyes were darker somehow...everything more defined. "Are you okay?"

I opened my mouth to answer before remembering that I didn't have permission to do so. Score!

The corner of his mouth twitched up into a small smile "You may answer. For future reference, when I ask if you're okay, you are to answer immediately. Thank you for remembering my rules, Isabella"

"Yes sir" the words rolled off my tongue "I'm okay."

Oh god. I was blushing. Sure of it. In fact, my entire body feels flushed. But if Edward noticed, he was either too much of a gentleman to point it out, or simply didn't care.

"What are your safe-words?"

"Yellow and Red, sir" I said

"You may look back down, Isabella." he said and I lower my eyes to the ground once more, watching as his feet disappear from my view.

Where the hell was he going?

"We'll be testing out various different instruments today, Isabella-" My head immediately snapped in the direction of his voice. Why did he sound so far away! Shit! I noticed my mistake immediately and turned back around, staring down at my hands.

Fucked up already.

"Isabella, did I give you permission to move?" he asks. He doesn't sound angry?

I remain silent, conscious not to make another mistake in such a short amount of time

"You may answer"

"No, I'm sorry Sir" I reply, voice sounding shaky even to my own ears

"Take some deep breaths and relax. You don't need to be afraid. Would it help if I told you what I was doing?"

I was starting to get a glimpse of how Edward worked. He's always teaching...giving ample time to learn.

"No Sir" I say, a little stronger now. I definitely did not need to know what he was doing...in fact that would probably give me a stroke.

I never got an answer, but I took deep, calming breaths as I heard him rustling around the room. Gathering whatever it is he needed.

I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't hear him approach "Isabella" he said, and I opened my eyes

"I'm going to blindfold you. This is our first exercise. Trust."

"Are you still okay?"

"Yes sir" I replied. I was nervous, sure. But definitely still okay to continue. I've come this far. There's no way I'm backing out now.

A soft wrap flitted over my eyes and then I saw nothing. I felt him fastening the straps over my ears.

"Stand up" he said, one of his hands wrapping around my forearms as he helped me balance. I stood up fully and was surprised at how discombobulated I was. "easy" was his soft response to my swaying

The hand that was on my arm tugged me forward and I tried my best to follow. Although, the fact that I'm clumsy as hell when I can actually see probably didn't help my situation.

"Trust me?" He murmured as we came to a stop. I was about to nod when I felt a soft restrain close over my left wrist.

I heard a soft gasp escape my lips and he continued, binding my right wrist as well. My arms were stretched out over my head, in each direction.

"Spread your legs"

Oh sweet jesus. I'm going to cum just from hearing him speak. I did as I was told "Wider" he said, tapping on my right thigh

I complied, biting back a groan when he bound both my ankles as well. I was now standing spread eagle before him. He could literally do anything he wanted to me. And the thought turned me on to no end...

"How do those feel, Isabella? You may answer"

"They feel good, sir" I said softly

A soft groan escaped my lips when a soft tickling sensation flitted over my ribs and around my back. "And this? How does this feel?"

"Good sir" I panted as the soft sensation came around the other side and up over my breasts. "Ah!" I gasped. A dull sting replaced the sensation over my abdomen. And it felt so _good!_

The object struck me again, this time higher, just the ends brushing my breasts. Yes. This is what I've been craving. What I've been wanting since day 1.

Soft licks peppered my body, and I could feel myself growing warmer. How long is he going to keep this up? Please don't ever fucking stop.

I heard a loud groan escape my lips when the tails landed just above my naval. Shit.

* * *

><p>EPOV<p>

I stopped and stepped back, assessing her body. It was a beautiful shade of pink, I watched her chest rise and fall with every breath she took. Yes she's definitely enjoying herself.

"Are you okay, Isabella" I asked, gently running my fingers over her sensitive abdomen

"Ahhhhhh" She moaned "Yes sir"

Already so far gone. I smile. She's so responsive...to my touch, to everything.

"I'm going to use a pair of nipple clamps on you. Are you still okay?" I asked, grabbing a soft pair I had laid out.

I hear her suck in a sharp breath "Yellow" She whispers out hesitantly

Mm, yes, this is expected. "They're very soft. I'm going to try one, if you feel it's too much, use your safe-word, understood?" I had no doubt in my mind that she would love them. Fear of the unknown...I could push her a little.

"Y-yes Sir" she said hesitantly

I gently cupped her right breast in my palm and ran my thumb back and forth over her nipple. "Oh my god" She whimpered

"Did I ask you a question, Isabella?" I smirked, pinching her now hardened bud between my fingers

"unghhh No sir!" She moaned "I'm sorry"

"Deep breath" I instructed, waiting until she had done as I asked, and attached the clamp, smiling at her deep groan of approval "Not so bad, hmm"

She shook her head, breath coming out in loud pants as she struggled to take in all the sensations I was giving her. "You're doing so well" I murmur in reassurance and stroke her hair briefly "Deep breath again"

I stood back and gazed in awe at her. She truly was gorgeous. Flushed and completely at my mercy.

* * *

><p>BPOV<p>

"Lets count your transgressions, shall we?" His sultry voice floats through the air. How can one human being sound so fucking sexy?

"I'd say 5 strokes for moving without permission, and 5 for speaking without permission." he was circling around me, like an animal would it's prey.

I needed _something_. I didn't even care that he was talking about punishment. I felt my arousal dripping down the inside of my thigh and groaned. I was embarrassingly wet, and horny for that matter. "Count" he stated

And he struck me _there_, right where I had been dying to be touched, to feel anything. "Isabella." He waited patiently. Huh? What was I-oh!

"One Sir" I said quickly.

"Two Sir" I panted

"Eight Sir" I groaned. Oh god. If he hit me again I was surely going to cum.

I felt the end of whatever he was using run down the inside of my quivering thigh "Mm so wet already, Isabella?"

"I'm sorry sir" I said softly

"And why are you sorry?"

"I-May I please cum, sir?" Jesus. Can I get one sentence out without stumbling like a fool?

"Hmmm already? I don't think so" he murmured "Listen to your body, Isabella. Let the sensation wash over you. Stop thinking" his alluring voice whispered into my ear "You don't need to think here. Let me take care of you"

I hummed in approval, as if I were under some sort of spell. Nothing mattered. Only him. I let the warm tingly sensation take over my body, and I felt it all the way down to my toes. My head felt fuzzy with arousal.

The instrument stroked the inside of my thighs softly as he spoke "Do you know how gorgeous you are, Isabella? Completely tied up at my mercy?" he flicked one of my nipple clamps and I had to bite my lip to contain my cry of pleasure. Shit.

"2 more." he said and ran the end of what I now assumed to be a crop, through my folds. Oh my god.

"Ohhhhhhhh" I cried helplessly jerking towards him

I heard his deep, soft chuckle before feeling that delicious sting between my legs once again "9 Sir" I panted. One more. Just one more.

"10! Sir!" I gasped, using everything I had not to orgasm at that moment. Jesus christ. He had barely touched me.

"Good girl" he praised softly, and I felt him unclasping my restraints, first my arms, then legs. His hands gently massaged my arms and legs for a few moments "Are you okay?"

"Yes sir" I whispered softly. I had the sudden urge to please this man. I would do whatever he wanted me to. He was the center of my attention.

"Walk forward" he said, and this time I didn't hesitate. I stepped forward, one foot after another, no stumbling. "Stop" he instructed "Turn around"

As soon as I turned around I felt soft hands around my waist picking me up and setting me down on a table? The padded table? "Lie back"

I slowly leaned back until my back was flat against the cool leather. He gently slid me up so I was in the center and my legs were no longer dangling off the edge. I hummed in content; feeling two soft hands gently massage my upper arms, then move down to my legs. Jesus. These hands.

"Isabella?" he sounded amused. why would he be amused

"Hmm?" I hummed

"I asked you a question. Are you sore or stiff?"

Oh shit. I needed to snap out of it! "Sorry sir" I breathed "No. I'm fine"

I didn't get a response. His hands left my legs and I bit back a groan when I felt his breath against my ear "How are the clamps, Isabella?"

"G-good sir" I panted when one he flicked one. Jesus H. Christ!

"Relax for a minute. When you're ready, I want you to turn on your front, resting on your forearms and knees" He said, and I felt a rush of air as he walked away from me.

I sighed and took a few deep breaths, trying to assess my body. I was horribly worked up. There was no doubt in my mind now that this was for me. This is what I wanted...no _needed_. The control, the submission. I loved every single minute of it. And the best part? I feel like I belong here. Letting out the breath I was holding, I rolled over onto my front and lifted up onto my knees and elbows. I jumped, startling when a soft hand ran down the expanse of my bare back "Calm down Isabella. You're doing so well"

"Thank you sir" I whispered, feeling myself blush at his praise

The hand that was now resting on my lower back pushed down "Arch for me"

I pushed my ass out and curved my back inwards, feeling more exposed than I had before. "Beautiful" his soft voice rang through the room, an equally soft hand caressing the curve of my ass. And that's when I felt it. No, well first I heard it! His hand came down sharply on the curve of my ass, making me gasp loudly at the sensation.

"Onee-"

"Shhh" his hand rubbed circles to soothe the sting "No need to count sweetheart. Close your eyes and feel. You may vocalize as much as you want"

I groaned, barely able to get my breathing under control. Jesus. I could hear myself panting. His hand came down again and again, invoking feelings I never knew I could exist. I felt like I was floating, my ass felt tender, but the good kind. Warm. Tingly. Sensitive. And damn if I wasn't turned on by it.

"Still okay?"

"Mhmmmmm" I hummed out, unable to form words at this point

His chuckle echoed through the room "I'll let that one slide since it's your first time" he mumbled "By the way" he whispered hotly into my ear "That was a warm up"

And seconds later, something harder, thicker, with a dozen tails hit my behind. Another flogger? This one was different though. "I want to hear you, Isabella"

He continued to flog me for a good while, alternating where his blows landed and the force behind them. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, they stopped. The room was dead silent. His breathing matched mine. Heavy...loud...the only thing I could hear in the room.

I was shaking. No trembling. I could feel it...like a rush of white heat was running through my body, and I didn't know how much longer I was going to last. Not in this position, not without any release. I sucked in a large gulp of air and let it out slowly, trying to get myself under control.

"Mmm I think someone's ready" Edwards deep husky voice said. Two hands came around my abdomen and flipped me over so I was lying on my back once again. he set me down carefully to not disturb my already sore behind. "Stretch your legs out for me"

I slowly distended my legs, wincing slightly as I stretched the muscle and let them rest flat on the leather. He draped each of them over the sides so that my legs were partially dangling off the table, spread wide. "AHHHH" I screamed involuntarily as some sort of vibrator pressed against my all too sensitive clit.

"Oh my god" I whimpered, feeling my body jerk wildly under the buzzing toy. Shit. I wasn't going to last. This- "Please may I cum?" I whispered desperately, hands stretching out and gripping the sides of the table I was on.

"Count backwards from 10, and ask again properly this time" Edward stated, not letting up on the wand

"Ohhhh 10-9-8-" I counted as best i could until I got to "0. Please sir, May I cum?" I asked, shaking my head in fear that he would deny me again. I wasn't going to be able to hold back this time-

"Yes" He said

I groaned, white heat shooting through me, head thrown back, as pleasure rolled through me in waves. I felt like I was being shot upwards, towards a-

"Do I get a thank you?" came his amused voice

I panted and softly responded "Thank you sir. OH god"

"Had enough?"

I nodded frantically. How long was- Shit shit shit- How am I still coming? This was torture. My back ached with the angle I was at no doubt, I could feel beads of sweat forming on my harline...sweet Jesus. Was he ever going to stop?

"Sure?"

"Please" I cried, pleading with him to stop. It was too much.

Finally, the buzzing came to an end and I sighed in relief, resting my back on the leather again. Jesus christ. I was panting...I could feel sweat on my forehead and fought not to fall asleep.

* * *

><p>"How do you feel?" he asks with wide eyes. Is he concerned?<p>

I'm silent for a moment "Strangely emotional" I whisper, looking down at my hands which are playing absentmindedly with the imaginary piece of lint on my jeans.

I hear him blow out a long breath and before I know it, my legs are draped over his and I'm leaning back against the arm of the couch. His hand rests on my left knee, thumb rubbing small circles over it. "Good"

Good? What the fuck did that mean? I stare over at him and shake my head in confusion "I-I don't-"

"Hey" he drawls out, pulling me in so my side is resting against his chest. "Did you enjoy our time?" he asks simply, and I have no choice but to nod against his shoulder "Then there's no problem. Is there?"

"No" I whisper "I don't understand. Does everybody feel like this afterwards?"

"It's called sub-drop. Or coming down. Many people experience it. No matter how long they've scened or been affiliated with this lifestyle. It happens to almost everyone. Sometimes it's worse than others." he explains and I feel a little lighter. I'm not stupid...I'm not the only one.

"Okay"

"Relax, Bella." he coaxes

"I am" I murmur

"You're very tense" He objects "I can feel you. Just..._relax_" his hands come up and gently massage my shoulders. "There" he hums when I close my eyes and let myself melt against him.

"I'm sorry" I say against his shoulder "I just dont know how to do this. What to say..."

"Just talk to me" he shrugs slightly, as if it's no big deal "Was there anything I did that you hated?"

"No" I whisper, feeling a blush cover my cheeks, and my entire body for that matter. Jeez. I don't know if I can do this. I would rather just go back in the playroom. At least there I don't have to think so much.

"Absolutely nothing?"

"I don't really have much to compare it to, Edward. But no. There was nothing that I wouldn't do again." I sighed, desperately wanting this conversation to end.

"Okay" I hear a smile in his tone "Do you have any questions for me?"

"God no" I groan with a shake of my head "I-definitely don't."

His chest rumbled with the chuckle he let out "Alright, Bella. I'll put you out of your misery. Go home. Take a hot bath and relax. You did well."

* * *

><p>Weeks passed since that day. Edward and I had become good friends...he had this wall. An emotional wall that I could practically see. He was afraid to let people in...let people too close. I wonder what happened to make him this way.<p>

I was much more sure of myself. I wanted to scene again...to feel taht sense of direction. But fuck work. Work had a way of creeping up on me. Half of the year I'm bored, sitting on my ass and watching reruns of Gilmore girls, and the other half? I barely have time to pee because of all the editing I have to do.

* * *

><p>BPOV<p>

"Hey Marcus" I smiled as he walked into the elevator

"Bella! What are you doing here at this hour?" he asked

"Oh visiting Heidi. I was just leaving"

"Well would you happen to be free? I'm just about to grab some lunch" he offered

Lunch? With Marcus? I guess I could do lunch...Is that weird?

"Yeah I can eat" I nodded

And I guess that's how my relationship with Marcus started...

* * *

><p>"Hey Edward" I smiled<p>

"Hey" he muttered, not even sparing a glance in my direction

Huh. What's up his ass? "Did you get my text?" I asked, sidling up beside him as he walked to the elevator "You know about the-" the next words died on my lips when I found him glaring at me. Practically burning a hold through my head. What the hell had I done now?

"Did you have lunch with Marcus?" He asked sharply

"Uhm yes, I did. Yesterday" I answered in confusion. What the fuck is wrong with him!

"Why" He stated

Okay. Now he was starting to piss me off. "Why what" I snapped back "Why did I have lunch with a potential friend? What's it to you, Edward. You've never asked me out."

He pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers, something he did when he was frustrated beyond belief. "I have work to do. If you need to speak to me, make an appointment" he said brusquely

"Seriously?" Was this even real right now? He was mad because I had lunch with-

"Bella please" his tone softened fractionally "Just-just go"

I turned on my heel and walked away from him before I chewed him out for good. That wouldn't go over so well in public. What an ass. A pompous, arrogant, cocky, ASS! Who does he think he is? It's not like _he's_ ever asked me out to lunch or anything for that matter. So what the fuck does he care.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I had my cell out and was already dialing Marcus's number "Hey Marcus" I said when he picked up on the 2nd ring

"Bella, what a pleasant surprise"

I smiled "Do you have any plans for tonight?" I asked

"Nothing I can't get out of. What did you have in mind?"

"Dinner?"

"Dinner sounds good. I'll pick you up at 8"

Mission accomplished. So...why didn't I feel as good as I thought I would?

* * *

><p><em>Another fucking phone call?<em>

What is it with Fridays...oh god. I groaned seeing the caller ID.

"Hello" I said shortly

"Bella" Edwards soft voice rang through the receiver. he actually sounded...sad? "Is this a good time?"

"Good as any" I stated, trying not to be rude

"I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I was having a horrible morning and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm really sorry. I'm happy you're finding-" he stopped short before continuing "If Marcus makes you happy, then I'm in full support of you and him."

"Thanks Edward" I said quietly. Shit. Why do I feel guilty? I did nothing wrong!

"So...apology accepted?" he asked

"Apology accepted" I said honestly

"Just...go slow, okay Bella?" He said in soft sadness before hanging up.

_I DON'T WANT MARCUS!_ I wanted to scream at him. _I WANT YOU!_

* * *

><p>I found myself having lunch with Marcus again a few days later, and as satisfying as it was to have a friend...as satisfying is it <em>had<em> been, I missed Edward. I missed talking to him...I missed his smile. His laugh...

"Bella?" Marcus said, waving a hand in front of my face

"Huh" I shook my head, clearing my thoughts, "Sorry Marcus, what were you saying?"

He looked on at me in amusement and lifted his wine glass to his lips "I was asking if you'd like to come over some time. Maybe get to know eachother...and just so I'm making my intentions clear, I would like to scene with you...and if that goes well...maybe we can move further"

Holy shit balls. Marcus wanted a relationship with me? He wanted to be my Dom? I must have looked like a fish out of water because he nudged my mouth closed with a small chuckle "Don't look so surprised, Bella."

"Sorry" I coughed in surprise "I just-I mean...you want to scene with me?"

"Why is that so surprising?" He rose an amused eyebrow

"Marcus, I'm very new to this lifestyle, I'm sure there are hundreds of women out there willing and even hoping to scene with you. Women who will probably be much better equipped than me, so forgive me if I'm confused, but...I just need to know. Why me?" I ask quietly.

"Isabella. You're beautiful, and anyways, I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?" he smiled, leaning back "i'd like to take you one a couple dates...get to know eachother. We'll start with one scene" he said "When you're comfortable of course. And go from there. Why pretend this isn't leading there? It's who we are"

True. I nodded in agreement and he continued "I'm not asking for a definitive answer today. Take some time to think...but I will ask one thing of you"

"what's that" What could he possibly want?

"Say yes to dinner with me on friday night" he grinned

Dinner? Like a date? Marcus is nice! He's not horrible to look at..._he's also no Edward_. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and nodded. I had to stop thinking like that. Edward clearly wasn't interested. "I would love to go to dinner with you on Friday, Marcus"

"So there are no misunderstandings, this is a date" He rose an eyebrow

I rolled my eyes with a smile "I figured."

* * *

><p>Although my relationship with Marcus was progressing, my friendship with Edward was slowly getting back to where it was. And by that I mean he was no longer burning holes in my head when we spoke... Everything was great with us except when Marcus was around. I made the mistake of showing up at the club with Marcus one day...that did not go over well. Needless to say, that'll never happen again.<p>

"Hey Edward" I said with a small smile. I could never gouge his mood these days.

He looked up from the paper he was reading and smiled back at me. Thank god. Good mood today. "Hey Bella, what are you doing here?"

"I live 3 blocks from here. Needed some coffee for my next manuscript." I shrugged, still standing awkwardly in front of him, clutching my warm coffee. Did I stay? Sit?

A corner of his mouth twitched into a small smirk for a second before he motioned to the chair across from him "Would you like to sit?" he asked

I took the seat and set my cup down, certain a small blush covered my cheeks. Why did he still have that effect on me? I was with Marcus now!

"So what are you doing here? This usually isn't your scene" I asked

"Needed to get away from both offices for a while. Heidi's driving me insane and the hospital won't stop paging me. I'm not on-call today so don't look at me like that" he rolled his eyes

I closed my mouth and shrugged sheepishly "Sorry"

"Anyways, thought I'd just read for a while."

"Thats good. You should get away once in a while. You always look so tired, Edward" I said.

"You've been talking to Zafrina?" he accused with a small smile

I shook my head "No" I laughed "Just perceptive. That's all."

"How are you and Marcus?" he asked

Oh god. Awkward! "We're good..." I said, internally cringing "Taking things slow..."

"Good" he said softly "I'm glad. He's treating you well?"

"He's been great" I reply softly.

We sit for a few more awkward moments before I can't take it anymore. "I better go. At this rate I'll be up all night."

Edward chuckled "Marcus won't like that. You better go."

What? "What do you mean?"

He narrowed his eyes for a moment before regarding me with care "Bella...have you and Marcus talked logistics at _all_?" he asked in mild incredulance

"What type of logistics, Edward."

"Have you discussed limits, rules, anything of the sort?"

"Not yet..." I mumbled. Jeez...were we supposed to do that already? I mean we'd only been dating for a month. Marcus did say he wanted to scene together soon though...he felt like we were ready.

"Take my advice. Discuss this with him before you get into anything." he said seriously "And I mean _anything_, Bella. It's important."

"I don't-quite know how to bring it up" I sighed in frustration. I'm at a loss here. I'm always at a loss it seems. Fuck.

"It doesn't matter. If you can't talk to him, your relationship won't work." he said. And he wasn't being rude or malignant... He was also right. How could I scene with this man if I couldn't bring up the mere topic of it?

"Should we have discussed this already?" I ask curiously "I mean...he's mentioned scening soon...I just figured we'd bring it up closer to the date."

"Every relationship is different, Bella. But Marcus should know better. He has certain expectations...and he-" he stopped himself. What the fuck was he going to say? "Just...talk to him and figure out what he wants from you before you get too far in, please. You'd be surprised how many relationships are incompatible because of sexual preferences" he lowered his voice. "I'm telling you this because you should have discussed these things by now. Especially already knowing what you're getting into. Marcus should know better."

I sat back in my seat and stared at him in mild shock. Why did he always have to be right? Was there anything he wasn't fucking good at? "I'll talk to him soon." I didn't know what else to say! What else do you say to that?

"Breathe, Bella" he said in amusement, I think "Just talk to him."

"Thanks, Edward." I say sincerely "For all the help..."

"Of course. Call me if you ever need anything, Bella. Seriously, okay?"

"Oh!" I remembered "Heidi said you were going on a trip soon? Doctors without borders?"

He grinned with a nod "yeah, next week. Going into Syria for 3 weeks."

"Syria?" I exclaimed. Syria was ridiculously dangerous right now! What the fuck was he thinking? "You can't go to Syria!" I screeched before slapping my hands over my mouth. Godammit. My big mouth.

"No?" he grinned "Why not?"

"It's dangerous?" I offered lamely

"I'll be careful" he sat back and cross his arms. That fucker. He was enjoying this

"Please do."

He stared at me for a long moment before I visibly saw his eyes soften "Don't worry about me, Bella. I'll be fine."

"Lets have dinner before you leave" I blurted out. Was it me, or did I sound desperate?

"Maybe you should ask Marcus-"

"Marcus isn't my father or my Dom yet, Edward. I would really like to have dinner with you before you leave." I spoke calmly. Now I had to ask permission to have dinner with my friends? Maybe I really didn't know what I signed up for.

"You're a difficult one, you know that" And I think he's teasing by the smile on his lips "Okay. Lets do dinner."

"Make it sound like such a chore."

"I leave next wednesday" he said, ignoring my comment "When is good for you?"

"I can do Monday or Tuesday" I grinned. Why did him agreeing to have dinner with me make me so happy?

"Tuesday night it is, Ms. Swan. Where will you be taking me?"

"I believe I'll be cooking, Mr. Cullen" I stood up "I'll text you my address. 8 o' clock good for you?"

"Sounds good" he smirked "Bye Bella."

I walked out of that coffee shop feeling better than I had in weeks.

* * *

><p>"It's open!" I shouted. Fuck. I was running late already. I told Edward to be here at 8 for dinner. Dinner would take at least another 40 minutes and it was already 8:15.<p>

"You know, you really shouldn't leave your door unlocked." His amused voice floated through the kitchen as I was stirring the risotto.

"Hi Edward! I would come say hello, but I can't stop stirring this" I turned my head and shot him a smile "I'm sorry I'm running a little late."

"Anything I can do to help?" he asked

"I'm actually almost done here. The salmon is going to take a little while longer." I said, turning the heat down on the risotto and covering it with a lid "I'm really sorry, I hope you don't have an early flight tomorrow" I babbled, turning around to face him. My breath hitched in my throat when I noticed he was standing right behind me "Hi" i murmured

He let out a breathy laugh and kissed my cheek, sending tingles throughout my entire body "Hi" he mocked softly "I brought wine." he held up a bottle

"Thank you! Can you get the wine glasses down? Top shelf in the 3rd cupboard"

I checked on the salmon one last time, making sure that it was cooking properly and closed the oven again. "Edward?" I called out when I didn't see him in the kitchen

"In your living room. Is this you?" He sounded like he was laughing hysterically. Ah shit. What did he find

I made my way into the living room and groaned when I saw him clutching a very distinct pink frame in his hands "Put it down, Cullen"

"Not a chance" he grinned "Who's the nerd"

"His name is Kyle. He was my date to winter formal." I said defensively

"Your braces" he sputtered with another laugh "So proud of them"

"Should have seen my teeth before the braces"

"Here" he put down the frame and held out a filled wine glass

"Thanks" I took the glass from him "Lets...sit"

We sat across from each other. Me on the love seat and him in the large arm chair. He looked so at ease...one leg cross over the over, completely relaxed agains the leather of the chair. I cleared my throat and tried to make conversation "So, uhm, are you excited for your trip?"

"Sure" he shrugged "It'll be good to get away for a while."

God give me something here, Edward. I hate silence. Hate it.

"So, have you spoken to Marcus yet?" he rose an eyebrow, while taking a sip of wine

You're good, Cullen. "Not yet." I said shortly just as the oven beeped "Oh. Dinners ready. You can come help me"

I turned and made my way to the kitchen, inwardly rejoicing that I had dodged a potential disastrous conversation. "Here," i said, handing him the bowl of Risotto "I'll be in with the salmon in a second."

Dinner went well. We talked about everything _but_ Marcus, and for that I was grateful. He seemed to enjoy dinner. Overall, it turned out well...not my best, maybe next time.

"Oh no, Edward" I waved off when he tried to help with the dishes "It's fine. I'll just load them into the dishwasher later."

"Are you sure? I don't mind"

"Your last night in the U.S. and you want to do dishes?" I teased, putting a hand on his shoulder. Hmm, the wine must be getting to me "Lets go sit"

He looked down at my hand and then back at me with a small smirk "Alright."

"So tell me more about this program you're going with" I said, curling my legs underneath me on the couch, next to Edward. I could practically feel his warmth. I wanted to crawl into it, have his strong arms surround me-

"You've never heard of doctors without borders?" He interrupted my thoughts

"I have. But I want to know details."

"Well we're going into Syria to help the civilians that were caught up in any cross fire. We take a minimum supply of antibiotics, equipment, vaccines...anything else we think they might need. Set up camp and clinics, that sort of thing"

"That sounds really good, Edward. Do you have the military as detail or anything?" I asked, trying to keep the concern out of my voice

"Worried about me?" he grinned

"You're my friend. Of course I'm worried about you"

"No military. Don't worry. We usually never get caught in anything. People generally leave us alone."

"Oh, I have something for you." I murmured, reaching down onto the coffee table and grabbing a folder.

He took the blue file from me and stared in confusion "It's my manuscript. You said you wanted to read some of my work...It's fine if you don't." I said quickly "I won't be hurt or anything. I just thought you might like something to read while you're away and-" A gentle hand on mine cut me off

"Stop" he laughed softly "Stop freaking out. Take a breath, Bella"

"Sorry" I muttered, feeling my cheeks burn

"I would love to read it. Thank you." He said sincerely, green eyes searching mine. "What's it about?"

"Just about some life experiences. I can't really explain it. It needs a lot of work. I thought maybe you could help?"

"I'll read it while I'm away." he said softly

"You'll be the first" I smiled nervously "I'm nervous."

"I remember you saying that once." he smirked

"Oh god, Edward!" I huffed, knowing he was referring to our scene.

"Sorry" he conceded, putting his hands up defensively. "I better go. I haven't packed and I have an early flight" he stood up

I felt a twinge of sadness creep in. 3 weeks without Edward. I followed suit, walking him to the door "Edward" I said before he could open it

He turned to face me and smiled "You're an open book, Bella. Please don't worry about me"

Before I knew what I was doing, I took a step towards him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Closing my eyes and savoring this moment. His arms came around me after a beat and hugged me back tightly "I'll be fine."

"I know" I nodded against his shoulder "Just be careful, okay?"

"Thanks for dinner. It was wonderful." His hand rubbed my back gently before pulling away "You can cook me a welcome home meal" he grinned

"Count on it" I whispered "Good luck, Edward."

* * *

><p>AN: The more I dabble in this, the more I really do think I need a beta. Anyone know of a good place to get one?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Another phone call? This was beginning to be a little much. "Hello" I answer as nicely as I can. I was unable to completely disguise the annoyance in my voice.

"_Isabella_" _Marcus__'__s __smooth __voice __comes __through __the __line.__ "__It__'__s__Marcus.__"_

Yes. I'm aware it's you, Marcus. This is your 5th phone call in the past 2 hours. What the fuck is he playing at? "Hi, how are you?"

"_It's midnight, Isabella" he says like I was a half-wit that can't tell time "Why are you still awake"?_

"Marcus" I sigh quietly "Same answer as last time you called. I'm working; I have a ton of scripts to read." Was that rude?

Well...calling 5 times past the hour of 10 is kind of rude too, I thought to myself.

"_And what time are you meeting with your editor tomorrow morning?" he asked._

What the fuck does that have to do with anything? "8:30" I respond wearily. Maybe Edward was right...I seriously needed to discuss my limits and expectations with Marcus, soon.

"_Ah 8:30" he says calmly "So...even if you go to bed now, you still won't get more than... 7 hours of sleep?"_

"7 hours is plenty, Marcus. I'd really like to get back to work now if you don't mind. I'll call you tomorrow?" I say desperately.

"_Sure Isabella. I'll speak with you tomorrow. Good luck on your meeting." and he hangs up._

Finally, some peace and quiet.

* * *

><p>"Hey Heidi" I smile "Is Zaf around?"<p>

"Yeah, she's in her office. Please tell me if you're going on your lunch. I'm dying to get away from this headset for a while" She groans.

"Well it just so happens…"

"Isabella?"

Shit. Fuck me. I knew this would happen. I turn slowly and plaster a smile onto my lips "Hey Marcus...what a surprise"!

He smiles and kisses my cheek before greeting Heidi "What are you doing here?"

"Meeting Zafrina and Heidi for lunch." I shrug, why did that feel like a loaded question? "What are you doing here?"

"Helping out an old friend..." he says, eyeing me with care. "I never heard from you after your interview. How'd that go?"

That was definitely a jab. "Sorry, I barely had time to get over here, the interview was great, it went until 11:30 and I had plans with Zafrina at 12, so I'm actually a little late" Am I babbling?

"We were just going. Did you need anything from me before we go Marcus?" God. Bless. Heidi.

He shakes his head "You ladies have a good time; and Isabella, call me when you have some time, okay?"

"Sure thing, Marcus". I said reassuringly.

I wait for Heidi as she walks around her desk and links arms with me "You better start talking." She whispers, tugging me along to Zaf's office.

"Trust me. It's complicated".

"Bella!" She sighs and opens the door without knocking.

"Heidi!" I admonish "Zaf I'm so sorry we didn't knock" I glare at Heidi.

She rolls her eyes and waves us off "Ready for lunch?"

"Before lunch, Bella has something to tell us" Heidi grins at me. I want to punch the smile off her mouth "Seriously, spill."

"There's nothing to spill!" I groan in annoyance. I don't want to talk about this right now. I miss Edward. Marcus is starting to really get on my nerves. And I have a ton of work to do. Is a lunch with my friends without drama really too much to ask?

"Leave her alone, Heidi" Zafrina says finally, seeing my inner turmoil.

"I'm just- I'm trying to figure things out with Marcus, okay?" I say finally "I'm so lost with him."

Heidi's eyes soften and she nods "Fine, but please talk to us if you need to".

"I will. Now come on. I'm starving."

* * *

><p>This is normal right? I mean...this is what I wanted. I wanted this type of relationship. No... I want. I still want it, but do I really want it with Marcus?<p>

Maybe a minute to think about things wasn't a good idea. I feel like I'm trying to convince myself. But what the fuck do I know?

Edward is gone.

Edward isn't into you.

Marcus is here.

Marcus wants you.

It was a simple equation really. So...why does it feel so wrong?

"Hey Bella" Marcus's voice came through my thoughts. I looked up and forced a smile as he kissed my cheek.

"Hey Marcus".

He takes the seat across from me just as the waitress comes over "What can I get for you today?" Asks the pretty blonde who has striking blue eyes, and the most perfect curvy figure... I looked like a teenage boy compared to her.

"We'll have 2 cappuccinos please" Marcus said.

Wait did he just order for me? And a cappuccino? "Sorry, can you make that one cappuccino? I'd like an espresso" I said, watching his reaction closely.

His mouth set in a hard line at my order change. Well...I don't like cappuccinos!

Before he could comment "We need to talk, Marcus" I said calmly, completely betraying what I was feeling inside at the moment.

"It appears so."

"I don't quite know how to do this." I start "But...Edward said we should go over-"

"Edward?" he asked, raising a single eyebrow "You've talked to Edward about us?"

"I needed perspective." I defended "I've never done this before, Marcus! I'm scared! I'm lost...I don't know how to proceed".

"And you didn't think to talk to me about it? Rather than going to _him_" he hissed in annoyance.

"You're right; I shouldn't have had to go to Edward for help, but you've done this before why haven't you addressed expectations before now?" I hiss back at him.

He looks taken aback for a moment, and just like that, he recovers. "You're absolutely right" he says after a few beats "I had planned on taking care of business today" He reaches into his bag and pulls out a stack of papers.

Shit.

"This is a contract. Just a basic one, it can be modified however we see fit. But I'm not entirely sure you're ready now that I've found out you've been talking to other Doms about your issues and concerns, instead of coming to me."

Jesus, why is he so worked up about this?

"I'm sorry I went to him. But if it makes you feel any better, I've talked to Zafrina about us as well. She thinks we need a trial period".

He took a deep breath and nodded, motioning for me to go on.

"We haven't discussed what you're looking for at all. But ... I know I'm not looking to be in a 24/7 submissive relationship. I want to be _us_ as well. I want to get to know you...to potentially..." I trail off, a blush coloring my cheeks.

"Date me?" he finishes with a small smile.

I nod and let out a breathy laugh "Yes."

"So, weekends then?" he says in question. I can't tell if this is what he wants or not.

Hmm, so he can be reasonable, and I thought this was going to be a lost cause. Or did I wish it was?

"Yes. Weekends would be ideal"

"I want that too, Bella" he says "but I will warn you. I'm a jealous man..." he smirks.

I cock my head to the side "Why would you have to worry about that?"

His eyebrows shoot up "You really don't see yourself clearly, do you?"

Why does everyone say that! "I don't understand"?

"I know" he sighs, "Okay Bella. Why don't we...try out a weekend? This weekend, you'll come to my house and be my submissive. And during the week...we'll be us. We'll work on building our relationship. In the meantime, can you fill these out for me? It's just a list of your hard/soft limits. And anything else you think would be important to inform me of before we start sceneing"

It sounds so reasonable. "That sounds good" I say softly, and just then, our drinks arrive.

I see Marcus's eyes wander over to our waitress; they linger over her perfect perky breasts that are stunningly displayed with her low cut V-neck. This does not bode well for our future. I'm getting a little worried about him…

Fuck. I miss the shit out of Edward.

* * *

><p>I sighed, setting my keys, wallet and iPhone on the table before picking up the stack of mail I had yet to look through.<p>

Bills...bills...more…bills...junk mail...Edward...bills...EDWARD?

I gasp, ripping it from the pile and practically tearing it in half in my attempt to open the simple white envelope. I pull the single sheet of paper out, adorned with his physician's scribbled handwriting that's _just_ legible.

_Bella, _

_First __off, __can __I __thank __you __for__giving __me __some __amazing __reading __material? __I __may __be __biased __since __I__'__m __eager __to __know __everything __I __can __about __you , __but __seriously, __you __have __a __gift. __It__'__s __ridiculously __dull __out __here , __especially __at __night __when __everyone __else __is __asleep __and __my __insomnia __kicks __in. __I__'__m __almost __halfway __through __your __manuscript, __and __while __it __needs __work, __it__'__s __a __great __start. __And __I __do __mean __great__. __Your __view __of __reality __and __life __astound __me. __The __perspective __and __depth __you __go __into...I__'__ve __truly __never __read __anything __like __it. __And __that __is __completely __unbiased! __Do __you __know __how __hard __that __is __to __accomplish?_

_It's like I'm unraveling pieces of your life, page by page. The way you describe everything...the world, you go into such detail. I feel like I'm standing there myself. _

_But can I give you some advice? _

_Focus on yourself. Forget about the rest of the world. Forget about everyone and everything else for a minute. And ... tell us more about you. The way you perceive things, not the way people want you to perceive them. _

_I__look__forward__to__finishing.__Sincerely._

_Actually, I've written a few things myself...maybe we can discuss them when I get back? I'd love your input._

_So I assume you'd like to know how I'm doing now. _

I let out a soft laugh, and picture him smirking as he wrote that

_Well, to answer your question. I'm fine. Really, I am. The work I'm doing out here is strangely more fulfilling than anything I've ever done before. And the local culture is just wonderful...very accepting. _

_I hope you're well, Bella. I hope you're happy and things are working out for you. You deserve to be happy. _

_See you in a couple weeks. I'll be expecting that welcome home dinner. _

_Yours,_

_Edward Cullen_

I sniffled and wiped a single tear from my cheek before holding the letter close to my chest. He liked it. He liked my manuscript. He was okay. He was alive.

I desperately wish I could call him...hear his voice; ask him what the hell I should do! I feel so lost and conflicted. I need advice...I need to hear a voice of reason.

He sent me a letter.

I laughed softly and set the letter back inside the envelope. For the first time in weeks, I felt a genuine, giddy smile take over my lips

He wrote to me.

* * *

><p>Another checklist. Can't he just use the one I filled out for the club? I quickly fill it out, same as last time. Marking "hard" for the obvious ones….<em>Fisting,<em>_Water__sports,__whipping,__caning__…__etc._

And then come to the "_Any __other __important __information __you __think __I __should __be __aware __of __before __we __go __into __the __playroom__"_

I think and think…I don't believe there's anything I need to tell him before we start to scene? What the hell was I supposed to put there? My phobias? My past experiences? How would any of that be important…I mean unless he was planning on bringing snakes into the playroom to torture me with. In which case…PSYCHO!

Setting my pen down, I lean back against the soft leather of my chair and sigh. I need to talk to someone. I picked up my phone.

"_Hey Bella"_

"Hey Zafrina" I mumble into the phone, groaning when I see the time. 10pm already? Dammit! "Oh god, I'm sorry to call so late!"

"_Don't worry about it. We're just watching some TV. What's up? Is everything okay?"_

"Yeah it's fine…it's just- I'm filling out some paperwork. For Marcus."

"_What kind of paperwork, checklists and such?" She asks "Hold on honey. I need to take this" she says to her husband._

"Sorry to take you away."

"_Stop it and I told you to call if you needed to!" She exclaims "So, you said you're filling out paperwork for Marcus. Are you planning to start a trial period with him soon?"_

"Yeah this weekend, "I- I" was cut off by Chris on the other end.

"_Who is that?" I hear him ask "It's Bella!" Zafrina hisses "Can you please just give us a minute!" She sounds exasperated._

"_Babe…Marcus was in one of the playrooms at the club on Monday. And I'm going to go ahead and assume it wasn't with Bella, cause if it was, we need to have a serious talk since she's just now doing the paperwork."_

"_Of course it wasn't Bella!" She exclaims "Bella and I had lunch with Heidi on Monday."_

"Excuse me!" I sputter "Marcus was at the club doing a scene with someone Monday?" Oh. Hell. No. And he was trying to give me shit for not calling him that day? This is not what I signed up for.

"_When did you meet with him to discuss all of this?" she asks._

"Yesterday afternoon. We had coffee." I say, suddenly very angry. Who does he think he is? I made it very clear that I want to get to know him. To be monogamous!

"_You need to talk to him." She states "Ask him why he wouldn't tell you that he was with another woman at the club that day. Especially when you ran into each other! What an ass!"_

"_Zafrina!" Chris admonishes seriously._

"_Oh come off it, Chris. You know it's true. He's deliberately playing mind games. Not to mention, Heidi should have been informed. She's supposed to know about any and all activity going on in the club. He's breaching protocol and you know it."_

"Will you guys stop fighting because of me?" I huff.

_She__laughs__on__the__other__end__ "__Oh __honey, __this __isn__'__t __a __fight. __You __should __have __come __over __last __weekend __if __you __wanted __one __of __those.__" _She said trying to lighten the conversation_._

"I'm sorry. I need to call Marcus and see what's going on. This isn't normal right? I mean…I'm not just being paranoid or unreasonable?"

"_No Bella" her voice softens "You're being cautious, and this isn't normal. He should have told you what he was doing at the club that day. Don't second guess yourself just because you're new to the lifestyle. That's how you get into trouble. Talk to him. Figure out what's going on. And call me back, okay?"_

"Right now?" I ask incredulously, it was already 10!

"_Yes right now. And call me back after. I don't care how late it is."_

"But Zaf…it's 10"

"_Now! Bella." She demands._

A small smile pulls at my lips "Are you sure you're the submissive one?"

"_I__'__m __hanging __up __now. __If __I __don__'__t __hear __from __you __in __an __hour, __don__'__t __be __surprised __if __I__'__m __at __your __apartment.__" _She says before hanging up.

Bitch.

I quickly dial Marcus's number, before I lose my nerve and anger. I can never stay angry for very long…

"_Bella?"_

"Hello Marcus" I say calmly "Is this a good time?" Hmm…that was pretty damn good!

"_Good as any." He says easily "What can I do for you?"_

"Why didn't you tell me you were with another submissive on Monday" I blurt out in anger. Shit. That's not how I wanted to say it!

_Silence. For at least a minute. "We hadn't signed a contract much less discussed one, Bella." He answers after a few moments "I had no obligation…"_

"Let me get this straight. You had no obligation to me, yet you were pestering me about how much sleep I was going to be getting the night before?" I ask seriously "Do you understand how much of a double standard that is? I thought we were trying to build up a trusting relationship…"

"_Please __don__'__t __be __upset, __Bella__" _he pleads_ "__It __wasn__'__t __anything. __I __was __helping __an __old __submissive __train. __That__'__s __all. __She __asked __me __as __a __favor.__"_

I take his words in, and they do nothing to calm me. I'm pissed. I don't trust him right now. "I don't think this weekend is a good idea, Marcus" I say quietly.

"_Because __I __trained __with __another __sub __before __we __even __reached __an __agreement?__" _He asks in disbelief.

"No. Because I don't think we know each other well enough. If you knew me, you would know that what you did would never have been okay with me." I can't believe the words that are coming out of my mouth. Where did this strength come from? "I think we should…get to know each other first. Then when we trust and understand each other more, we can proceed into the playroom."

"_So __you __don__'__t __want __to __come __to __my __house __as __my __submissive __this __weekend?__" _He states in question.

"No. I'd like for you to take me out to dinner. A date. I want to know you before I commit to anything, Marcus. You seriously undermined any trust I had in you because of this."

"_Can I ask you one thing?"_

"Sure."

"_How did you find out?"_

That's what he was worried about? Seriously? "Does it really matter?" I ask softly "Look…I'm not saying it's out of the question. I like you. I'd like to…build a foundation before we jump into anything. Am I not worth that?"

"_Of __course __you __are__" _he sighs quietly_ "__Okay __Bella. __We__'__ll __do __this __your __way. __I__'__ll __pick __you __up __for __dinner __on __Friday __at __8. __Is __that __good __for __you?__"_

"That sounds great" I manage a small smile "Thanks, Marcus." Though I'm not sure he really does understand my feelings.

"_I__'__m __sorry, __Bella.__" _He says, sounding sincere.

"It's okay." I whisper "I'll see you on Friday. Bye."

* * *

><p>AN: First off, HUGE thanks to my wonderful beta aabcarr!

I hate writing filler chapters, I have absolutely no motivation to do them and it takes a lot out of me. Usually they completely suck. But rest assured, just a few more! Please let me know what you think

Hope you guys like it 3

I noticed after posting that a lot was wrong with the spacing of the story! Fixed that and added the breaks. Sorry for the confusion!


	5. Chapter 5

I sigh and continue to stare at myself in the long mirror. I'm wearing a black flowy dress this evening, it hits mid thigh and has a subtle lace border. The neckline is just low enough to show a little cleavage. It wasn't my best look. Hell…It wasn't even my best dress.

I can't bring myself to care.

I care about what Marcus thinks of me….but I can't bring myself to put any more effort into it than…this. Maybe it's because I don't trust him. He was with another fucking sub! And had the gall to lecture me about not calling _him_ back.

I shook my head and let out a long breath. I vowed to let that go. I won't bring it up again…that's what I told him. I had forgiven him already; therefore, I had no right to be angry about it anymore.

Like clockwork, the doorbell rang at exactly 8. Toeing into my heels, I quickly made my way and opened it, finding a very well dressed Marcus on the other side. He was wearing a perfectly tailored black suit, with a crisp red shirt and classic tie. Very handsome, but I couldn't stop myself from thinking that Edward would look better. I have to stop obsessing about Edward.

"Hello, Bella" he smiles, leaning forward and kissing my cheek.

"Hey Marcus" I managed to smile back.

"You look wonderful" he says softly, his eyes quickly scanning me from head to toe. His eyes shining with an unknown emotion.

I clear my throat as a blush takes over my cheeks "You look good too."

"You ready to go?" he asks.

"Sure. Let me get my purse." I grab my black leather clutch from the side table and follow him back out the door, pausing and taking a breath after the door is locked.

Show time.

* * *

><p>"I hope you like the food here, Bella". He says as we are seated at a somewhat private round table. "Mona Lisa is one of my favorite restaurants".<p>

"I love Italian food, I'm sure it will be great."

"Are you still terribly angry with me?" He asks, and I look up at him. His eyes genuinely show remorse.

"Of course not, Marcus" I whisper "I've forgiven you. I'm sorry if I'm not good company tonight. Truth is…I'm nervous" Oh god. Word vomit. I should have said _Truth is….I don't really give two shits about tonight. I miss Edward. I would rather be having dinner with him._

Good thing Marcus didn't seem to notice. I've always been completely transparent… especially when lying.

"So, when does Edward come back?"

Shit. Maybe he had noticed. I didn't say that out loud did I? "Uhm" I stutter, picking up the chilled glass of water in front of me "I'm not sure. Why do you ask?"

He shrugs "Just curious. I know you two got to be good friends before he left".

"He said he'd be gone for a few weeks" I mutter back.

This is going to be a long dinner….

* * *

><p>"So how often do you work, Bella" He asks just as our dinner comes out.<p>

"Well, luckily I can do most of my work from home. Unless I need to meet with an editor or publisher, but I try and get some good reading done every day." I answer easily. The conversation has been so bland… so boring. I'm starting to feel sleepy already.

"The risotto looks incredible," I say, not knowing where else to steer the direction of the conversation "How is your work going, actually _what_ exactly is your line of work?" I laugh, "I have no idea what you do".

"I'm an investment banker…just a plain old businessman." He answered with a chuckle "Nothing exciting."

"Nonsense," I waive off. "You must be pretty successful?"

"I suppose I am."

"So how did you get…started in all of this?" I mumble the last part out.

His lips turn up into an amused smile. "In all of what, Isabella?"

Is he smirking now? Damn, he really does get a kick out of seeing me embarrassed, "you know…" I groan "Marcus!"

He sits back in his chair and laughs "Actually…my uncle is a dom. I _might_ have stumbled onto something when I was using his computer… at the age of 19," he explains. "I was intrigued…did some research on my own and joined a few clubs. It was a weird experience for me."

"Did your uncle ever find out?" I ask. How fucking weird. How weird that your _uncle_ introduced you to this lifestyle.

"He knows I'm a Dom now. I told him a few years back." He shrugs "It didn't turn out to be a big a deal, as I expected; he didn't seem surprised".

"You've had an interesting introduction" I laugh softly.

"What about you, Bella. What made you join 'Edges'"?

"I don't know…I've just had fantasies," I say quietly, certain that I was blushing crimson; "And…I did my fair share of research online. I've been dabbling for years…and this year, I finally had the balls to pursue my interests."

"Are you sorry you did?" he asks.

"No" I answer firmly "No. absolutely not. I've learned so much these past few months. About myself… about life; It's been an eye-opening experience."

"I know what you mean. You discover a lot about who you are."

"Exactly."

* * *

><p>"I had a wonderful evening, Bella" Marcus whispers as he presses his body against mine. My back pressed against my door, I could feel the heat coming off of his body with how close he was. Just a millimeter apart.<p>

"Me too" I say softly. And the truth is…it wasn't _that_ bad.

He slips a single finger under my chin and forces me to look up at him. His lips are turned up into a small smile. "Would you do it again?" he asks.

"Yes" I murmur and watch as he leans down. I close my eyes when his lips brush mine in a soft kiss.

"Goodnight, Bella" he grins, pulling back "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

I nod "Thank you for a great evening Marcus."

He picks up my right hand and kisses the top, never taking his eyes off of me "Anytime".

* * *

><p>Another week has gone by. Marcus and I are taking things slow. A few dates here and there, lunch…dinner. It hasn't been that bad.<p>

Edward comes back tomorrow.

Would he still want to do dinner? Would Marcus be upset? He was so bent out of shape when I had mentioned that Edward gave me insight on our situation. I wonder how he will feel about me having dinner with another Dom?

"Bella!" An exasperated voice penetrated my thoughts

I shook my head and snapped out of it, turning my attention back to Rose who was waving a hand in front of my face, an annoyed frown on her lips "What has gotten into you!" She exclaims "You've been somewhere else all night, I thought we agreed to have a drink and catch up!"

"I'm sorry Rose" I groan apologetically "I just have a lot on my mind. What were you saying now?"

"I have a new client, I'm meeting with her on Friday" She says, her eyes hold worry. That's new…Rose is never worried "This is a big one, Bella. This one needs to be perfect."

"You're worried?" I ask in amusement "Rose…you're the best interior designer…seriously _the best_. This 'big' client wouldn't hire you if that weren't true…I mean they had to have liked your earlier work. Don't be nervous."

"Thanks Bella" She says softly "I'm redesigning a fucking mansion though; 16 bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, a library, 4 studies, 2 formal living rooms, a family room, a game room, and 2 dining rooms. And probably some other random shit I can't remember!"

"Holy shit" I exclaim. "_16 bedrooms?"_

"I know" she huffs.

"You can do it. This will keep your mind off of fuck-face for a while" I grin.

"I love you, Bella." She laughs happily "Come on. Let's shop".

"I hate shopping, Rose" I groan because I really do.

"Jesus Bella. Not everything is about you" she says in amusement while pulling me up from my chair, "I meant house shopping. You love shopping for everyone but yourself. It's like a dream come true for you."

* * *

><p>"Hello"<p>

"_Hey Bella" _No way. No fucking way.

I squeal loudly before I realize I'm doing it, "Uhm" I clear my throat as I hear his chuckle "Sorry. Hey Edward!"

"_How are you?" _He asks.

"I'm good" I say in soft sincerity "How are you! How was your trip!" Edward is back. Edward is back and calling me. I feel giddy…excited…bubbly. _Happy!_

"_Everything went as planned" he responded, "I'm sorry if I'm calling too late. I didn't realize what time it was. Damn jetlag."_

"Oh no" I shake my head. _You can call me anytime…seriously. Anytime._ "I was just reading a few things."

"_How's my staff, have you been keeping them sane for me?" _I can hear the smile in his voice. God I missed his voice…

"Just the important ones" I laugh back "I believe I still owe _you _a sanity dinner, Mr. Cullen".

He scoffs _"I've always been sane, Ms. Swan. I believe it was a Welcome Home dinner"._

"Call it what you want. When is it happening?" I can't even believe the words that are coming out of my mouth right now. How did he do this to me?

"_Well, I'm free for the next 3 days. Whenever is good for you." _

"Tomorrow night?" I ask, hoping I don't sound too desperate.

"_Tomorrow night sounds great. It's good to be back, Bella."_ What is that in his tone?

"It's good to have you back, Edward. Really" I say sincerely "I look forward to tomorrow."

"_Me too. Goodnight" he says softly and hangs up._

"Night" I whisper to no one in particular and drop my head, a smile taking over my lips.

Edward is back.

* * *

><p>"Hey Marcus" Ugh. I have to get it over with. He'll be angry…but does it matter? Am I not allowed to have a simple dinner with my friend?<p>

"_Bella!" _He says happily, making me feel even more guilty _"How are you, beautiful?"_

"I'm good" I answer, cringing "Do you have a minute?"

"_Always for you."_

"Edward is back, I'm not sure if you knew that already or not. But I kind of promised him a welcome home dinner before he left. I've invited him over for that tonight" I sound like a bumbling idiot. "Don't read anything into it, Marcus. Edward is a good friend…and I'd like to catch up with him. It's purely platonic".

There's a long pause on the other end, and I close my eyes. Preparing myself for the fight that I thought was coming _"Okay" he says finally "I hope you two have a good dinner"_ weird. He doesn't sound angry… maybe a little irritated or impatient. But I was prepared for a lot more… resistance.

"Thank you Marcus. Honestly…we're just friends" I placated.

"_I trust you" _He says _"I have to get back to work. Call me later?"_

I smile, feeling a lot happier about this now "Of course. Bye Marcus, I hope the rest of your day is good".

* * *

><p>"Ah!" I involuntarily screech at the sound of my doorbell. Jesus. I need to calm it down.<p>

Turning down the stove, I do one more quick glance in the mirror before opening the door. And what's on the other side makes my mouth go dry.

Edward.

Edward is leaning against my door frame holding a bottle of wine, his trademark smirk planted on his lips. He looks so at ease…so carefree. He looks beautiful. Hot as fuck in his black trousers and black sweater. His copper hair mussed to perfection.

"Are you going to invite me in, or is this as far as I go?" He grins in amusement, breaking me from my trance.

I'm certain that I blush fiercely "Sorry" I whisper and pull him into a hug "Welcome back, Edward".

His arms come around me and squeeze me tight for a second. I relish the feeling of being in his arms. So warm…caring. "Thanks, Bella" he says, pulling back and handing me the bottle of wine.

"Oh you shouldn't have."

"I did" he shrugs "You look well" he says, appraising me up and down.

I opted for simple today; my black skinnies and a gray tank top. "Thanks".

"Do you need any help in the kitchen?" he asks as I close the door and lock it.

"Sure" I smile. "You open this, and I'll finish dinner. It's just about ready anyway".

Everything was so simple and comfortable with him.

* * *

><p>"This all looks amazing, Bella. How long did it take you!" he exclaims just as I put down the last plate on the table.<p>

I take a seat and he sits across from me "Not too long. It's Braised Beef tortellini with roasted potatoes. I hope you like it".

He cocks an eyebrow at me "Braised beef didn't take _too_ long to make?" He counters skeptically "I find that hard to believe."

"I enjoy cooking, Edward." I roll my eyes. Couldn't he just say thank you and get on with it? "Especially when I'm not just making it for myself".

"Oh my god" he groans, and I have to hold one back. The sound goes straight to my core as I watch him. "This is incredible."

Fuck why is he so hot.

"Thanks, but forget about the food; tell me about Syria" I ask in excitement.

"It was a great experience. Though…I think I'll stay out of missionary work for a couple years" he laughs softly "Syria…was a humbling experience. The devastation and poverty you see there…nothing compares."

Shit. I've made him sad. I see a glazed expressed take over his eyes and he looks so deep in thought…like he's remembering something unpleasant. "Edward" I bring him back; "The work you did there…that must have been so worth it. So gratifying, no?"

"It really was." He smiles. And I have him back. "I felt fulfilled. I haven't felt that way in a long time."

"What was it like? Did they set you up in a hospital or … "

"No hospital. We were out in the desert. Helping anyone who was wounded in crossfire. Our supplies were less than limited, and I think the coolest it got was around 98 degrees? Usually it was about 105" he said making me choke on my tortellini.

"_105?"_ I gasp out.

"Yeah I know" he lets out a long breath; "basically hell on earth."

"They set up tents for us. With about 10 cots, some supplies, that sort of thing."

"Sounds intense."

"It was intense" his eyes shine back at me. "It was also too fucking hot to sleep. So, your manuscript came in quite handy."

"Oh god" I groan with a short laugh; "Don't tell me you have it with you?"

"I have to give it back?" He grins "I don't think so, Ms. Swan. I believe it will be worth millions when you're published."

I scoff. What a joke. "You're probably holding onto nothing."

"I meant what I said. I think you write beautifully." He says sincerely, making me look down at my plate "don't give up on it just yet".

"I'm not" I sigh "I'm just stuck. I've read it over and over so many times that I can't stand to look at it anymore. I think I just need a break…some time." I say with a small groan. "Which is also why I wanted you to read it. Give me some unbiased insight…don't be nice, Edward. What did you really think of it?"

"I've told you what I really think of it." He says easily "It needs work. But it has a solid foundation. Whether it comes out next month or 12 years from now…I know it's going to be good. Because I know you well enough to know that you'd never put anything out there without making sure it's 100 percent".

"Really?" I whisper. Jesus. No one has ever- well, I've never let anyone read my work before. Except Rose, but…never the entire thing; just snippets here and there. Besides, Rose is my best friend; she had to be nice. "Thank you, Edward."

His head tilts to one side and he smiles while taking a sip of the wine "It was my pleasure, Bella. I hope to read more one day."

"You'll be the first to know when I start working again" I grin.

Just then, my phone starts buzzing in my pocket. "Excuse me" I mutter to Edward and fish it out.

_Marcus_ was flashing on the screen and I hit ignore before turning my attention back to Edward again. "Sorry where were-"

Really? Is he REALLY calling the house phone now? I groan and apologize to the gorgeous man sitting across from me.

"_Bella, it's Marcus. You must still be at dinner. I hope you're having a good time, call me when you're back. Bye"._

Shit. Why didn't I just pick up?

I slowly sit back down again, avoiding eye contact with Edward. Damn this is awkward.

"So, you and Marcus are doing well, I presume?" he asks quietly.

I take a deep breath and look up at him. His face is blank; he's not giving anything away. "We're…taking things slow." I say hesitantly. Should I tell him about the incident? Heidi will anyways… "There was kind of an incident last week".

And just like that, he sits up straighter. His interest is piqued "Oh?"

"I went over to the club to have lunch with Zafrina, and bumped into Marcus. He had just been in one of the rooms…with a girl." I cringe at my inability to say 'submissive' "The problem was…Heidi was never informed. No one knew that he was even at the club."

Edward's mouth was set in a hard line at this point. Shit. Is he mad? "How did you find out?"

"Chris told me when I was on the phone with Zafrina… I was calling her to get some advice on the paperwork and all that. I didn't know he had been with someone else."

"So you two haven't done a scene yet?" he says.

"No" I shake my head "I told him we needed to slow it down after that. I couldn't trust him. Especially after he was so bent out of shape about my sleep schedule earlier that week" I muttered in annoyance "Who the hell does he think he is…He was lecturing me on getting more sleep while he was fucking another girl."

"You're a feisty one, aren't you" Edward grinned, making me let go of my anger with a laugh.

"Sorry" I huff "Anyways. I told him we could try and date."

"You realize I'll need to take care of this once I get back to the club" he says in question "Don't you?"

"Of course I do. I figured you'd hear about it from Heidi anyways. Would you rather I didn't tell you?"

"I'm glad you told me, Bella" he smiles gently "Thank you."

* * *

><p>Dinner was wonderful. It went perfectly. After I told Edward about Marcus, he was a little off but who could blame him. I'd be pissed too.<p>

After Edward left, I called Marcus back. He was pleasant…just listened as I talked about my day and work… So when he asked me to come to his house for a movie night in, I couldn't say no. Besides, it was just a movie.

I laughed, looking down at myself. Black sweatpants and a black hoodie adorned my body…he said casual. This is about as casual as I get. I slipped my cell phone into the pocket of my sweats and zipped it shut. I loved these pants…they were so perfect for running.

Finally the door clicks open "Hey beautiful" he smiles, pecking me on the lips "Sorry to keep you waiting; come in".

I step into the grand house and look around in awe. I'm standing in a rather large foyer, expensive art adorns the walls and a crystal chandelier is poised above us. It's all very over the top if you ask me…but that didn't mean it wasn't beautiful.

"You have a beautiful house, Marcus" I smile.

"Thank you, I'll show you more of it later. Shall we?"

I take his offered hand and follow as he leads me through the house. We enter into a large living room; two brown leather couches sit on top of a large afghan rug, which I'm sure cost a fortune. On the other end of the room was a _huge_ wall mounted flat screen. Hell yes. These movies were going to be awesome.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll just go get the wine" he says.

I take off my shoes and sit down on one end of the couch that's directly in front of the TV, setting my purse down on the floor.

Marcus appears minutes later and hands me a crystal glass filled with red wine "Red okay?"

"Preferred" I smile as he sits next to me.

This might just be the best date we've had.

No forced conversation.

* * *

><p>I have to say. This is the funniest movie I've seen in a long time. I haven't stopped laughing since it started.<p>

My head is clouded, foggy even… hmm, must be the wine. I steal a glance at Marcus who has his arm around my shoulders, he's staring down at me with a small smile "tired?" he asks as I yawn.

"Mmm" I hum with a grin "Yeah but this movie is hilarious". Why do I sound so drunk?

"More wine?" he asks, leaning forward and picking up the bottle.

"I need to drive home tonight" I shake my head, but…more _does_ sound good.

"I'll have someone drive you home" he offers "Come on, we're having such a good time".

"Alright fine" I groan as he fills up my glass again. I take a sip and hold it to my chest while resting my head on his shoulder. He isn't so bad…I'm starting to really- holy shit.

A realization hits me. Marcus isn't drinking his wine. And there's no way I'm feeling this good off of one glass. My head feels fuzzy….my vision starts to blur. Nothing makes sense.

"Marcus" I slur as angrily as I can, trying to lift my body away from him.

"Hmm" I can hear the smile in his voice as his arms tighten around me.

"You drugged me?"

And that's the last thing I remember.

* * *

><p>AN: Thoughts? Let me know! Review please

P.S. Thanks Aabcarr! Bomb beta 3


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

* * *

><p>"Mmmm" I groan, not wanting to wake up. I feel like Jell-O. Lethargic and tired… achy. Slowly, I blink my eyes open and immediately shut them again. They burn. I feel like I haven't slept in days, like-<p>

"_**Marcus" I slur as angrily as I can, trying to lift my body away from him.**_

"_**Hmm" I can hear the smile in his voice as his arms tighten around me.**_

"_**You drugged me?"**_

* * *

><p>I snap up into a sitting position immediately. Oh my god. I'm lying down on a massive bed, and-where the hell are my clothes! I'm completely naked. Oh-please say he didn't…<p>

God I hope he didn't.

_Doesn't…_

Tears prick my eyes and I search frantically around the room. I'm in his playroom. No, it's more like a dungeon! I'm surrounded by 4 black walls, no windows and I see a stair case leading up…must be to the main house. The rest of the room has dozens of contraptions. I see a large wire grid attached to the length of one wall, a cross, some sort of saw horse, an assortment of whips, floggers, paddles, and canes hung on display, and a bunch of other things I don't recognize. I don't like it. It doesn't look inviting or erotic… it looks like a torture chamber. I'm working really hard not to have a panic attack. I work to control my breathing.

A soft sob escapes just as the door creaks open. I pull the sheets up to my chest and watch as little by little Marcus descends down the stairs. Fuck. I can't let him know I'm scared shitless.

"Ah Isabella" he grins creepily at me "You're awake"

I can feel my body shaking in fear as he approaches; panic is trying to take hold of me, what is he going to do to me? Who- and the horror seeps in. No one knows where I am…!

I didn't bother telling Rose. I didn't bother telling _anyone_. How could I be so stupid?

"Now now, Bella" Marcus mock soothes, still walking towards me "it's not as bad as you think, please stay calm." He's reached the foot of the bed and I quickly shuffle backwards, taking the sheet with me; trying to get as far away from him as I can.

"You want this Bella. You're just too scared to let yourself have it" he spoke to me like I was an idiot. Like he needed to think for me… "So I'm going to help you. Once you've tried it, I know you will love it. I'm going to introduce you to my world. I've waited long enough for you; it's time to make you mine!"

"Please Marcus, don't…" I finally whisper, pleading with him to not do this.

He sits down on the edge of the bed "It seems I need to explain my rules to you" he says calmly. "All in due time; but for now don't ever call me by my first name in here again. This is my playroom, I expect respect from you at all times. Until you have earned the privilege of calling me Master, you will refer to me as Sir".

Oh god. This is happening. He's going to go through with it.

I can't help it. I start to cry. Tears pour down my cheeks like water from a faucet and I have to struggle to hold back my sobs.

"Don't cry, Isabella, stop worrying, relax" he murmurs, a hand reaches out to stroke my leg.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" I scream in fear. If he thinks I'm going to cooperate willingly, he's wrong.

He sighs and retracts his arm. "What did I just say, Isabella? It seems I'll just have to show you." And with that he stands up.

Fuck! What's next?

"I'll be back in 20 minutes. I expect you to be kneeling for me in front of the bed." He states seriously; "I would do as you're told pet, you wouldn't want to add to your punishment, now would you?" He's scolds me like I'm a child.

And just like that he's gone. I strip the sheet off me and stand up, groaning as my foot steps on something hard. Looking down, I see it's my zipper…the zipper from my sweatshirt!

Please tell me you didn't take my phone…god please. I pick it up and frantically search, almost screaming in relief when my pocket is still heavy with my iPhone.

It's 4:01 am. I've been here for almost 7 hours.

My fingers are moving on their own, and before I even realize what's happening, the phone is ringing.

"_Hello?"_ a sleepy voice mumbles. I freeze. I open my mouth but no sound comes out, just heavy whooshes of air _"Hello?"_ he asked again before stringing out a stream of profanities and hanging up.

Cold fear grips my chest and I redial the number quickly _"Hello?"_ he answers almost immediately this time, annoyed.

I need to speak. _"Look I don't know who-"_

"Edward" I choke out before covering my mouth to contain another sob.

"_Bella?"_ he asks _"Bella what's wrong"_ I hear the distinct shuffling of sheets.

"Edward please!" I whisper in fear. I'm so scared my voice is shaking "I'm so scared".

"_Okay Bella"_ he soothes _"I need you to calm down for a second. Where are you?"_

"He left me in the basement" I cry softly, unable to stop myself "He won't let me leave".

"_Marcus?"_ Edward asks _"How long have you been there?"_

Fuck. How long have I been here... "Since last night". I shiver as another chill runs through me "He's coming back soon. Edward he won't let me leave" I repeat as I tremble. What is he going to do to me?

"_Hey"_ He says strongly, and I had no choice but to tune into his voice _"Deep breaths Bella. I'm coming, okay? You're going to be fine"._

His words calm me slightly and I whisper a shaky "okay".

"_I need to hang up and make some calls"_ he says _"If you need anything, call my cell"._

He's hanging up? Call my cell? Is he serious?

"_Bella, do you understand?"_ he asks seriously.

"Ye-yes" I cough; just get here, Edward...please.

"_Okay sweetheart"_ his voice softens and the term of endearment warms my heart _"Don't be scared. I'm coming". I hide my phone in the pocket again in case I need it later._

* * *

><p>"Bella" Marcus's harsh voice snaps "Have you thought about your punishment?"<p>

I shake my head and close my eyes as he makes his way down the stairs once again. No. No he can't do this to me. My body shakes as panic seizes with each step he takes down the stairs.

"Ah, once again you've failed to follow my instructions, Pet" he states when he sees I'm not kneeling. "Perhaps an introduction to my whip will help" he chuckles darkly.

"Red" I whimper pleadingly. I can't do this. I need to get out of here.

"No Bella." He states and I see him walk over to his wall of implements, picking up a single tail brown whip.

"Please" I sob, not caring if I sound pathetic anymore. He's walking towards me now "RED" I scream. I thrash violently as his arm grabs mine in a tight grip. He's dragging me to the large cross on his wall and I'm fighting…but it does no good. He's too strong.

"Hush now" he snaps, quickly shackling me, face first to his cross, despite my struggles. I cry softly, my tears dripping on the hard wood against my cheek and pray that Edward is coming soon.

How could I let this happen…?

"I think 10" he says, and with no other preamble I hear the distinct whoosh before blinding pain seizes my lower back. It's like an out of body experience. A piercing sound fills the room and I wish my hands were free so I could block the sound out.

I suddenly realized that sound is coming from me. I'm just about to plead-do anything for him to stop when the doorbell rings. I'm incredibly thankful that we can hear it from down here.

"What the fuck" I hear Marcus mutter "Don't go anywhere, pet".

Eww. I hate when he calls me that.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I'm going to slaughter him. Kill him. What in the fuck does Marcus think he's doing? He left her in the fucking basement all night? This isn't safe. There is something horribly wrong.

"Caius" I say to my friend in the car "I need you to be on standby. If I give you the signal, call the police immediately".

"Of course Edward but-"

"I know, I'll explain later" I dismiss. Now is not the time.

I jump out of the car and quickly make my way to his front door. After taking a calming breath, I ring the doorbell, waiting several minutes before hearing the door click open.

"Edward?" Marcus asks in confusion. Hmm…fully clothed and not any semblance of sleep on him. Why the fuck is he up at 4am?

"Marcus" I greet coolly. Resisting the urge to beat the shit out of him.

"Is something wrong? It's nearly 4:30 in the morning" he asks, as if he's truly concerned.

"It seems Marcus…" I say in soft venom "That there's been a breach in protocol" I cock my head to the side "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

I see beads of sweat form on the fucker's brow. While he acts like he's a hard ass, Marcus is a pansy. And he's scared shitless of me.

Score.

"Sorry, not that I'm aware of".

"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to ask Isabella the same question" I raise an eyebrow, daring him to challenge me.

"She's asleep, Edward".

I'm getting tired of this bullshit. And-fuck! Is that alcohol on his breath? Cold fear grips my chest and I narrow my eyes at the bastard. "Cut the crap Marcus" I hiss, stepping inside his house.

"Get the fuck out of my house!" he exclaims angrily.

"As of right now, any reputation you had as a Dom is destroyed. I suggest you let me take Isabella and leave you to your bottle. If you want to be difficult, I have the authorities on standby".

"Ed-"

I hold a hand up, signaling for him to shut up "I have nothing more to say" I shake my head, not wanting to hear anymore "If you do, make an appointment" I snap before descending down into the basement where I could hear only the ragged breathing of a scared woman.

"Get your motherfucking hands off me unless you want a suit filed against you" I hiss when he grabs my arm in protest.

His arm drops with a huff and he stumbles back upstairs.

I close my eyes and re-open them to see Bella. She is naked and facing the cross, arms and legs shackled to it. A single red stripe adorned her lower back and her body trembled as she struggled in her too tight bonds.

"Bella" I spoke softly while approaching her slowly.

"Edward?" she startles quietly "Please help" She whispers "it hurts".

I walk more quickly now, seeing her legs straining in the awkward position they are in. Stepping up behind her, I press my chest firmly against her back before untying her arms, holding her up as she sagged against me for support. "Ah!" she gasps.

"Shh" I hush "I've got you".

I wrap one arm around her waist and bend down, quickly undoing the ropes on her legs as well "Better?" I ask softly when she groans while straightening her knees out.

"Yes." She whispers hoarsely "Thank you".

"I'm sorry, Bella" I murmur softly, a heavy weight settling over me as I hold her in my arms.

"I'm okay" She murmurs back in attempted assurance. No. You're not. I shake my head at her and shrug off my trench coat before slipping it onto her and zipping it up.

"Lets get you out of here" I say, slinging a gentle arm around her shoulders and tucking her into my side as we walked up the stairs, "He won't object" I say seriously when she tenses as we reach the top.

"How" she whispers with wide fearful eyes.

She looks so broken. So crushed. It's taking everything I have not to beat the shit out of Marcus right now. "Bella" I say softly "Do you trust me?"

"Yes" She says immediately, making me smile.

I unwrap my arm from her shoulders and held it out in front of her "Then take my hand, and let's do this together".

She pulls my coat tighter around her and places her small hand in mine "Okay" she whispers.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

"Caius" I hear Edward murmur when he sits down in the backseat with me. And it's only then that I realize there's someone else in the car. Who the fuck is that! Reaching for Edward, I grasp the front of his shirt and tug him closer.

He looks down at me momentarily in concern "Can you drive us back home, please?"

I hear some muttering before the engine turns on. Slowly my mind begins to relax…

I'm here with Edward.

Edward came for me.

I close my eyes and let my head rest on his shoulder while listening to the soothing hum of the engine.

* * *

><p>The ride is quicker than I anticipate, and before I know it, Edward is calling my name. "Bella?" My eyes remain closed and I lay still against him, not wanting to leave the comfort of his arms just yet. I don't want to think about what happened. It was silent for a moment, and I knew he was aware that I'm awake.<p>

I hear him sigh softly before gathering me more securely in his arms and lifting me out of the car.

"Sorry" I whisper into his neck. He has to be annoyed with me. I'm acting like a 3 year old.

"No sweetheart" he murmurs back "You rest. We'll talk in a minute"

I nod against his shoulder and relax against once more. Once inside the house, I hear him say a few words before we are climbing up stairs.

What am I doing? I'm not weak…I'm not this fragile little thing. Nothing happened. Marcus had taken a snap at me sure….but nothing else happened. I take a deep breath and lift my head from his shoulder just as he's opening a door.

His head snaps up to mine and my breath catches in my throat. He's so close. So beautiful. His eyes are a deep sea of emerald green, concern and worry evident in them as he takes me in "You okay?" he asks softly.

"Yeah" I whisper "I'm fine. Sorry for the hysterics. You can put me down".

To my surprise he hoists me higher in his arms and shakes his head "you're not fine" he mutters under his breath and walks us into what I now realize this is his bedroom.

His words bring tears to my eyes. I don't want to cry. I don't want to dwell on what could have happened if I hadn't managed to get a hold of Edward. "I'm sorry for ruining your night" I sob into his neck. He has to have something better to do with himself than babysit me. Women were lining up to date, scene or even talk to Edward.

He sets me down on my feet gently and pulls back "Bella" he says softly, cupping my cheeks with his warm hands and tilting my head up to his "none of this is your fault. Do you understand?" he speaks with soft seriousness.

I shake my head, another dam of tears "No" I whisper, feeling defeated. No I don't understand why this happened. Why Marcus turned so quickly. "I don't know what I did!" I cry, my tears spilling onto his fingers.

He sucks in a sharp breath and the next thing I know, I'm being crushed against his chest, hands running up and down my back as heavy sobs wrack my body "I'm sorry, Bella".

I clutch his arms like he's my lifeline. He is the only thing keeping me from slipping into a deep dark hole. I feel safe here.

He holds me for a long time, neither of us speaking.

"I'm going to run you a bath" he says softly "Are you hurt anywhere?"

I shake my head. No. Physically I'm not hurt. His fingers brush under my eyes and wipe away the last of my tears "Just a sec" He turns on the water and adjusts it to his desired temperature before pouring some sort of salt inside "Will you be okay here?"

A bath sounds like heaven right now. There's nothing I want more…but I also don't want him to leave. "Are you leaving?" I ask quietly, unable to look him in the eye.

"Just for a few minutes. I have to take care of something" he says "I'll be back soon. Don't be scared, Bella" he whispers, leaning down and pressing his warm lips to my forehead "You're safe here".

I nod and give him a sad smile. "I'll be okay".

"Good" he smiles back "use whatever you need to. I'll be back soon."

* * *

><p>The hot water laps deliciously at my skin and the aroma of sweet lavender calms my senses. The jets were pressed at just the right spots on my back. I never want to leave this tub. Edward has been gone for a good 15 minutes now…I'm beginning to worry.<p>

"Hey" His soft voice rings out, startling me "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you".

"It's okay" I say softly "Just startled me." I nervously popped a bubble in the water.

"How are you doing? Feeling better?" He came into view then, and sits down on the small ottoman next to the bath.

"Much better. Thank you, Edward" I whisper sincerely. I don't know what else to say.

"What happened last night, Bella" he asks softly, but with a firm tone "Have you guys been playing without a proper contract?"

How-"What?" I stutter, my head snapping up to his. I almost wish I hadn't. His eyes were dark…intense. Black almost.

"I could smell the alcohol on his breath today" he cocks his head to the side as he spoke calmly.

"He-We aren't sceneing. I didn't consent" I whisper in rushed nervousness.

"Please answer my question, Bella" he shook his head.

"Last night. I was so scared, Edward" I cry quietly "We were just watching a movie…and-"

"Tell me" he says; his tone a little softer now.

I shrug in defeat and let heavy sobs wrack my body. My head lolling on the cool tile.

"Shit" I hear him mumble before feeling soft fingers stroking my forehead. I open my eyes and find Edward sitting on the floor next to the tub, a pained expression on his lips "Don't cry, Bella" he pleads "I'm sorry. I just need to know".

"Why _didn't_ _you_ want me" I choke, not even believing the words that are coming out of my mouth. Oh shit. What the fuck did I just do?

I gasp, my soap covered hands flying to my mouth immediately "I'm sorry" I shake my head "I'm so sorry".

"Hush" he whispers "you need to calm down. You're making yourself sick".

I shake my head and scramble up into a kneeling position, trying to stand up "Sorry I shouldn't have—I should go" I need to get out of here. I need to leave.

"_Stop_" he stresses, gripping my shoulders.

"No" I wail loudly "I can't…I can't".

"Baby" he whispers, and that's it. I stop fighting him. My body sags down into the water again and I let it take over me.

I feel tight arms surrounding my body "Shhhhh" he murmurs, pulling me between his legs and leaning back against the tub so I'm against his chest "Let it out. I've got you"

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry for what I said earlier, that wasn't fair" I say quietly, clutching the cup of hot coffee in my hands.<p>

"Bella I- "he starts "What is it that you meant exactly?"

"I just-I thought you liked me." I whisper "I thought-Never mind. It doesn't matter" I force a smile "you're my friend; one of my best friends. Anything to have you in my life, I'll take it," I whisper.

He eyed me curiously for a minute and his expression changed to one of awe and anguish. What the- "You're in love with me" he whispers in horror.

Well that explains it. Clearly he isn't.

"Yes." I whisper back, my voice cracking. I'm tired of hiding it.

"Bella-"

"It's okay I know you don't… couldn't" I cut him off, swallowing a lump of tears in my throat "And why would you?" I laugh humorlessly, staring down at my mug.

"Stop!" he says sharply making me jump "stop with this shit. I don't want to hear you talk about yourself like that!"

"Don't you know me at all, Bella?" he asks in exasperation, fingers tugging at his already messy hair "I'm no good. I'm fucked up…I'm so fucked up" he whispers sadly.

"As your friend Edward…" I start quietly "Maybe you are fucked up. But...you're never malicious. Your hearts always in the right place…and from what I can tell, you're a great friend. A great person." Oh god. I'm about to tell him. "You're fucked up? _I'm_ fucked up" I whisper, my eyes filling with tears again "We're _all_ fucked up. I don't-"I let out a shaky breath "I was married before".

"What?" He breathed.

"I don't talk about it. I don't even consider it a real marriage." Fuck I'm really telling him this "His name was Jacob. The perfect gentleman. We dated for a year….got engaged. Married. Everything was great at first, I was so young…" I pause, shaking my head as I reminisced "A couple months into the marriage, I noticed things were going downhill" I glance up at Edward, he's listening intently "I stayed married to a man who was openly cheating on me." I say strongly "I _knew_. Hell, he'd bring them over to our home, Edward. And I stayed married to him."

"Why" he asks softly, actual confusion in his tone.

"Because I didn't believe I could do better" I whisper strongly, my hand beating on my chest. "I didn't believe I deserved any better. I know what I need to work on, Edward." I say softer now "I have major self-esteem issues. I know that. And maybe that's where these 'submissive tendencies' come from. But….I truly do admire and respect this lifestyle. If that's what I need to feel good about myself…to survive and make it through each day, then - sorry I'm rambling" I shake my head. This isn't a conversation for Edward. He isn't judging my lifestyle. "My point is… we all have skeletons in the closet. You can't let them keep you from living your life".

There. I said it. I told him. I can't bear to look at him right now. I don't want to see the pity in his eyes….or how pathetic he thinks I am.

"Do you remember when I did your test scene?" he speaks softly after a few moments.

Keeping my eyes down, I nodded, tracing the rim of my coffee mug "yes".

"I may have loved you even then…" he whispers.

What? My head snaps up to his and I gape at him in shock. What the fuck did he just say?

"I haven't been in a relationship in a long while, Bella" he starts softly "I don't know how to- I feel lost when it comes to you. And I don't like that" he admits "I like control. I like to know what I'm going into. You disarm me completely, Isabella Swan". He whispers "And it terrifies me".

Holy shit. HOLY fucking shit. My feet are moving on their own accord. I hear my chair being pushed back as I stand up and walk to his side of the table. He stares up at me, vulnerability evident in his emerald eyes. I hear him suck in a sharp breath as I lower myself into his lap, my arms loop around his neck. I hug him tightly for a long moment, resting my head on his shoulder and smile in contentment when I feel his arms finally come around me. Holding me to him.

"Say it again" I whisper against his warm skin. I need to hear it.

His lips barely graze my ear "I love you". He whispers in soft conviction.

"I love you" I whisper back, tears of joy trailing down onto his shirt.

He held me for a long while, neither of us saying anything. Just the sounds of our calmed breathing as we cherished the feeling of each other.

"I still have a lot to work through" he says after a while, hands running up and down my back.

"Me too" I whisper, pulling back so I could see his face. I smiled and laugh softly when he returned the gesture. Closing my eyes, I leaned down to kiss him, frowning when I was met by two of his fingers against my lips instead "Tell me what he did, Bella" he says softly.

"You're not even going to kiss me?" I exclaim, trying not to sound hurt.

"Please".

"We were watching a movie, I had a glass of wine… He drugged me last night. He drugged me and I played right into it" I say, closing my eyes "I woke up in the basement…"

"Edward" I whisper with a shake of my head. I feel so overwhelmed right now. I just need to be grounded. I need to stop talking about it for a second. I need-

Lips. Warm, soft lips envelope mine in a tender kiss. I sigh into his mouth as all the tension leaves me and groan when his teeth gently run across my bottom lip. And with the comfort of his lips on mine, I relax against him. My fingers run across his jaw. It's the most wonderful kiss I've ever had. Soft, warm, caring, and passionate…..all at the same time. It's perfect.

He pulls back and rests his forehead against mine "Stop thinking" he whispers, lips still dangerously close to my panting ones "I'm sorry. Let me take care of you"

* * *

><p>"I'll be down the hall, Bella. Do you need anything?" He asks.<p>

I shake my head. I don't want him to leave... and my heart constricts painfully when he shoots me a small smile before turning to make his way out "Wait!" I call out, sounding desperate even to myself. I'm tired. I hurt. And I just want to feel close to him...despite needing time to process all the emotions that were just laid out "Please don't leave me?"

His brow furrows in alarm and he comes back to me "I'm just going to the next room so you can sleep, sweetheart" he murmurs, cupping my cheek. Mm, I can't help but lean into his warmth...but rejection sets in after what he says "Please?" I whisper.

He must read the panic and alarm in my eyes because as hot tears descend down my cheeks, he shakes his head vigorously, his other hand cupping my cheek so my face was cradled in his hands "No baby, no!" He gasps, sitting down beside me on the bed "Please don't cry. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere" His thumbs run under my eyes, trying to clear the tears there.

"I'm scared." I cry desperately.

"Okay" he says after a long beat "Okay" another breath "Would you like me to stay?"

"Will you?" I whisper hopefully.

"Yes" he smiles "Lie down. Get comfortable" he says while pulling the covers up and over me. After I'm settled in, I watch as he walks around the bed and slips into bed beside me. "Sleep, Bella. You're safe here."

I don't know if it's the shit day I just had...or the emotions running through my body...or if I just didn't care anymore; but I turned onto my side and wrapped an arm around his abdomen, resting my head on his chest. "I'm sorry" I whisper quietly.

His left arm comes around my shoulders and holds me close "Don't be." he responds.

I sniffle and nod against him. I feel like a wreck. His hand comes and cups my jaw "Stop clenching your jaw" he says softly "This is more than okay, Bella."

I can't help it. My body takes over and I begin to cry softly into his shirt clad chest. "Oh sweetheart" he breathes.

"I feel like a wreck, Edward" I gasp "I-I'm so happy. I'm so happy that you're here now...and I feel stupid. How could I be so stupid? I would be lost without you. No one even knew where I was...what if something had happened to me? What if-"

"Bella" he murmured "Nothing happened." he said strongly "_Nothing_ happened. And nothing is going to happen."

"What if you hadn't answered your phone? No one would-" I shook my head. I would still be stuck in that room with Marcus. Doing god knows what to me.

"I did answer the phone, love. And I did come get you. You have to stop dwelling on what could have happened. The important thing is that you're safe now."

I took deep calming breaths and focused on his warmth, his security. The steady beat of his heart and that he said he loves me.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for all the great reviews guys :) And as always, thanks to aabcarr (my awesome beta)

Let me know what you're thinking!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

* * *

><p>"Morning" I hear as I'm still blinking my eyes open.<p>

I bite back a yawn as the sleep leaves my vision. Edward is fully dressed, sitting next to me on the bed, legs outstretched and a laptop on his thighs.

"Morning" I mumble. Then sit up with a start; panicking. Shit! How long has he been here?

I see him cock his head to one side, "This thing with Marcus has really scared you, hmm?"

That's unexpected. Well…yes it has scared me. Scared the shit out of me. "Why, how do you know?" I whisper.

"You talk in your sleep" he frowns and I close my eyes when he reaches down, gently sweeping some hair off my forehead. It's such a sweet gesture…I wonder if he even knows he's doing it.

"What time is it?"

"Just past 12" He answers, and I have to fight back a gasp. Immediately I sit up again.

"Why didn't you wake me! You must have so much work to do! Why aren't you at work?"

I huff in annoyance when I see he's fighting to hold back a fit of laughter. He has a hand firmly planted over his mouth and his chest is shaking. His eyes shining at me, holy hell… he's gorgeous. His eyes crinkle at the corners, I've never seen him so happy before, and I can't help but smile back. "Stop laughing at me!" I threaten half-heartedly.

He takes his hand away from his lips, still smirking, and picks up his laptop setting it down on the bed. And the next thing I know, he's tugged me over onto his lap so I'm straddling his legs "You're cute when you're flustered" he grins.

"Edward!" I exclaim in embarrassment. Oh my god!

"Bella!" he mocks.

"You're happy today" I note, trying to get the attention off of myself.

"Well, I just gained a beautiful girlfriend. Why wouldn't I be happy?" He smirks.

Holy Shit. My heart does summersaults at his words.

And he says he doesn't know how to be in a relationship… pshh.

"Careful Cullen, I'll be expecting this treatment everyday".

"That can be arranged" he laughs and kisses me softly. "I'm glad you're awake. I thought you'd never get up".

"Bored?"

"Hardly" he shakes his head, "your snoring was getting quite irritating to listen to".

I smack his shoulder "I do not snore!"

"No. You don't" he concedes "Though I wish you did. I had to check to make sure you were alive several times. How do you sleep in one position all night"?

I shrug, not aware that I did that. "I need to get up. And go home." I sigh "You must have work to do".

"Took a vacation day" he shrugs. "You don't have to leave. In fact, I prefer you don't."

"You shouldn't have taken a day off" I mumble feeling horrible that I made him miss work.

"I wanted to" His finger trails down my cheek gently "Besides, we should talk".

I groaned making him smile knowingly "I know you hate it. I need to know exactly what happened. He drugged you, so I insist on filing a police report." He says seriously.

"Why!" I screech in surprise.

He cocks an incredulous eyebrow at me "He drugged you, and was intent on holding you hostage." He states "Not to mention that he knowingly violated your hard limits. Is that not reason enough?"

Well when you put it that way… "You're right" I nod, resigned "I can handle it though…I don't want you to get tied up in all of this, not when you don't have to".

"I'm already tied up in it, Bella" he rolls his eyes. "I own the club he's a member of, and he breached protocol there as well. When are you going to understand that I don't mind? That I _want_ to do this for you?"

"Why?" I whisper. I want him to say it again.

"I love you" he says simply. "You don't have to trick me into saying it, Bella. I never say anything I don't mean" he smiles knowingly.

"Fine fine." I concede with a grin "I got what I wanted".

"Is that all I'm good for, Ms. Swan?"

"Maybe not all."

"Why don't you go shower. There are some clothes in the bathroom already. The police are going to be here soon" He said.

"Police!" I exclaim "When did you set all this up?"

"You'd be amazed at what you can get done when you wake up at 7am." He smiles.

"I must have been out. I'm usually a very light sleeper" I sigh and climb off his lap reluctantly. "Wait, you said clothes?" Whose clothes does he have just lying around? Unpleasant thoughts cross my mind and I waive them away.

"They're my sisters, just some sweatpants and a t-shirt. I thought you'd want to be comfortable, besides she's shorter than you. I think they're the only things here that will fit you."

"Sister!" Edward has a sister?

"Her name is Alice" he smiles fondly. "20 questions later. Unless you want to meet the officer looking like that".

Oh my god! I assume a look of sheer horror is plastered on my face, because Edward begins laughing hysterically. "You are no gentleman, Cullen!" I shout on my way to the bathroom.

Holy - My hair is a _mess_. It looks like brown fro. Like a bird attacked it. I'm absolutely mortified. Damn you and your perfect mornings, Edward Cullen.

* * *

><p>"Well that was eventful" I sighed, leaning back onto the cool leather couch in Edwards living room. I just finished speaking to the officer, trying to relay what happened last night. The police asked a lot of questions but didn't give much away at how they would handle Marcus. I guess I'll have to wait and see.<p>

"Well it's over now. You look exhausted, even with the 14 hours of sleep you got," Edward says and I open my eyes to look at him; standing next to the couch, hands in his pockets and a small smile on his lips.

"I've never slept that much in my life" I shake my head. It's the truth, I usually get around 7-8 hours a night, and I'm content if I get just an hour more.

"Unexpected circumstances, perhaps residual from whatever Marcus gave you," he says, and a few moments later, a frown graces his lips. He's thinking about something unpleasant. Last night?

"I need to go home, Edward…" I say finally "I don't know where my car is, and I have so much work to do. I have to tell Rose what happened…SHIT" I groan. Rose! She's going to be so pissed.

"Ah this supposed 'best friend' I've never met" he smirks, sitting down on the other couch across from me.

"Yeah well, I doubt she'll want to meet you after I tell her about Marcus."

His eyes narrow to thin slits and he shakes his head "Why would that be the case?"

"She doesn't know" I say quietly "and…I'm not sure she'll approve; especially after last night's ordeal".

"You want her approval?" he asks.

"She's my best friend".

"Then she'll come around." He smiles gently "It might take some time"

I nod with a breath "Anyways…my car…?" I ask again. I wonder if Marcus has done anything to it.

"I had it brought here last night just after we arrived." He finishes for me "Are you sure you're okay, Bella?"

No. Of course I'm not okay. But I want to be. I need to be. "Yeah" I whisper, staring down at my hands.

"Bella…"

"I have to be, Edward" I say desperately, not knowing what he wants from me "I'm a little shaken up. But I'll be okay".

"Okay" he concedes softly "But will you promise to call if you need me?" he asks.

"Yes. Of course" I smile with a deep breath "I'll call you anyways".

"Will you, Ms. Swan"?

"I believe it's what girlfriends do, Mr. Cullen," I grin, loving that he can cut the tension with a single sentence.

* * *

><p>I've decided that I'm not going to tell Rose. Not just yet anyways…there's so much to explain. I'm not ready to put myself out there yet.<p>

My car is safe. I'm safe. I'm with Edward now.

That's all that matters. All I need. It makes me happy.

Work. Work is such a godsend at this moment. I've been so immersed in it, that when my phone rings and I glance at the time, I'm shocked to realize that it's already 9pm. Shit. I forgot to call Edward!

"I'm so sorry!" I exclaim into the phone, hoping he hasn't been worrying too much about me.

"_You're alright?" _He breathes in relief.

"I'm fine" I bite my lip. It's a lie. I'm avoiding the subject at hand "I'm really sorry, Edward. I just-I started doing some work to distract myself. I guess it worked".

"_As long as you're okay" _His voice is softer now. Damn. I've made him worry.

Why-why are there tears in my eyes. No one has ever worried about me like this. No one has shown so much concern over absolutely nothing. "I'm okay" I whisper.

"_Bella?" _he gasps quietly_ "Are you crying, sweetheart?"_

"No" I choke "I mean-yes. I don't know" I whisper in frustration.

"_What's wrong? Talk to me." _

"I'm just feeling very overwhelmed" I sniffle softly "I think".

There are a few moments of silence on the line and I wonder if the call has dropped. _"Do you want me to come over?" _He asks finally.

Do I? I find myself nodding vigorously, and realize he can't see me. "Do you want to come over?" I whisper hopefully.

"_Yes_." I hear a small smile in his voice_ "If you'll have me."_

"I do" I whisper "I don't want to take you away from anything though…" I don't want him to feel like he _has_ to come.

"_I'll let my Thursday hookers know that they won't be needed tonight"._

And just like that I'm smiling again. Laughing hysterically actually. "Please come, Edward."

"_I'll be there in a bit."_

* * *

><p>"Are you mad at me?"<p>

He shakes his head and sighs "No, but in the future, would you please call me? Especially when you say you will. I was going insane."

"I'm sorry" I whisper guiltily. I didn't mean to make him worry! That's the last thing I want.

"It's okay." He smiles "What happened earlier, why were you crying?"

I close my eyes before responding "It just feels nice." I whisper.

"What does?" Is his confused reply.

"That someone cares. Someone…worries" I breathe.

"Look at me."

I open my eyes and find his staring compassionately into mine "Do you realize _how_ much I worry about you? I haven't slept, Bella…you-" he sighs and brushes his thumb over the apple of my cheek "You say you're okay." His hand cups my jaw gently "You're not."

"I'm trying to be" I whimper. Oh no. I don't want to cry again.

"Do you know how hard it was for me to let you go this afternoon? Don't try. You don't need to"

"Please Edward. I don't want to cry again" I whisper desperately. His words are causing my heart to constrict painfully.

"Okay baby" he concedes with a whisper "I'm sorry. Are you tired?"

I shake my head. I'm wide awake. "Hey" he says making me look at him again "I _always_ worry about 's probably nothing you can do to rectify that situation."

He's smiling. _I'm_ smiling. Leaning in, I place a soft kiss on his lips "Well…thank you. It feels good."

"I doubt you'll be saying that soon enough" he chuckles quietly.

"Don't get me wrong, Edward." I start quietly "I have amazing people in my life. Rose…my dad. But-they're so busy. So busy with their own lives, I've never had anyone call just to check up on me. Not since I was 18" I laugh incredulously.

"Hmm" he smiles softly "that's a shame".

I shrug in indifference. I don't mind… "I'm used to looking after myself. I don't mind".

"Well Bella. If you're not tired, what _do_ you want to do?" I have no idea if that's supposed to sound dirty…but fuck if it doesn't. I must be blushing because his eyes widen before a deep chuckle takes over him "Get your mind out of the gutter, Swan. I haven't even taken you out on a proper date yet."

"Is that your way of asking me out?"

"Absolutely not" he grins impishly "I'll pick you up at 8 this Friday. Dress casual. No heels." He states, "_That's_ my way of asking you out".

Holy shit. That's tomorrow. "I don't believe that was a question, Cullen" I retort "More like a demand."

"Is that your way of declining my proposal?" he smirks.

Oh hell no. Not a chance. "As if I could" I scoff softly.

"You learn fast".

"Dress casual? What do you have planned?"

His grin widens and he shrugs "You'll find out tomorrow. How about we just watch a movie for now?" he changes the subject.

"A movie?" I ask in disbelief. He wants to watch a movie of all things?

"Oh shit" he curses with a guilty smile "Sorry, is that not-I'm sorry I-"

Edward Cullen is stuttering. He's sitting on my sofa, stuttering. I don't think I've ever seen him at a loss for words before. I don't think _anyone_ has seen him stutter before. I gape at him in awe before a loud giggle escapes me. "Oh god, Edward" I laugh "Marcus didn't ruin movies for me. I can still watch them. Stop apologizing".

His mouth opens and closes a couple times before it sets into a frown. "That was rude, Miss Swan."

"Have you ever stuttered before in your life?" I can't help but keep grinning "I don't think I've ever heard you miss a beat".

"You owe me" he states "I'm picking the movie now."

I roll my eyes "Whatever. I'm going to change. Do you…need something to wear?"

He raises and eyebrow before shaking his head, a smirk on his lips "I don't usually wear clothes to bed, Bella."

Oh jeez. My face feels like it's on fire. "Umm" I clear my throat "I'll be right back. The movies are all in the cabinet to the left" I practically run into my room, trying to drown out the sound of Edward Cullen's chuckle.

Yeah. He's definitely better at this game than I am.

* * *

><p>"Come on, sweetheart" he whispers as the credits begin to roll. "You look exhausted. Let's try and sleep".<p>

I shake my head against his thigh. I'm lying down on the couch, my head in his lap. It's true. I am exhausted. And I would love nothing more than to slip into oblivion but I can't. I can't bring myself to stop thinking. My brain won't stop working.

"No?" he asks softly "Why not?"

"I can't" I rasp out. Why do I have to overthink everything? What a curse.

He gently picks up my head and gets up before setting it down on the couch. Slipping his arms under my legs and shoulders, I find myself being lifted in his embrace "You have to sleep, Bella. What's wrong?" he asks while carrying me to the bedroom "Talk to me".

"My brain won't shut off" I whisper tiredly "I'm so tired".

His warm lips press against my forehead before setting me down on my bed "Can I stay?"

Can he stay? I rather assumed he was… "Please?"

He unbuttons his jeans and slips them down his legs, leaving him in his white boxers and black V-neck, so hot. "Scoot over".

"You could walk around, you know" I tease but also comply, watching as he pulls the covers back so we can both get in.

"This is my side of the bed"

"Actually Cullen, this is _my _bed!" His side! I realize I kind of like it. His side. Does that mean he's going to be here a lot?

"Give it up, Swan. Come here and try to relax" His arm that's closest to me lifts up, inviting me to move against him. I grin like a kid on Christmas and roll into his embrace, head against his bicep.

"Try and sleep, baby" he whispers, lips against my forehead "Nothing can touch you here."

The 5 sweetest words I've heard in a long while. I sigh and contentment and nod against him. I feel safe again. "Goodnight, Edward."

"Night Bella".

* * *

><p><em><strong>Morning Bella,<strong>_

_**I'm sorry I had to leave so early this morning, but you looked so peaceful, I didn't have the heart to disturb you. Hope your day goes well. I look forward to our date tonight. **_

_**Love, **_

_**Edward**_

I must have re-read that note a hundred times before getting out of bed.

And now, I'm standing in front of the mirror after having showered and shaved, trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to wear.

Casual…

No heels.

What in the world does he have planned? Surprises always suck for girls. We never know how to dress. What to wear…what to take with us. Dress or Jeans? Flats…boots…sneakers? Jewelry? Hair?

After much debate, I finally settled on a pair of dark skinny jeans, tall brown flat boots, and a black V-neck sweater.

Just like clockwork, the doorbell rings. "What is it with men always being on time" I mutter, walking towards it.

Edward is on the other side, standing in a pair of grey trousers and black sweater. Hot.

"Hey beautiful" he grins, stepping inside and kissing me softly. Mm, why are his lips always so soft? And why does he always taste so damn good! "You look perfect".

"_Now_ will you tell me what we're doing?" I ask skeptically while toeing on black flats.

"Not a chance".

I sigh in disappointment and grab my purse before shutting all the lights off. "Have everything?" he asks, taking one of my hands in his.

The action sends tingles throughout my body. This is different. Our first date…I'm suddenly very nervous. "Uh yeah. I have everything" I say quietly.

His head tilts slightly in confusion but I think he lets it go and nods "Come on then".

* * *

><p>"You're taking me to the Pacific Science Center?" I ask incredulously as the car pulls up.<p>

First off. Edward has a driver, Logan, the driver, nearly gave me a heart attack when I saw him waiting at the foot of my stoop; waiting to lead us to the car. A driver? Why does he need a driver?

When I asked him about it, he just shook his head in amusement and told me he didn't use him all the time. Just for special occasions.

Special occasions.

Me.

"Have you ever been here?" He raises an eyebrow, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Nope".

Logan opens the door for us, and I take Edwards hand, letting him help me out of the car. "It's beautiful at night. I used to come here during my residency…"

He's right. It's gorgeous. Three large statues…pillars stand tall, maybe 30-40 feet? They're lit in neon colors- wait…there's no one here. The gates are already open, but I don't see or hear anybody.

"I rented it for the night" he smirks down at me, like he knows what I'm thinking.

He WHAT! "Edward!" I gasp in shock. He rented an entire museum for me? "What do you mean you rented it for the night? Is that even legal? I don't understand".

His grin broadens "Come on, lets go in. I want to show you some things".

He rented an entire museum for our first date. Not a movie. Not dinner. We walk through the doors and find ourselves standing in a large dome. "So there's no one here?" At all?" I whisper in awe.

"No. No one's here, just us, no distractions. Does that bother you?" he asks, a flash of something passing through his eyes.

I'm taken aback by his question. Does it bother me? No it doesn't bother me…why would-oh! I release his hand from mine and rest both on his shoulders "No Edward. It doesn't bother me at all. I trust you. You know that, right?" I whisper nervously. I don't want him to feel like he has to walk on eggshells around me. I know he'll never hurt me. "I am just…in awe right now. No one's ever done anything like this for me before."

He smiles shyly down at me, and it's a beautiful smile. One I've never seen before. He looks so innocent…vulnerable. "I'm glad you like it".

* * *

><p>We've spent the past 2 hours walking around the museum. Looking at all the exhibits, and artwork. I don't know why I've never been here before…the place is amazing.<p>

"Come on!" Edward grins. Holy hell. He's smiling like a little boy! He's buzzing about something….and it's infectious. We practically run through the hall and into a large arc that reads 'Laser shows'.

Laser shows? "Pick one" he states.

I look around, we're in the middle of a circular room, doors all around and different show names adorn each one. The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Lady Gaga, Led Zeppelin…the list goes on.

"Can we watch all of them?" I squeal like a 3 year old making him throw his head back to laugh.

"We are. What first?"

"The Beatles".

Edward leads me into the designated room. The lights are dimmed, and I see a stack of pillows in the middle of the floor. He must have sensed my confusion because he explained himself without me having to ask "The show is best if you're laying down. Looking up at the ceiling" he says.

"Edward this" - He silences me with a soft kiss.

"Save it for later, Swan. This is my favorite part of Seattle. Let's enjoy it" he says while sitting us both down on the ground. He produces a remote from his pocket and pushes a single button.

The lights start dimming and the music begins to fade in. Edward lies back first and I follow suit, laying my head on his arm and staring up at the now pitch black ceiling. The show opens with 'yellow submarine' and I'm having the hardest time concentrating. Edward's hands are caressing my arm, just simple brushes and touches but the actions send tingles through my body and I can't help but turn my head to look at him. I can't see much, but his face is illuminated by the dim light provided by the projection above.

"I could stare at you all night as well, you know. But I'll still be here after this is over" I see him smirk in amusement, never averting his eyes from the ceiling.

I blush a deep shade of crimson, thankful for the dark lighting, and turn my attention back to the show which has gotten much more intense. His arm that's wrapped around me pulls me closer and I feel him shake with soft laughter. No doubt at me.

The show is amazing. Music shifts from song to song seamlessly, and each one is different, accompanied by different colored lasers, moving at different speeds… graphics pertaining to the lyrics. The whole show is expertly choreographed.

By the end, I'm reeling. I absolutely renewed my love for the Beatles. They're one of my favorite bands. And to think I've never even heard of this laser show before! As the lights come on again, I have to squint to adjust. We've been in the dark for so long.

"Next show, Miss Swan?" he asks, standing up before holding a hand down for me to take.

Hell yes next show.

Best. Date. Ever.

* * *

><p>"Is this where our night is supposed to end?" I ask while we stand in front of my door, his driver clearly waiting for him. Why am I so disappointed? I want him. I want him to come in. I want to spend more time with him.<p>

I _want_ him.

His eyes search mine for a long minute before a gentle smile takes over his lips. My breath hitches when he leans in, one arm resting over my shoulder and against the door "You should know by now that I don't do things traditionally, Miss Swan. Would you like the night to continue?"

I nod and close my eyes when his fingers gently pry my lip from my teeth. "Let me tell Logan. You go inside. I'll be up in a second" he whispers, his thumb brushes my lower lip and then he's gone. I watch as he turns and walks back down the stairs, towards the car.

I turn and head up to my apartment in anticipation of the night to come.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks aabcarr, as always!

Review please…lemme know what you guys think!


	8. Chapter 8

Jesus Christ. Edward Cullen is going to be the death of me. He's barely touched me and I already want to internally combust. I turn around and climb the steps up to my house, shutting the door but leaving it unlocked on my way in.

God this is awkward now that I'm standing here alone. Edward is a dom. Does that mean he doesn't-I mean…he has to…he knows I want a relationship. Not just a weekend fuck buddy.

"What are you so lost in thought about?" I hear him say quietly to me.

My head snaps up at the sound of his voice and I see him leaning against my now closed and locked door "You okay?" he asks, brow furrowing in slight concern.

I force a smile and nod "I'm great. Tonight was wonderful, Edward. Thank you."

He begins walking towards me and smiles "I'm glad you enjoyed it, Bella. Good first date?" he's in front of me now, hands resting on my hips.

I jump slightly at the contact and his forehead scrunches in concern once again "Relax" he says in soft confusion "What has you so worked up?"

_You!_ I want to say. Instead I smile shyly and shrug "This is weird."

"Weird?" he cocks an eyebrow.

"I don't-I mean…god, I don't know Edward" I groan, not able to say what I want.

"What has you so frustrated?" he whispers and I look up at his eyes. They're truly concerned.

Without missing a beat or even realizing what I'm doing, my lips are on his. Moving slowly against his warmth, trying to convey what I want. His fingers grip my waist more firmly and pull me closer "Mmmhm" he hums against my mouth as I tangle my fingers in his hair. I gasp into his mouth, feeling his tongue gently trace my lower lip, coaxing me to open up for him.

Gladly.

As soon as his tongue meets mine, I'm a goner. I feel my knees buckle and Edward chuckles softly against my lips while lifting my waist. Without hesitating, my legs wrap around him, groaning in need when I feel his arousal pressed against my thigh.

"You know" his deep voice pants as he pulls back and rests our foreheads together "You could have just said you wanted _that._"

Huh? How can he form a coherent thought at this point? I'm panting. I feel warm. I want _more_. "Hey" he whispers, I can feel his soft breath across my lips "What's gotten into you just now?"

"I want you" I whisper softly without opening my eyes. Oh jeez. Here comes the rejection.

His hands shift so they're resting just under my butt and pull me up higher onto him "Yeah?" he mumbles, I can hear a smile in his voice "You have me baby. I'm right here."

What? I feel dizzy. Drunk even…and I've had nothing of the sort this evening. My alarm rises fractionally when I feel him walk us somewhere…I'm assuming towards the bedroom.

"Edward?" My heart is racing. I'm suddenly very nervous… I've been naked in front of him before. Hell… I've fucking _scened_ with him before. But this… this is so much more intimate. It means so much more.

"Relax" he hushes, obviously seeing the distress in my eyes. "We don't have to do anything, baby" He's misread me. I want to. I want him.

"I want to" I whisper "I'm just… It's been a long time." I can't look him in the eye as I tell him this.

"Look at me" he stops in front of my bed, and I lift my eyes to his, finding his are shining with….what? Delight? "That's a very good thing. I can be a jealous man."

And just like that a slow smile spreads across my lips and I let out a breath of laughter "I love you".

"Mmm" His lips press against mine gently "You too".

I realize that I'm still wrapped around him and blush profusely. Oh god. "Where are you going?" he grins in amusement when I try to untangle my legs from his waist.

"Uh-" I stutter. I don't know! I'm drawing a blank here…

"You need to relax, sweetheart" he murmurs, laying me down on the soft comforter and crawling in on top of me. "I don't know why you're so nervous. There's no reason to be. Not with me."

His words do wonders to calm me. There really is no reason to be so nervous around him. He'll never hurt me…I know that much.

"I know" I whisper.

"You are so unbelievably beautiful" He whispers, gazing down at me.

Oh jeez. No. I don't believe I'm beautiful at all…but he makes me feel it. "You're not so bad yourself" I whisper back. Because it's true, I've never met a man more gorgeous. Inside and out.

And then he smiles, god he has a nice smile. I let my eyes flutter closed as a single finger glides softly down my cheek "You sure you want this?"

"I've never wanted anything more" I whisper without opening my eyes "I need you" my breath hitches at the feeling of his lips on my neck. Feather light kisses string across my neck and collarbone, leaving a wake of fire in their place. Jesus.

"Ahhh" a soft moan escapes me when his nose trails up the same path, and up to my ear where he gently wraps his lips around the lobe. God how does he know –

"Lift up" he whispers against the shell of my ear. Huh?

All I can concentrate on is the weight of his body against mine. The warmth of his lips; and-oh god- I feel his current predicament against my thigh and my arms go around his back, using him as leverage to arch up against him. I can't get close enough!

My thoughts are interrupted by his soft chuckle "Lift up baby" he repeats once again and this time I comply, groaning when he slides my jeans down my legs. When the hell did he even unbutton them? The fabric bunches around my ankles and I kick them off hastily.

I want his off too. My hands fly to his waistband and I have them unbuttoned and halfway down his legs in under 2 seconds. "Someone is eager" he murmurs in amusement. Moving so we're both kneeling, facing each other, I grab the hem of his shirt and lift it over his head.

"Fuck" I mutter in response to him kneeling in front of me in just his underwear. He's so hot. On his knees in just his white Calvin Kleins… he's better than the model. He has a perfectly toned six pack, just visible…not too prominent. And his chest is lightly spattered with hair… he has a happy trail. That just about does it for me. I want to devour this man.

"Already?" He teases softly and pulls me closer. I let my hands trail up his solid arms and over his shoulders. He's hot as fuck. And he's all mine. His skin is warm and smooth to the touch; I can practically feel each muscle move as he lifts my shirt over my head.

I want to kill Rose. The black lace bra and panties I'm wearing are so not me. They're made for someone sexy… someone beautiful. Someone who can pull it off. A soft finger traces my breasts, just where the lace ends and I let my eyes flutter close. God that feels good.

"Gorgeous girl … exquisite" I think I hear him murmur. His hands slide around to my back and expertly unhook my bra clasp.

"Hmm…you've had practice, Cullen."

He pulls the black material off my shoulders and throws it behind him. Once again his hands are on my back, fingertips pressing into the groove of my spine and gliding downwards before they slip under my panties, both hands cupping my ass.

Jesus fucking Christ Edward, just take them off already. He's driving me insane with need. I feel hot. Too hot.

I'm startled when my eyes meet his. They're dark. Intense. And staring right back into mine… His fingers dig gently into my flesh, pulling me up towards him. I throw my arms around his neck and comply, letting him pull me up against him.

Mmmm…skin on skin. And it's like we fit. We're made for each other; as cheesy as that sounds.

He leans down, and I think he's going to kiss me, but his mouth hovers over mine, just millimeters apart. I can feel his sweet breath on my lips… so close. So fucking close.

Fuck this.

I lean up the short distance and meet his lips hard, inwardly smiling when I feel his own smile against my lips. How he manages to do it, I have no idea, but before I know it, I'm naked…_kneeling_ naked before him. "Mmm" he hums against my lips as his hands roam slowly all over me. Up my stomach, down my back, down to my ass, over my ribs…he's driving me _insane_.

"Dammit Edward" I pant, pulling away and glaring up at him.

His lips are just twitching to smirk. I know it. Somehow he manages to hold back. "What's wrong baby" he murmurs, still trying not to smile.

"I seem to be at a disadvantage" I mumble, hooking my thumbs into the waistband of his Calvin's.

Ahhhh there's that smirk. And it's so fucking….HOT!

Holy shit. Oh god he's fucking perfect. Even his cock is sexy as fuck. Thick, hard and long. Edward is definitely…well endowed. Every other part of him is perfection; I don't know why I thought this would be any different.

Realizing I've been staring, I lift my head to his; blushing profusely, I'm sure, at his knowing grin. Wonderful, I've just been caught cock gazing. His large hands cup my shoulders and gently caress their way up my neck, both his thumbs brushing the bottom of my jaw "Love you" he murmurs, all teasing gone.

And just like that, all the tension leaves my body. I smile softly up at him "I love you."

As soon as the words were out, he pushed me back until I felt the cool mattress against my back and settled himself between my legs, lying down on top of me.

"Jesus!" I gasp as he dipped his head and took my right nipple between his lips. "Edward…god" I moaned when his teeth scraped against my sensitive skin, his tongue soothing the slight sting. I threaded my fingers through his hair and pressed him against me, never wanting this to end.

He mumbled something undecipherable against my skin and laid soft wet kisses against my stomach, moving lower and lower. I shook my head, biting back a whimper. I needed him now. Tugging on his hair until he looked up, "What is it?" He whispered.

"Later," I hummed desperately "I need you now."

Thank fucking god. He slid back up my body so he was level with me and I felt just the tip of his cock press against my entrance. "Yes," I whispered in relief, wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing him to my lips. He moaned against my lips and inched slowly inside of me, filling me to the brim.

"Hold on" I panted when he was halfway in. He's going to be the death of me. He's just so _big_, and it's been so long for me. I need to adjust.

He lifts up and gazes down at me in concern "Are you in pain, love?" one of his hands strokes through my hair.

I shake my head and blow out a long breath through pursed lips, trying to get my breathing under control. "No" I whisper "No. I just-it's been so _long_."

"I know baby" he murmurs and gently rotates his hips, slipping further and further into me. "Better?"

Involuntarily, my eyes roll back into my head and I'm all sensation. He feels so good.

So right.

"Fuck you feel good" he groans when he's all the way in. I fight to open my eyes as he slowly pulls out and just as slowly thrusts back in.

White heat shoots through me. It's the most pleasure I've felt in a long time and I can barely form a coherent thought. All I can focus on is the way our bodies move against each other. How well they fit. How I instinctively move with each of his thrusts, how fucking _right_ this feels.

And it dawns on me. I'm making love to the man I thought I could never have. The man I thought had absolutely _no _interest in me. "Edward" I moan softly. The man I've loved for so long.

"Mmm Bella," he accentuates with a hard thrust, making me cry out in pleasure. He picks up the pace, moving more quickly now. We're both close. I can feel it. My entire body is humming with pleasure, ready to break. And I can feel how tense he is, his breath is short…controlled.

"SHIT!" I gasp when he shifts and changes the angle slightly, hitting a spot I never even knew existed. "Yes!" I hiss in pleasure. Fuck that feels _so so so _good.

"Right" he thrusts again "There?" his whisper fans over my lips.

"Fuck yes" I cry incoherently as he strokes that sweet spot over and over again. "Edward!"

"Shhhh" he hushes, panting for breath, "Come back to me, baby. Open your eyes."

I shake my head frantically, I won't last. I can't hang on. It's too much. It's been too long.

"Yes" he breathes, pressing his lips to my left eyelid "Yes. I want to see you."

I struggle, I don't know for how long, but finally I'm able to peel my eyes open. They're itching to roll back into my head, but I try and hang on for as long as I can. When they finally focus, I'm blown away by the sight in front of me.

Edward's eyes are a dark onyx. No traces of their usual emerald green. They're dark, intense, coated with pleasure. Pleasure that he's deriving from _me_. I can't look away, it's like I'm under a spell. And for a brief moment, time stops around us, his hips still as he gazes down at me. I have no idea how long we stay like this, but eventually, his hands cradle my head and his lips crash down onto mine while simultaneously thrusting into me again.

It's my undoing. My orgasm rips through me; it's intense, hot, and borderline torture. He swallows my screams and seconds later, I feel him let go with a loud growl. The vibration reverberates against my lips and I'm left breathless; a sweaty, exhausted, sated mess. I wrap my arms tiredly around his back as he nuzzles against my neck and rests his head there. I can feel each soft breath he takes against my skin, and it's so soothing.

It's never been like this with anyone. Not even with my ex husband, who I was with for years. I've known Edward for all of 7 months and our first time together is…_mind blowing_. I have no other way of describing what just happened. I didn't know it could be like this.

Jesus. Now I know what all the hype is about.

"_Sex complicates things, Bella"_ Rosalie's words come back to me _"Just please go slow, okay? If that fucker does anything to hurt you, his ass is mine."_

"Stop" his soft voice mumbles before I can form another thought "Stop overthinking this."

How does he always know what I'm thinking? Am I that easy to read? "I'm not." I protest just as softly.

He snorts and lifts his head; an amused smile is on his lips "Right" he teases.

"I'm not" I shake my head with a sincere smile. I really am very happy. I have no regrets. "I was just thinking about how…I never knew it could be like that. How right we feel together." And as the words leave my mouth I realize maybe I've said too much. "That sounds stupid…"

"No" his smile matches mine "No it doesn't sound stupid. I've lived too much of my life dwelling on the past. I want to move forward. With you." Every single word he says drips with sincerity. He's really trying.

"You look exhausted" I'm unable to keep the goofy grin from gracing my lips

"Have I not worn you out as well, Miss Swan?" he laughs softly.

"I don't think I'll walk well for the next few days, Mr. Cullen, so I think it's safe to say I'm more than worn out." This is what I like; the easy playful banter. It comes so naturally with us.

* * *

><p>"Yeah, push everything back. Probably until 4?"<p>

Huh? Who the hell is whispering? And who are they talking to? I yawn tiredly and blink my eyes open, still trying to find my bearings.

"No Angela, please don't schedule anything else for this week" I feel a soft caress on my shoulder blade and realize it's Edward. Damn what time is it?

I finally blink my eyes open and adjust to find myself lying down on my stomach, one of Edwards arms lay across my back. Turning my head towards him, I watch him sleepily mumble a few more things into his cell.

We're both lying on our stomachs, his head is turned the other way so I doubt he knows I'm awake yet. Jeez it's cold…probably because I don't have a stitch of clothing on my body and the only thing that covers us is the thin white sheet on my bed. I shift further under his arm and move closer to him, trying to burrow into his warm side.

He stops speaking and turns slowly, realizing I'm awake. "Angela. I'll call you back."

"Don't move" I whine tiredly as he rolls over so he's on his side facing me "It's so cold."

"Morning" he murmurs while pulling me closer to his chest. I close my eyes and rest my head against him, almost drifting off again before- "Bella!"

"Huh" I startle awake, jumping slightly.

"It's almost 10 baby. Don't you want to get up?"

Yes Edward. I do. But it makes it difficult when you're constantly caressing and touching any part of my body. His hand strokes my hair gently, making me more tired than I actually am. It's so soothing.

"Mhmm" I hum "Do you have to work today?" I mumble.

A soft hand runs down my back again "Yes, not until 4."

"You okay?"

I let out a soft giggle at his question "Yes, Edward. I'm good, better than good actually."

"Breakfast, Miss Swan?" he murmurs as I wrap my arms around his back and hug him close to me, inhaling the musky scent of Edward Cullen. God he smells so fucking good.

"That requires getting out of bed" I groan into his chest which rumbles with laughter.

* * *

><p>The grin on my face is ridiculous. I can feel it. And If I were someone else, I would openly gawk at the face I'm probably making at the moment.<p>

"Hello" I say a little too enthusiastically.

"_Bella" _his smooth voice comes through the line _"How was your day?"_

"Well my morning was perfect. I can't say the same about the rest of my day" I pout. God this is so easy with him.

His chuckle sends shivers through me _"Anything I can do to make it better?"_

Oh jeez….is that supposed to be a sexual joke? I'm so not good at this. "Unless you can read these drab manuscripts for me, I don't think so. How was work?"

"_Work was work._" He dismisses _"I'm on my way home now. Just calling to see if you needed anything, sweetheart" _

Sweetheart. How does that name get me every time? We haven't been apart since the fiasco with Marcus. I need to give him his space though…and I need some time alone to process everything. Besides, I don't want to seem needy. "I'm okay Edward" I say softly "Thanks for asking."

"_You're sure?"_ he asks…why does he sound weary?

"I'm sure. Go home and get some rest. You must be exhausted. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Will you really call me tomorrow, or is this another ruse" he teases…I think.

"The phone does work both ways, Dr. Cullen" I roll my eyes "But rest assured you'll hear from me."

"I suppose I'll just have to trust you on that"

"Good plan" I smile "Goodnight Edward."

"Night" he says before hanging up.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"Logan."

"Sir" he answers.

Without looking up from the work I desperately need to finish "I'd like you to watch Isabella's house for me. Make sure Marcus doesn't go anywhere near her tonight. If anything unusual happens, call me immediately" I hope Bella doesn't mind…well mostly, I hope she doesn't find out. But in any case, I'll do whatever is necessary to make sure Marcus doesn't ever get his hands on her again.

"Of course, sir. Would you like me to stay until she leaves the house tomorrow or is there a specific time you'd like me to be back"?

"Sometime around 8 will be fine. I need to go to the hospital for a bit in the morning".

Without another word, Logan turned and left. Fuck…how is it that I miss her already? We haven't even been apart for an entire day yet. This girl is going to kill me.

* * *

><p>"Hey baby, everything okay?" I murmur into the phone after looking at the time. It's 2am, and even I'm not asleep yet. I have to be at work in 7 hours.<p>

"_Yeah" She whispers hesitantly "I just-I wanted to hear your voice. I'm sorry. You're probably sleeping…"_

A smile takes over my lips at her words and I turn on my back "I'm actually not. Sleep is a bit lost on me tonight."

"_Me too." _

"Are you alright, Bella?" I ask softly. She seems so lost. Her voice seems like it's so far away.

"_I'm okay, Edward" she assures quietly "I'm not going to lie… I'm scared, but I'm okay."_

I sigh; maybe I should just tell her… hopefully it'll help her sleep. "There's no reason to be scared, sweetheart," I say slowly "Logan is outside, watching your house," I close my eyes and brace myself for the anger…

"_What!" She practically screeches "Edward why didn't you tell me!"_

"I thought you'd object?"

"_Well…you might be right" She concedes with a soft laugh. "But right now, I'm pretty damn grateful."_

What? "You never fail to surprise me, Isabella" I shake my head in amusement.

"_Thank you, Edward. You really didn't have to." _

"Chin up, beautiful." I whisper "I did promise everything was going to be alright."

"_Yes, you did" she says, I can hear the smile in her voice "I love you, Edward."_

Every time. Those words get me every single time. "I love you too, Bella."

"_Well…I'll let you get some sleep now I guess. Now that I know I'm safe" She laughs. _

"Is that all I'm good for?"

"_I suppose I'll have to figure that out tomorrow, Dr. Cullen. Are you free?"_

"I could be. For you" I grin "I have to work in the morning, but I'll be off by 3 at the latest. Late lunch? I'll pick you up."

"_There you go with those statements again."_

"As if you were going to say no." Okay. Maybe that was a little cocky.

"_Touché" she chuckles "3:00 then, I'll be ready."_

"Goodnight Sweetheart."

"_Sweet dreams Edward."_

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for the delay guys! Life's been a little crazy the past few weeks, Let me know what you guys think!

Thanks aabcarr! Amazing as always :)

Also, who thinks I need another Beta? I've been getting several reviews with these comments, and any recommendations? i've never worked with more than one beta before, so I have no idea what protocol is!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hello all, I'm so sorry about the wait! I've had this chapter written for quite a while but haven't had time to edit/post it. School and work have been driving me up the wall so bear with me here. I'll still be posting chapters, slowly...but surely. Anyways, I hope you enjoy :) As always, let me know what you think!

* * *

><p>BPOV<p>

Is that the doorbell? Already? Goddamn Edward Cullen and his punctuality. I quickly wrapped a robe around myself and ran to the door before practically swinging it open like a crazy person. Which is probably what I look like right now.

Of course. A perfectly groomed Edward stood on the other side, an amused smile twitching at his lips, as he takes in my state, no doubt. "I don't want to hear it," I threaten as he enters my house.

He grins and holds his hands up in defense "You look…underdressed" he manages to say without laughing

"You're on time!"

"I'm always on time" he states obviously

True. "I know, I'm so sorry. I was on the phone with Rose. She is going through something horrible…I lost track of time. I promise I'll be done in 15 minutes. Did I completely ruin our plans?" I ask apologetically

His eyes soften and he tilts his head before a hand reaches up and pulls my lip from between my teeth "I only said lunch, baby. You haven't ruined anything."

"I'm sorry" I smile up at him as he cups my cheek

"Would you like to stay here instead? You look so comfortable"

There's that teasing again. But staying in does sound nice...and not only because I want to do all manner of dirty things with this man. "I can make us something." I offer, "I mean if you don't mind not going out…"

"Only if you promise not to change" he smirks. Ugh he is so incorrigible.

"Save it, Cullen. Why don't you find something to do while I figure out what to make"

"You know, you're not very good at this girlfriend thing" he grabs my hand as I turn to leave. What! Did he just say what I think he did?

Tugging me back to him, I let myself fall as he catches me, both arms wrapped around my waist. Our bodies pressed deliciously together.

Mmm…yeah he's probably right. He's a much better boyfriend.

"You haven't even kissed me!"

"That goes both ways, Dr. Cullen." I whisper, trying not to sound as breathless as I feel. Will I ever be immune?

* * *

><p>"You have a library?" I almost choke on the Parmesan crusted salmon<p>

"Yes?" He answers in obvious confusion.

"Don't look at me like that. I've only ever been to your house once. And-" I blanche slightly at the memory before shaking my head "That wasn't exactly a prime time to give me a tour"

"Why don't you come over tomorrow" he offers "Your sour memories of my place just won't do"

He's teasing me. I love that he can lighten a situation with just a few words.

"That sounds good" I smile.

"We need to talk, Bella" he says softly, and that's how I know that it's serious.

And suddenly, I fear the worst. He doesn't want me anymore. He's going to say there's nothing-he's pushing me away. "Bella? Hey…" I look up to find his forehead scrunched in confusion "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" I whisper, clearing my throat, pushing back the tears that threatened to fill my eyes "I'm sorry. You wanted to talk?"

"I need to know why you didn't take my advice…and discuss your limits and expectations with Marcus" Oh thank god. That's all he wants to talk about? Still awkward…but so much better than the former.

"I was going to" I whisper, slightly ashamed that I hadn't listened to him. I could have avoided this mess…but then would I have Edward? I know it's a horrible thought, but something good did come out of this catastrophe. "I didn't know he was going to drug me, Edward. How could I?"

"Of course. You could have never known" he says gently "But- that day…when we talked in the café, I meant it when I said you needed to talk to him. I just…I don't want to make that same mistake with us."

"So you plan to drug me?" I whisper with a small smile

"Bella…" he shakes his head, clearly not in the mood for my humor, yet I see a smile twitching at his lips

"Sorry."

"I love you Isabella." He says so simply…like it's the most natural thing in the world "And I know we didn't have a very conventional beginning, but I want to be with you. You need to talk to me, tell me what you're looking for. Sometimes…I feel like I can read you like an open book and other times it's like I don't have even an ounce of what you're thinking. You don't give much away."

"Of course I want you, Edward…I love you too" I whisper "But- I just want to wait…wait it out a little before I-"

"Go back into the playroom again?" he finishes for me

"Yeah" He can read me better than he thinks

"Look" he takes my hand from across the table "When you're ready…will you promise to talk to me? Let me know? There's no rush…I don't want to pressure you into anything. And I certainly have no issues with waiting."

"Yes, I promise" I let out a laugh of relief "I swear"

"That being said…when we _do_, I assume you don't want a 24/7 lifestyle?"

Oh jeez no. I don't know if I can do that… "Is that what you want?" I ask, praying to god that he says no

"No" a small smile plays at his lips "Not at all."

"You're mean" I shake my head, unable to hide my grin. He knew what my answer would be…

"Maybe a little" he agrees "But you like it"

"Maybe a little"

"Will you _ever_ be able to talk to me?" he chuckles, squeezing my hand "Because you know you'll eventually have to. It's a rule of mine"

Oh god. I can't talk about this here! Now! Over…salmon and salad! Is he insane? The temperature feels like it's gone up about 100 degrees.

"And there it is" he raises an eyebrow just as I withdraw my hand from his

"Edward!" I hiss in embarrassment

"Bella!" he mocks "Fine baby. But like I said. Rule."

"I'll cross that bridge when I get there" I mutter and resume eating. "It's hard for me" I say after a few beats…wanting him to understand "I tell you more than I've ever told anyone. You know that, right?" I can't look him in the eye. All he wants is my input…my honesty. And I'm having a hard time with just that.

"I know sweetheart." He says with a patient smile "You'll get better"

"Is anything new with Marcus?" I mumble, suddenly not hungry anymore.

"It's too early to tell. I have him under control." Edward says so surely that I have no choice but to believe him "Don't waste your time worrying about it"

And just as I'm about to respond, a loud series of knocks land on my door. There's only one person that doesn't ever use my doorbell.

Well, Shit.

"Are you okay?" Edward asks, making me snap out of it

"_BELLA! OPEN THIS DOOR NOW"_

And his concerned frown turns into an amused smile "I'm assuming this is the best friend who has no interest in meeting me?"

"This isn't funny, Edward!" I hiss, pushing my chair back to stand up

"I'll just wait here" he says smugly. Smug, Cullen? Maybe it is time for a meeting with Rosalie.

I swing the door open with more force than I intend and find a very impatient Rose on the other side. "What took you so long!" She glares, storming into the house

"What's wrong, Rose?" I sigh as she hangs her coat up

"That little fucker won't stop calling me. How many times have I changed my number?" she shakes her head in frustration "Well!"

"3!" I roll my eyes, realizing she actually expected me to answer that

"Right! 3! What a ridiculous amount of times to change a cell number. Seriously. I just don't know what I can do…"

"Maybe I can be of some assistance"

Oh god Edward. Don't you know what to keep your mouth shut? This is so not how I want this meeting to go. She slowly turns to the voice and raises an eyebrow at me "Sorry, you didn't mention you had company"

"Rose…this is-"

"Edward" She finishes for me, taking his offered hand "Right. We met at the hospital."

"Good seeing you again, Rosalie" He flashes her his trademark Adonis smile, which even Rose halts for a brief second at. Jesus, does he have this affect on everybody?

"I'm sorry, am I intruding on something?" she motions over to the table where our food is still laid out

"Oh no" I waive off "we were just having a late lunch."

"In your robe?" She stares at me for a long moment before bursting into a fit of laughter "You're the worst liar ever"

Oh my god, kill me now. I'm so mortified. "Rose! Jesus!"

"Sorry honey" she grins "I should have called…good thing I waited until after. Your walls are so thin"

She's going too far. "You can leave now" I say as sweetly as I can

"She can stay" Edward says while hanging an arm around my shoulders. I crane my head to look up at him and glare. Excuse me? "Besides, I can help"

"How" She states, clearly intrigued

"Well, phone companies usually don't allow you to block numbers, which is probably why you've tried changing your number so many times. Am I right?"

"So far"

"What provider are you with?"

"Verizon"

"Perfect" he exclaims "I own a considerable share of the company" he says probably after seeing our confusion "I can get you a private line, block whatever numbers you'd like, and probably a better deal than you have now. Cut by at least half. How does that sound?"

"Who the fuck are you" She says, but not before staring in disbelief for a few moments "Seriously" A smile takes over her lips

This is weird. Rose is usually such a tough one to crack, and honestly, I was hoping to put him up to the challenge. I suppose I'm also happy that the man I love and my best friend are getting along…it will certainly make my life easier in the long run.

"Would you like to eat, Rose?" I ask, clearly interrupting their conversation because both of them turn to me with blank expressions, like they've heard nothing I just said. I asked a simple question!

"Sorry Bella?"

"Food. Do you want it?" I ask, not as nicely this time.

"Oh no, I'm okay-wait is that your Parmesan salmon?" She grins at me like a kid on Christmas "I change my mind. I'm starving"

* * *

><p>"Your friend loves me." Edward gloats when I shut the door<p>

"Don't be so smug, Cullen. This was a fluke"

"I…" he draws out "Don't think so."

"I still have to tell her about Marcus." I say shortly, slightly peeved. Why am I in such a mood tonight?

Of course, he notices. And of course he can't let anything go. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy that we were getting along"

I nod in defeat as we stand across from one another, just a foot of space between us. Fuck it. I take a step forward and stop abruptly. Unsure of what to do. All I want to do is walk into his safe arms, but I feel as though I've been using him as a crutch all week. When I look up, I see him sigh in exasperation and wrap his arms around my waist, pulling me to him. Resting my head on his shoulder, I close my eyes "I'm sorry" Because I am. None of this is his fault…and yet I keep taking everything out on him.

"Mmm" he hums, chest rumbling with the motion, "No reason to be. You alright?"

"She's going to be so angry. Mostly that I waited so long to tell her"

"She's your best friend, Bella. She's not going to be angry. I'm betting a substantial amount that she's going to be more concerned than anything. Rose cares about you…I can see that."

"I'm sorry I've been such a bitch all evening" I whisper against his shirt

"And here I thought that was the norm" he teases softly "Come, I'll help you clean up"

"Will you stay tonight?" I whisper, not ready to let him go yet.

"How about you come over. I have some paperwork that needs to get done before tomorrow"

Oh. I don't want to impose on his work. I forget how busy he is. "It's okay, I don't want to keep you from work"

"Bella" he shakes his head with a small smile "you're not keeping me from anything. Come, I work late tomorrow. I can finish up on some work while you explore my library"

That does sound good. "Sounds…perfect" I whisper with a smile.

* * *

><p>"While I would be content watching you forever, it's getting late"<p>

An involuntary gasp leaves my lips. He's startled me. Edward is sitting down in one of the large chairs across from me, one leg crossed over the other, a small smile playing at his lips. How long has he been there?

"Sorry" I mumble sheepishly. I know how engrossed in books I can become. And right now I'm reading one of my favorites. Wuthering Heights…and while I've read it hundreds of times, I've never read a first edition. Hardback, leather-bound. It's truly a beauty.

"Don't be" he smiles "Wuthering Heights?"

"It's a favorite of mine" I say softly while gently closing the book and setting it in my lap "Your library is gorgeous, Edward. I could live in here."

"I wouldn't object" he murmurs, and his eyes are so intense, it's hard to tell if he's serious or not.

"Your collection…" I whisper, and look around the grand room. Rows and rows of bookcases filled to the top with the most beautiful books I've ever seen.

"Yes, I was a slightly obsessed with literature for a brief period in my life"

"Brief?" I crack a smile. This collection had to have taken years to gather.

"Brief" he mouths with a smile "Are you finished, or would you like to sleep in here as well"

Funny, Cullen. "I don't think I'll ever be finished. Not with this one" I hold up my new favorite toy "I may have to hold it hostage"

"I don't think so Miss Swan" he shakes his head slowly…and damn if it isn't sexy "I may never capture your attention again. How do I compete with Mr. Darcy?"

"There is no comparison" I whisper, completely under his spell. I can't take my eyes off of him.

"Yeah?" he smirks, like he knows something. "Come here"

My mouth has gone dry. And I find myself panting…he hasn't touched me. Two simple words.

I set the book down on the coffee table in front of me, and stand up, never breaking eye contact. God he's good.

When I'm finally standing before him, he pulls me down into his lap so I'm astride him, my legs on either side of his. Why is he so damn sexy!

"You're not so bad yourself." He whispers with a small grin

Shit. Did I say that out loud? "Edward" I hum in pleasure as his hands grip my waist, pulling me closer to him.

"Ever been fucked in a library, Isabella?" he grins like the Cheshire cat.

Oh holy Jesus. I think I've just cum from his words alone. "In front of the books!" I screech before I know what's coming out of my mouth. Oh god. I'm such a fucking idiot…I say the stupidest things. It's like word vomit.

He's laughing. He's laughing hysterically, and I can only imagine what it looks like because my eyes are cinched tightly shut in order to try and avoid the extreme humiliation I'm feeling at the moment.

"I love you, baby" he chuckles, and I feel a single finger flutter across my cheek.

"Edward" I whisper nervously and play with the hairs on the nape of his neck. Please don't say no. I can't do this alone.

"Hmmm?"

"I want to tell Rose. And I want you to be there when I do it."

"Maybe not _there_" I rush out quickly when I'm met with no response "But…" the last part comes out in a whisper when his finger presses against my lips.

"I'll be there" He murmurs, "I don't want to talk about Rosalie. I don't want you to worry about her. I want to fuck you in my library. Right now." Jesus fucking Christ. I think I just came.

"Oh my god" I pant, clutching the back of his neck. My panties are drenched and I might have the sense to be mortified if he weren't doing such amazing things to my neck with his lips right now.

"Already?" his lips smirk against my skin. "You're going to have to learn to control that baby."

"Fuck" I moan when his teeth graze my collarbone. "Please Edward" I have no idea what I'm begging for. And I don't give a fuck.

"New rule" he mutters against my neck while his fingers pry the button on my jeans "Skirts or dresses only when you're in my house"

What! "Huh?" I gasp

He grins up at me and I have to fight to stay conscious when I feel his palm dip just into my panties "Someone likes it when I talk dirty"

Holy fuck. I feel my head become dizzy as just his middle finger grazes the tip of my already sensitive clit; I'm going to pass out if he doesn't stop torturing me.

"Breathe" he chuckles softly against the skin of my throat, where he's laying soft, wet kisses. "Where would you like to do this, baby?" his voice is taunting. That combined with his fingers torturing my pussy is going to kill me. I'm sure of it. "Against the bookcases? On the table perhaps?"

"You pick" I groan when his hand is thrust deeper into my panties and a single digit enters me

"Pick one." He murmurs, gently biting the skin of my shoulder "Now."

"Oh god" I whimper helplessly when his other hand roughly pinches my right nipple through the fabric of my shirt.

"Now, Bella" he reiterates

"Against the bookcases" I pant out breathlessly "Oh please" I'm whining, I sound so desperate, and it's a completely accurate portrayal of how I feel at the moment. I need him so badly. I need to feel him inside me.

He smirks against my shoulder and lifts his head to mine, his fucking finger still moving slowly inside me, building me towards an intense pleasure.

Jesus he's beautiful, his sexy smirk, the sparkle of mischief in his eyes…

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" he teases me

"Edward you're driving me crazy" I whisper desperately

"Mmm mission accomplished then" he says just as he adds another finger. And everything inside me clenches as I let out an embarrassingly loud moan.

"Please" I whisper desperately, clutching his shoulders for support

Instead, he pushes me off his lap, leaving me standing in front of him. Panting. Ready. Needing. Ugh.

"Strip"

One word. All he has to do is say one word. The man practically bleeds power. I take a breath and pull off all my garments, one by one until I'm stark naked. While he's fully clothed.

"Come back" he crooks a finger at me

"Hold on" He says just before he stands up in one swift motion with me in his arms. I have no choice but to wrap my legs around him as he strides forward. Jesus fucking Christ.

He brings me over to one of the shorter bookshelves. It's about Edwards's height, maybe a little taller. "Arms on top of the shelf, love. And hold on tight" he smirks

I left my arms from around his neck and stretch them out behind me, gripping the back of the wood with my hands. And I realize in this position, my breasts are jutted out towards him. I move my arms as heat colors my cheeks "Put your hands back, Isabella." he says patiently

I blink at him and hesitate before doing as he asked. Why am I embarrassed? My breasts brush his shirt-clad chest every time I breathe in and I have to fight back a groan when my nipples bunch in anticipation. "Good girl. Keep them there." he says and makes sure I'm steady before releasing me and unzipping his pants.

_Oh fuck._

I'm completely helpless. Pinned between him and the shelf, my legs wrapped firmly around him to keep from falling. I couldn't move my arms if I wanted to...I'd probably topple him over. "Easy" he murmurs, running a single finger down between my breasts and over my stomach. Its only then that I realize how shallow my breathing is.

His hands are back, gripping my waist as he shifts me upward so we're lined up. Time seems to stand still; he's drawing this out. He's teasing me. Taunting me. And damn if it isn't working. "Please" I whine desperately when I can't take anymore.

His lips quirk and suddenly his lips are on mine. Demanding. Hot. _Dominating. _I can't do anything. Anything except take what he's giving me. His tongue strokes mine roughly and in one smooth stroke, he's inside me. "Ahhh" My gasp is muffled by his lips. I'm panting into his mouth. Fuck I had forgotten how big he is.

The wood against my back is hard. Unyielding as he pounds into me. Stroke after stroke, set in a fast rhythm he never breaks. I can't take it anymore. The knot in my stomach is growing and growing, he groans and changes his angle "Hold. On." He reminds me when my arms almost give out as white heat shoots through me.

"Please. Please. _Please_" I beg, practically sobbing for release.

He thrust harder now, his cock hitting the sweetest spot inside me. I mewled and threw my head back against the wood with a _thump_. I didn't care. "Ah, there it is" he murmured under his breath and once against claimed my mouth. His mouth matched his rhythm. Fast. Hot. Rough.

His teeth grazed my tongue and I exploded helplessly around him. Blinding light took over my senses and I could hear someone screaming in the faint distance.

Finally after god knows how long, I hear a deep growl emit from Edward. I'm limp. I couldn't move if I tried. The last thing I remember is Edwards soft hum of content before I'm pulled into oblivion.

* * *

><p>I'm hot. Burning actually. It feels like I'm lying inside of a sauna, a very heavy sauna. Blinking my eyes open, I find that it's still early. A soft light is peeking through one of the curtains and I glance down at the nightstand, groaning when it's only 4am. Why do I always wake up at weird times? It's so annoying.<p>

I'm just about to kick the blankets off when I remember that I'm not home. I'm at Edwards house. The heavy weight resting around my middle tightens and I have to fight back a giggle, the heat forgotten. I turn slowly under his arm so that I'm facing him and settle back onto my pillow.

He really is beautiful. And so relaxed in this moment, I can't help but stare. It's rare that he's not worrying about anything…thinking about anything.

"You know, it's rude to gawk."

"AH!" I screech in surprise. He's startled the shit out of me. How long has he been awake? And how the fuck does he know I've been staring at him?

"I was not gawking" I huff in annoyance

He opens one eye and grins. "Uh huh" he's so sure of himself… "Morning baby"

"Morning" I mutter, still peeved that I can never win. "Will you ever let me win?"

"Aww" he coos, closing his eyes and tugging me closer, his head nuzzling between my shoulder and neck "You wouldn't want to win by default would you?" I can feel every movement of his lips when he speaks. So soft…

And it's like we're in our own little bubble.

"I'd like to earn my keep" I whisper, gaining a sudden burst of confidence and rolling over so I was on top of him, my legs on either side of his abdomen.

"I've created a vixen." He chuckles, tugging on a lock of my hair until I was leaning down, lips just a centimeter from his.

"You make me feel like one" I whisper back

"We may never leave this bed" he whispers and feverishly presses his lips to mine.

"I feel like I'm monopolizing you" I grin when we pull back "I mean, aren't doctors supposed to be nonexistent?"

"You've caught me at a good time" he rolls his eyes up at me, but I can see the humor dancing in them "I'm passed the rotation stage, Bella. I'm chief of surgery, meaning I'm usually up to my ass in paperwork more than anything."

"So you don't have to go to work today?"

"Unfortunately, I have a surgery scheduled in about 4 hours." He murmurs, his hands resting on my thighs

"Breakfast then?" I ask, cocking my head to the side "I should go home too" I sigh afterwards "So much to read"

"Breakfast I can do, Ms. Swan." He grins, "Shower first?" he cocks an eyebrow at me.

It's the way he says it. So nonchalant. "You're insatiable, Dr. Cullen" Fuck, am I blushing?

"Mmm" he hums, pressing his warm lips against mine "Are you saying no? Because I could persuade you. Quite easily."

Cocky son of a bitch. Sexy cocky son of a bitch. "How" I challenge, half-heartedly. I wasn't planning on saying no, but he has me curious.

I can see the wheels turning in his head when suddenly his cell phone rings. With a grunt, he leans over and plucks it off the nightstand "Cullen"

"Sure, I'll give her a call right away. Next time refer her to the ER attending please, Mary." he says and hangs up. "Sorry love, I need to make a phone call."

"If this is your method of persuasion, I find it to be very anti-climactic" I grin cheekily

"Oh?" He raises a brow "And last night, was last night _anti-climactic?"_

I'm pretty sure I'm blushing all the way down to my toes. "Don't you have a phone call to make?" I snap as he dials and holds the phone to his ear.

"This is Dr. Cullen returning a page" he sighs into the phone while rolling his eyes at me "I understand it puts you at disadvantage, but I can't lower your dosage just because your ex is in town"

I bust out laughing before realizing my mistake and clamping a hand over my mouth. His lips twitch as he listens to the crazy explanation on the phone and he points to the door with one finger, silently telling me to leave the room.

No way!

I shake my head. There is no way I'm leaving. This is too amusing.

"Ms. Lennox, at the end of the day this is your body. However, I must warn you that your condition is only going to get worse if you don't come in for your scheduled rounds. Please take that into account." He pauses and I hear the lady practically screeching on the other end "I'm sorry there are no alternatives."

"_Why is the public healthcare systems so fucked!"_ I hear her shout through the line

"Ma'am, we're a private hospital." And with that he hangs up. Jesus. I don't think I understood how trying a doctor's job is until now. Why are people so clueless?

"Could you _please_ refrain from laughing hysterically when I have a patient on the line!" He grins with a shake of his head

"My god, Edward" I laugh in disbelief "Is that an everyday occurrence? Are people actually that daft?"

"You have no idea" he shakes his head "I need to jump in the shower" a sigh escapes his lips

"I should go too. I have a lot of work to do"

"You mean you don't want to join me?" he pouts, all while stepping towards me.

Holy crap. Edward Cullen's pout is almost better than his smirk. "Your mother must hate that pout" I mutter

His pout turns into a grin and he laughs, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss on my lips "She does."

Before he can pull back, I tangle my fingers through his hair and bring his lips back to mine, kissing him deeply. His tongue brushes mine and a groan escapes me. "Now _I'm_ insatiable" I pant, "I really should let you go and get ready"

His lips curl up "No complaints either way, Miss Swan."

Needless to say, I joined his ass in the shower. I seriously need to work on the resistance factor in this relationship.

* * *

><p>"Hello?" I practically garble into the phone without checking to see who it is.<p>

"Well hello sunshine"

I groan and discard my current tissue, adding it to the growing pile on my coffee table. "Hey" I mumble, "How was work?"

"You don't sound so good" Edward says, I can hear the concern in his tone now "You sick?"

I nod before realizing he can't see me "Yeah, It's just a cold. I'll be fine."

"Chicken or tomato?"

What the hell kind of question is that? "What?" I snap in irritation. I feel like complete shit.

"Chicken noodle soup, or tomato?" He states again "Forget it. I'll bring both. See you in an hour baby"

"Wait!" I exclaim, Jesus... does he even give me a chance?

"I'm coming over, Bella. Don't try and stop me."

"I don't like tomato" I feel a smile creep up onto my lips.

"Noted" He's grinning too. I can hear it in his voice.

"Thanks." I whisper. Edward Cullen just made my day 100 times better. I should get sick more often.

Just short of an hour later, the doorbell rings. Mustering up as much energy as I can, I climb out from under my blankets and curse the cold air before making my way to the door. As soon as I open the door, Edward whistles through his teeth with a smile "You really are sick."

Excuse me? "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I snap, realizing I probably looked terrible. I didn't even bother cleaning or freshening up.

He steps inside and holds a bag out to me "Nothing baby. I was just teasing. I'm sorry." he leans down and kisses my cheek as I close the door behind him.

"Sorry" I mumble, "I just don't feel very well."

"You taken anything?" he asks while shrugging of his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack.

"No." I mutter as he runs his hands up and down my arms "I don't want to sleep all day."

"Well first of all" he raises an eyebrow "Put on some socks or you'll never get better. And second, you're sick. Sleeping all day is okay. Recommended even."

"Oh really?" I challenge, "Tell me the last time _you_ slept for more than 8 hours, Edward."

"I don't get sick" he waives off with a small smile and pulls me towards him by my shoulders.

I sigh and close my eyes when his lips touch my forehead "Mmm you have a bit of a fever." He's so warm. I lean against him and rest my head on his shoulder as his arms come around me. "Come, lie down while I get some medicine for you."

I nod and mumble a 'kay' before going back to the couch and occupying my previous position. I don't realize how tired I am until my head hits the pillow. As much as I try to fight it, my eyes drift shut as I listen to Edward rustle around my kitchen.

"Hey" A soft whisper wakes me up. I blink my eyes open and realize I fell asleep. Edward is kneeling in front of me with a mug of hot liquid "I know you're tired love, but I need you to drink this"

I nod and slowly sit up to take the mug from his hands. He sits next to me and rests an arm around my shoulders "I know it tastes like shit." he chuckles at my sour face. Jesus this literally tasted like shit. I don't know if I can down this without throwing up.

"What is this?" I scowl, turning my head up at him.

"Something that will probably make you feel a little bit worse before better"

I purse my lips and take large gulps until I'm finally finished with the vile tasting liquid. "So gross" I mutter and lean over to put the mug on the table. As disgusting as it was, I feel its effects. My eyelids are growing heavy, I feel al little loopy. I have no idea if it's from the medicine or from the fever. I lay down again, this time with my head in Edwards lap and smile as he drapes my body with a blanket "Love you" I murmur with a sigh

"You too sweetheart" I hear him say softly "Sleep now"

Mmm and I fall asleep to the feeling of his fingers gently running through my hair.

* * *

><p>It's hot. Burning actually. I'm sweating like a pig and the blankets I keep kicking off are magically reappearing. "No baby, you need the covers." A soft voice whispers in my ear.<p>

Edward.

Groaning in discomfort, I open my eyes and glare weakly up at him "It's hot." I whimper

"Come, sit up. I brought you some cold water" he says while helping me up into a sitting position. He holds out a large glass full of ice water with a green straw and I have to laugh as I take it from him.

"Where did you find straws?"

He grins and shrugs "They were in _your_ kitchen Ms. Swan. Don't look at me."

"Feels so good" I sigh in relief when the cool water slides down my throat

"Feeling any better?" he asks, holding the back of his hand to my forehead

"Worse" I pout

"You still have a pretty high fever. Sit tight, I'll make you some more tea."

"No." I glare "Edward it's like 6! I've slept all day!"

"Do you want me to get a thermometer, Bella?" He glares right back. His is much more convincing. "Because from the feel of it, your temperature is at least 102. If it doesn't go down by tonight, I'll have to write you a script for some antibiotics. Can we not fight about this?"

"I won't be able to sleep at night" I argue weakly, already knowing he had won.

"You will." he states before getting up and walking into the kitchen.

Ugh. I hate doctors. Might as well be entertained. Flipping on the TV, I make myself comfortable and kick the blanket off. I realize it's completely stupid and childish, but I'm still a little pissed about how he was actually right. I hate being wrong.

Edward comes back in a few minutes later with a mug of steaming tea in his hands and stares at the blanket on the floor before averting his eyes to mine again. He raises a single eyebrow but can't keep the amused smile from appearing on his lips "You're insane, you know that?" he ends up laughing

"I'm fully aware of my mental state, Doctor. Thank you" I smile back at him as he sits down next to me.

"Toddlers and Tiaras? Really?" he shakes his head

"Hey, if I have to drink this vile liquid and sleep in a sweat box, you don't get a say in what shows we watch."

Intelligent man that he is, he stays quiet and lets me drink the tea in peace. Once finished, I'm starting to get sleepy again. The medicine, it's definitely the meds that are making me so loopy. My head is foggy and in this moment, I'm so happy that Edward is here with me. I really do hate being sick, especially when I'm alone. I turn my head to look at him and my eyebrows shoot up in surprise at how enthralled he is by this show.

"I can see you staring, you know" he quips, never taking his eyes off the TV.

Sidling closer to him, I unashamedly climb sideways into his lap and loop the arm closest to him around his neck. "Thanks for being here. I hate being sick" I murmur tiredly and rest my head on his shoulder "You won't get sick because of me, will you?" I yawn in question

His chest shakes with soft laughter "I'll be fine, Bella. The fevers getting to you, huh? Get some rest. I'll wake you in a few hours to eat."

"Thanks" I whisper just as he's draping me with a blanket and fall into a restless sleep.

"Call me if you need anything?" he asks for the hundredth time. I'm feeling a little better and Edward says my fever is close to broken.

"Yes, Edward" I sigh and roll my eyes "It's just the flu. I'll live."

"Clearly it hasn't passed yet because people who have the flu generally feel like death" he retorts while stuffing his wallet into his back pocket

"I do feel like death. I'm still in bed aren't I?"

"I believe that has something to do with my presence baby. In fact after I leave, I'm guessing you're going to be going against my orders" He grins, leaning down over me with both his arms on either side of my torso.

"You know me well" I shrug with a small smile. Why deny it.

"Just be careful, okay?" he shakes his head and kisses my forehead "I'll be back tonight. Take it easy."

"Bella"

"Bella"

Hmm? I blink my eyes open and smile dreamily at the sight before me. Edward is dressed in light blue scrubs, kneeling by my bed. "You look good" I whisper as my eyes start to droop again. I'm so tired. All I want to do is sleep.

"No sweetheart. Come on, let's get you up." He says in soft concern "I promise you can sleep in a bit. After I get some medicine in you. Your fevers back"

I shake my head as tears gather in my eyes. I feel miserable. I feel like death rolled over twice and I have no idea what to do to make it better. "Edward" I choke out a whisper

"Hush" he murmurs and his thumbs come under my eyes to wipe the stray tears "You're okay. I'm here now."

"I feel terrible" I whisper and let him pick me up into his arms

"Yeah your fevers worse. I'm going to write you a script for some antibiotics okay? Can you have Rose pick them up for us? I can't go in and fill my own prescription." he asks all while carrying me into the kitchen.

"Yeah I'll text her."

He sets me down on the cool counter and reached into his pocket to hand me two pills "Take these. It'll help with the fever"

"Couch or bedroom" he asks after I finish downing the meds.

"Couch" I whisper tiredly and sigh as he gathers me into his arms again.

"Need to make his phone call. I'll be right back."

"I really hate being sick" I groan as another wave of nausea consumes me

"Most people do" Edward chuckles softly next to me.

"Don't make fun of me. Rose already did that" I snap tiredly, remembering Rose's tirade about how horrid I looked.

"I'm not making fun of you, baby" He murmurs and tugs me closer to him so that he's spooning me from behind "Get some rest, okay?"

"The meds haven't kicked in yet. I'm not tired."

"Yes you are" I feel him smile against my shoulder "I can hear it in your voice."

"Maybe a little" I whisper as my eyes start to droop. He's so warm behind me, so comfortable. "Stay?" I yawn in question

The last thing I feel are his lips press against my cheek.

* * *

><p>The antibiotics Edward ordered for me worked like a charm. Which is why Edward and I are having this argument right now.<p>

"I have to meet my editor, Edward!" I exclaim in frustration. We're standing in my living room, behind the couch as he blocks the doorway.

"You're sick" he glares

Oh no Cullen. Not this time. I really do need to see her today and his scare tactics aren't going to work. I think. "I'm feeling much better. Thanks to you. Did you think I could stay here forever?"

"It's only been 2 days. You haven't even finished half your course yet."

I meet him with silence, raising an eyebrow at his ridiculous comment. He's shitting me, right?

He can stare with the best of them. Meeting my glare head on and not relenting. Finally, I sigh "You're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" he regards me coolly, but I can't take him seriously. He's clad only in flannel pajama bottoms; his hair is a mess from just waking up-

I crack a grin at him, unable to help myself and nod my head "We wouldn't be having this conversation if I had managed to get out before you woke up." I state, still wearing a smile.

"Why the hell are you smiling?" He snaps

"You look good" I murmur, pointing out his state of dress

A slow smirk takes over his lips and he shakes his head "That won't work on me Ms. Swan." he says softly

"I don't know what you mean"

"Go to your meeting if you must. I'm going back to bed." He states and turns on his heels, walking into my bedroom.

I sigh and groan into my hands. This is not how I envisioned this morning to go. I don't want him to be upset with me...but I also have to meet with Bree. I understand he's only looking out for my well-being, but I can't skip out on work. AGAIN.

Grabbing my purse, I shake my head and walk out the door. He can't be angry with me for going to work.

The meeting with Bree was short and to the point. She knew I was sick and wanted to get me out of there as soon as possible. On the way back from her office, I start to feel drowsy. Tired. So exhausted all of a sudden. Dammit. It must be the combination of the antibiotics and the Theraflu I took this morning. Daytime my ass.

Years of living under a cop told me that I needed to pull over. My vision was blurry at best and I could barely think straight. Edward is going to kill me. I pull over into a Best buy parking lot and groan against my seat.

I pull my phone out and call Rose...the one time I need her to answer and she doesn't.

I take a deep breath and go to Edward in my contacts. Fuck it. I quickly push it before losing my nerve and he answers on the 3rd ring.

"_Hello?"_

Does he still sound angry? "Edward?" I murmur nervously

"_What's wrong, Bella. Are you okay?" He asks in concern_

His concern warms my heart. Even when he's pissed... "I'm fine- well no I'm not. I was driving home and all of a sudden I got exhausted. I can't keep my eyes open. I think it's the meds"

"_Where are you_" _His voice tightens_

"I'm sorry" I whisper, "Please don't be angry with me"

"_Bella, where. Are. You." He states again_

"Parked in the Best buy parking lot. On 8th" I say softly, pushing back my tears.

"_Stay put. I'll be there in 10." He says and hangs up_

I lean my head back heavily on the headrest and sigh. I'm in so much shit. I close my eyes and groan in relief. That feels so good.

A soft knock on my window startles me. Did I fall asleep? I blink my eyes open and realize Edward is standing outside patiently. I open my door and he holds out his hand "Keys" is all he says

I take my keys out of the ignition and set them in his hand. He throws them in his pocket and holds out his hand for me. I take it and let him pull me up, swaying as my legs hit the pavement "Gently" he murmurs despite his bad mood and steadies me. After shutting my door and locking my car, he leads me to his and helps me in the passenger seat.

"Edward." I whisper as he gets in behind the wheel "I'm sorry"

He sighs and takes my hand in his "While I'm fucking pissed you disregarded my concern. I'm glad you called me instead of trying to drive."

"Sorry" I say again, "Really. I am."

He squeezes my hand "It's okay. Lets get you home and in bed okay?"

"You're still mad."

"I'm not angry with you, Bella" he states seriously "A little peeved, maybe" and he smiles at me, making me melt inside "More importantly, you need to get better. Lets focus on that."

"It's just-"

"If you're about to say _It's just the flu_, I suggest you stop" He snaps mildly "Because then I will be angry. To most people, yeah...it's _just_ the flu. However since you have to be the most stubborn woman alive and can't figure out how to sit still for five minutes, it's much more."

My mouth drops open at his tirade and I glare weakly at him. "That was...incredibly rude!"

"Really" he raises an eyebrow and pulls into my parking garage "So tell me, what part of that wasn't true?"

I flush in annoyance making him grin. "I thought so."


	10. Chapter 10

"Did you just…sneeze?" I grin in amusement when the glares at me from across the room.

"I don't get sick" he mutters while blowing his nose "You gave it to me."

"That's the definition of getting sick, Edward." I roll my eyes and make my way over to the medicine cabinet in our kitchen. I pull out a box of Theraflu and set the kettle on the stove to boil water. Looking back at him, he's now sprawled out on the couch I once occupied "do you have a fever?" I murmur in slight concern and walk over to him. I've never seen him so lethargic before. I press my hand against his warm forehead and sigh, he does have a fever.

One eye opens and he smiles up at me "Are you playing doctor, Miss Swan?" he murmurs in amusement

"Someone has to" Just as I finish my thought, the kettle begins to whistle. I make the Theraflu and hand it to him before taking a seat on the couch again "Movie?" I ask

"Tastes like shit" I hear him mutter under his breath and gulps it down as fast as he can. He sets the empty mug on the coffee table and lies down with his head in my lap.

Hmm…Cullen wants to be taken care of for a change?

He nuzzles his head against my thighs and wraps both his arms around my middle before sighing. "Are you okay?" I ask, running my fingers through his hair

"Just tired, baby" he whispers with a yawn

"Sleep" I whisper, continuing to massage his scalp with one hand and grabbing my book with the other.

"Mhmm" he hums softly before his breathing evens out.

I have to fight back a laugh just in case I wake him up. Who knew? Edward Cullen is a baby when he's sick. He look so young and innocent…so _cute_.

* * *

><p>I snap out of my trance when I feel him shift against me. I have no idea how long he's been sleeping…how long I've been reading. But I tend to lose myself in books so I'm not surprised when I see it's already 8pm. 5 hours.<p>

I mark my place and set the paperback down just as he lets out a low moan. "Feeling better?" I ask, groaning quietly and curling my legs under me when he sat up. Being in one position for that long is extremely painful.

He runs a hand over his face and nods with a grimace "My head is killing me." He grumbles

"Why don't you lie back down. I'll get you some more medicine." I mumble, kissing his cheek

He nods and occupies my spot once I've stood up. I make him another round of Theraflu and come back to the couch "Edward?"

He hums tiredly and sits up, taking the mug from my hands "You're such a baby" I tease softly, stroking some hair out of his eyes. "Okay" I grin when he glares at me "kidding"

"You want to take a bath? You'll probably feel better" I try, wanting to take care of him.

"Yeah baby" he smiles tiredly "That sounds great. Only if you join me though" just as I stand up and lean over him

"I suppose I can manage that" I grin and kiss his forehead "I'll start on the tub."

* * *

><p>"Shit" he says while I'm just turning off the water "Can you do me a favor?"<p>

I nod, motioning for him to continue and lean back against the side of the tub as he lays down in it.

"I need a few things from the office. I don't think I'll be going in tomorrow."

"I'll pick them up for you" I say with a smile. I really don't mind…

"Mmm" he hums, tugging me closer to him "Thank you. What time is it?" he asks as I rest my head against his warm chest

"Just past 8" my thumb unconsciously caresses his abdomen under the warm water.

"Jesus. I slept that long?" He mutters in annoyance "I have so much work to do!"

I roll my eyes. Seriously, Edward? "You're sick." I state "You can't just take a couple days off?"

"Someone is angry" he raises an eyebrow

"I change my mind. I'm not picking up your paperwork for you."

"Bella!" He exclaims "You can't be serious"

I sigh and rest my head back down "No" I muttered in defeat. I can't be that mean to him. "I'm not serious. But please take it easy, Edward. You often tell me the same thing."

"I will, love" he murmurs "Promise"

* * *

><p>"How do I know you'll come back" Why is he scowling?<p>

"Will you just listen to me for once in your life? Despite you having the upper hand on _everything_ else, I know sick. It happens often. And you need to rest. I'll be back. Where the fuck am I going to run to with your patient charts? It's not like they have high market value these days."

His scowl has turned into a grin, and his eyes shine as they stare up at me "WHAT!" I groan in annoyance. "You are the worst sick person ever, Edward. I swear."

"You're cute when you're angry" He whispers, tugging on my arm. I fall into his lap and glare.

"Yes, I've gotten that one before" I'm not letting you off that easy, Cullen

"From who!" he exclaims, mock glaring at me like he's actually offended.

"You, Edward" I sigh and roll my eyes "May I go collect your things now?"

His lips are on mine within seconds, moving softly and gently. He's apologizing for being such an ass. This I can do. Sighing against his lips, I cup his jaw with one hand and smile. "Okay okay!" I laugh against his lips when they begin nipping at mine "You're forgiven!"

"Good!" he beams "Now off you go. Come back soon, baby. You want to take Logan?"

"No" I shake my head at his concern. I can drive the 10 minutes to the hospital. "I think I'll make it"

"Bye" he smiles at me and closes his eyes once again.

"Feel better" I mumble against his forehead before placing a gentle kiss there.

* * *

><p>When I get back, Edwards fast asleep on the couch. The blanket bunched into a thin line at his feet. His shirt is off as well. I shake my head and set his charts on the coffee table before rearranging the throw over him, ignoring his sleepy grunt of annoyance.<p>

Hmm…what can I do while he's sleeping? And at his house too? I suppose I can take a nap, It's only been a few days since I got over my own flu. I could use the sleep. I move to make my way upstairs and find something to change into and pass the game room. The largest, most beautiful glass pool table sits in the middle of the dark room.

Yeah…sleep can wait.

* * *

><p>"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes" Edwards hoarse voice startles me.<p>

I lean up from where I'm bent over the table and smile at him. He's shirtless, leaning against the doorframe of the room sleepily smirking at me. "Shouldn't you be resting? And keeping warm?" I raise an eyebrow and set the cue down

"I see you've found my game room. Please, continue" he motions to the table

"I've never seen such a beautiful table before. I had to play. I hope you don't mind."

"You're welcome to anything in my home, Bella." He murmurs just as I sidle up to him "Thanks for picking my charts up" He smiles and kisses my cheek.

"Consider it payment for the several games I just played" I grin "Are you feeling any better?"

"I've had better days. I'm going to get some work in before it hits again. I'll be in my study if you need me, okay?"

"Put on a shirt first" I state and saunter back over to my game

"Yes Ma'am!" he salutes with a small grin

* * *

><p>"I thought I distinctly asked you to put a shirt on" I admonish when I walk into his study and see his state of undress. But damn he looks good. Shirtless, clad only in pajama pants in his CEO megalomaniac office. Hair still mussed from sleep.<p>

"I believe it was a demand, Ms. Swan." He glances up from his papers and smirks at me

"You know, for as many demands you make, you don't seem to follow mine very well"

"I never promised to obey" He flashes a set of perfectly white teeth at me

"Neither did I" I set one hand on my hip

"No. Not yet." His voice drops to a low baritone "But the difference is, you want to. Don't you?" I can see his lips twitching as his eyes dance with amusement. The bastard.

Right on cue, I feel myself flush "I brought you some medicine." I grumble and wiggle the travel mug with a lid filled with tea.

"Thanks love" he's still amused but doesn't mention my blush. "I'm just about done here anyways. You tired yet?"

I step into his office and set the mug down on the mahogany desk. "A little" I admit, glad I didn't take that nap earlier. "Wanna watch a movie with me?"

"I don't know how good my company will be, but sure. I'll be down in a few minutes."

I move to leave and realize I never even asked if I was staying. I just assumed… "I'm sorry, I didn't even- I just assumed I was staying here. Is that alright?"

"I'd be quite upset if you didn't stay, sweetheart. After all, I took care of you…" He's goading me. The ass.

I glare at him on my way out and shake my head. He's completely incorrigible. Even when he's sick. Popcorn. That's what I need. Mr. whips and chains has to have some, right?

* * *

><p>"Hmmmmm?" I hum in question when I feel myself being lifted. What the- "Edward!" I exclaim sleepily, blinking my eyes open. They were met by his bare chest. Ah shit…<p>

"It's late. Lets go to bed." He mumbles against my hair

"You shouldn't be carrying me. You're sick" I whisper tiredly

"Too late." His chest rumbles with a soft chuckle as he sets me down on his ridiculously large bed. Edward has the best mattress, I just want to be buried in it. "Edward! Your libido doesn't even slow down when you're _ill_?" I groan when he pulls the jeans down my legs.

"Flattered" He states dryly and moves to my shirt "I figured sleeping in jeans would be uncomfortable. You can put them back on if you'd like."

"Ah." I grunt in realization. Jesus I need to learn to think before I speak. He's just being nice. "Sorry."

"Go to sleep, Bella. I'll be there in a sec."

"You sound so much better already. How did it take me days to get better" I grumble in annoyance. He's already looking better. Strong enough to carry me upstairs. The world sucks.

I hear him laugh on his way to the bathroom "My lifestyle is a tad healthier than yours, sweetheart" He calls out

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I eat healthy when I can. And cook most of my own meals! Okay so maybe eating only once a day and guzzling coffee for the rest isn't that nutricious. Whatever.

* * *

><p>Thank god neither of us is sick anymore. I'm so sick of smelling that vile Theraflu. Smells almost as bad as it tastes. I shake my head and smile at Heidi who's looking at me expectantly. Right. Lunch with Heidi and Kat. Focus, Bella.<p>

"So Bella" Heidi grins while popping a piece of cantaloupe into her mouth "How are things with Edward?"

Kat raises her eyes from her salad and shakes her head with a grin "Subtle, Heidi. Subtle."

I on the other hand am blushing. I always found girl talk hard. "Were good" I say vaguely and push around my own salad

"Oh don't be so nervous" Heidi rolls her eyes "Have you gone back into the playroom yet?"

I shake my head, mouth suddenly dry and avoid their eyes. I don't want to talk about this..or maybe I do. I don't know.

"And why not?" She asks, not relenting

"I don't- I don't know. I feel so new...so inexperienced and the incident with Marcus..." I trail off "I just feel stupid. That's all."

Silence. I didn't look up at either of them but no one spoke for the next several minutes. "And Edward hasn't taken you into the playroom at all since?" Kat asks curiously

"No. He wants me to come to him when I'm ready."

"Bella" Heidi drops her fork and turns her full attention to me "I know it's hard. It's terrifying but can I tell you that you got lucky with Edward? Really lucky. Most of us went through hell and back with all the mistakes we made...all the inexperienced Doms out there. We've known Edward for a long while now and I promise he is the absolute best you could possibly learn from. He's a great teacher. Open up for him and I swear it will heal you. He will heal you." She pleads, and I have no doubt every word she just breathed was sincere.

"He's been great, Heidi" I whisper softly "I know I need to- I just...I don't know how to do it."

"Be open with him. Just be honest" Kat murmurs "Edward is experienced. He masters everything he puts his mind to. And he's been in this lifestyle for years. He'll understand."

"He knows I'm ready" I mutter in mild annoyance

Kat laughs "I'm sure he does honey" she grins at me "But he needs you to tell him when you're ready. You need to be able to do that...go to him for help."

"How is he...you know...as a-" I cut myself off, not even able to say the word

Heidi raised a brow at me and rolled her eyes "Jesus sweetie, you can't even say _Dom_?" She exclaimed "Edward is a difficult Dom...he's experienced and he expects 100% from his subs. That being said, he's also a really good teacher like I said before. Don't be nervous, Bella. He loves you. Although, he is on the talkative side" She grinned "So you'll have to get over your little trepidation to talking about sex...or anything related to it."

That makes sense. But it didn't make it any easier.

* * *

><p>Ugh. How much more frustrating can my life get? Before-before joining the club...before meeting Edward...before having a small glimpse of everything I've ever longed for, it was easy to go on. To not think about how much I needed the control. How much I needed to be controlled. But now...jesus everything in my body screamed for that feeling again. I wanted-no I <em>needed<em> at least a scene. Jesus the thought of spending an entire weekend with Edward as my dom almost made my come right here...on my fucking couch.

"AH!" I screeched in shock when my cell began ringing loudly. Jesus...how lost in thought was I? But when I look down at the caller ID, an involuntary smile graces my lips. Edward.

"Hi Edward" I grin happily

"_Hi Bella" He mocks in amusement "Am I interrupting anything?" _

My brows furrow in confusion as I shake my head before realizing he can't see me "What? No, I'm just lounging on the couch"

"_Then do you mind opening the door that I've been ringing for the past 5 minutes?" _

Oh shit! I scrambl off the couch, throwing the blanket on the floor and cringe at the time. 9:15. Edward is always on time and he was supposed to be here at 9...which means he was ringing the doorbell for a lot longer than 5 minutes. "I'm so sorry" I whisper guiltily and wrap my arms around him. Mmm safe, strong arms come around me and anchor me to him.

A soft chuckle shakes his chest "It's alright. I ended up having to take a phone call anyways." he says while kicking the door shut with his leg. "So what has you so distracted, hmm?" He stares down at me intently, and my eyes involuntarily close as the soft pad of his thumb brushes my lip. How can one touch from this man turn me into putty?

"Isabella" Oh god. He said my full name. I swear to god I heard him chuckle as my knees buckled, his arms catching me before I was a heap on the floor. "Tell me" Came his soft command.

"I need you" And I would have been embarrassed about my breathless whimper if I wasn't so desperate

"You have me baby, I'm right here"

"Please?" I whisper pleadingly and rest my forehead against his chest "_Please_?" I plead again and bunch the fabric of his suit jacket into my fists

"Ahhhh" He drawls out as realization dawns on him "I think you can ask nicer than that" He's in full dom mode now. His voice is sharper somehow, more controlled. Fuck I can feel myself getting wet already.

Groaning in frustration, I lift my head from his chest and glare up at him. Jesus fucking Christ. His answer was a lifted eyebrow in my direction...which shut me up right away. "Sorry" I mumble, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks

"I told you we'd talk about going back into the playroom. And I believe I specifically made you promise to tell me when you were ready. Is this how you wish to tell me, Isabella?" Damn. I've made him angry. That's not what I wanted at all.

"No" I whisper in defeat "I'm sorry...we-I'll...later" I finally stumble out

As I stare down at his shoes, I felt his eyes boring into my head. For how long? I have no idea. But however long later, I felt a single finger tuck under my chin before lifting my eyes to his again. They were dark, black almost and hard. Controlled. Posessive. "Strip."

My head snapped up to his on my own accord and I had to fight to hold back a gasp. "Now Isabella" He stated and crossed his arms over his chest.

Oh fuck Oh fuck Oh fuck. what had I just done? Swallowing a huge lump in my throat I reached down and pulled the hem of my t-shirt over my head before I lost the nerve. My jeans came off in the same fashion and I slipped out of my panties and bra as well, adding them to the growing pile of clothes. "Kneel."

Closing my eyes, I immediately dropped to the floor on my knees and felt the tension from my shoulders dissipate. Is this what it's always like? I never wanted to let this go. I felt so loved. So safe...so free. Like nothing could touch me in this moment. "Now, tell me Isabella, what do you need?"

I don't know. I have no idea. All I know is that I need you. "I don't know" I whisper breathlessly

He was circling around her. She could feel the faint rush of air and his footsteps as he stepped in circles around her "I don't know..." he trailed off and she could almost see the expectant look on his face.

"Sir." I whispered, a strong blush coming to my cheeks again. No. My entire body. "I don't know, Sir." Fuck I'm so wet already. I struggled to stay still as a drop of my current arousal ran down my thigh.

"Mmm" he hummed "Like that, is it?" A silky material came around my eyes and I felt him fasten it behind my head. _His tie?_ "I think I know what you need, baby"

Yes. Yes please.

"Do you remember the safewords I gave you?" Why did he sound so far away

"Yes sir" I said softly, my entire body buzzing with anticipation. Shit. I'm kneeling buck ass naked in my living room.

"I want to hear them"

"Red, yellow, and Green" I recited just like he had made me do the first time we scened. The _only_ time we scened. Before Marcus-I sat frozen with fear. I-I-woke up blindfolded with Marcus, hadn't I?

"_I see you haven't learned yet pet. I suppose I'll just have to show you"_

"Isabella" Edwards soft voice called her back "Take my hand with your left. Now."

And like I was in a trance or something, I placed my left hand, palm down into his. "Good girl. Deep breaths. Squeeze my hand each time you let it out."

I sucked in a large gulp of air and gently squeezed his warm hand as I let it out between pursed lips. And just like that, the haze lifted...slightly. I was back with Edward. Back in my own apartment. "What color are we, Isabella?"

"Green, sir" I whispered with a small smile to let him know I was okay.

"One more breath, love" he instructed and waited until I did as he asked. I really was okay now...and how did he even know I was having a panic attack? I don't think I made any noise..

He's perceptive.

"Alright." He set my hand down on my thigh again, and with one brush of his hand on my cheek he was off again.

He didn't stop. He didn't let it get out of control. I almost laughed out loud at the thought.

"I believe, my little sub, that you're in clear violation of one of my most important rules. Did we not discuss and agree upon talking about going back into the playroom when you deemed fit?"

Oh shit. Did he expect me to answer that?

"I do expect an answer, Isabella" he said answering her unspoken question

"Yes, we did."

"And is my most important rule not_ communication_?"

"It is, sir"

"Can we agree then, that your method of communication wasn't the best choice?" Oh jesus. He was back, closer this time. Standing, behind me?

"Yes sir. I'm sorry" Oh no. I've disappointed him. My heart skipped a beat and I felt as if all the air had been sucked from my lungs.

A rush of warm air ran along my back and I felt him kneel behind me "Don't sound so sad, sweetheart" He murmured, a smile evident in his voice "Are you alright?"

Warmth spread through my heart and I had to fight back tears. "Green, Sir"

Without another word, A gasp rose in my throat when a sharp but pleasurable pain emitted from my nipples. His thumb and forefinger had trapped both of my nipples and he gently rolled his fingers, making me cry out. My legs came closed on instinct.

"Did I give you permission to move?" Edward whispered in my ear, making the threat more prominent, and I immediately spread my knees, wider this time.

"Sorry, sir" I panted, my poor nipples still in his clutches

"Mmm look at that, already so wet for me"

"Please" I moaned when his fingers tugged harder

"Oh baby" His soft lips pressed against the side of my neck "It's never that easy with me. It's going to be such a pleasure training you."

"Oh fuck" I groan and feel my internal muscles contract at his words

"Already" he chuckled in amusement "Do you have permission to come, Isabella?"

"No sir" I almost whined and had to fight not to lean back against his chest when his teeth gently grazed the curve of my shoulder

His right hand released my nipple and gently trailed down, between my breasts, his palm gently stroked my stomach, and then lower... "Wider" He tapped on my left thigh and waited until I shifted, spreading wider for him. Fuck I would do anything for this man.

"Oooohhhh" I moaned when a single finger drew gentle circles around my clit, careful to never touch the sensitive nub. His left hand still tugged and twisted at my already hypersensitive nipple and I struggled to hold back my release.

"Shhhh" His lips tugged on my earlobe "Just feel" his fingers never stopping their torement. "Uh-uh" He tsk'd in amusement when my hips strained to meet his fingers more firmly "Still Isabella. I want you still."

"Oh god" I whimpered

"Understood?" his finger made its first swipe directly over my clit and I froze with sheer bliss.

"Yes sir" I choked.

He laughed softly to himself "I'm quite enjoying this torment. Aren't you, baby?" his voice came out like butter against her ear "One thing you'll learn about me? I _love_ to tease"

"Oh fuck sir" I panted from his words alone. I swear he could feel the rush of wetness that just leaked out of me. How embarrassing.

"Ah" he chuckled "And one thing I just learned about you is that you _love_ dirty talk" His thighs rested on either side of mine now and he pulled me back to lean against him, my back to his chest. I groaned and leaned my head back into the hollow of his shoulder. His left hand finally left my nipple and joined his right. Two fingers plunged into me and I bucked up into his hands. His other hand rubbing slow circles over my now hardened clit. It was sensory overload.

"OH shit" I gasped when he pinched my clit between his fingers "Please sir, oh fuck please?"

"Please what, Isabella" he released my swollen nub and soothed gentle circles over it again, never stopping his thrusting fingers.

"May I please cum, sir?" I panted, feeling lightheaded. how much longer is he going to torture me?

"Not yet" He said easily and eased up a little on his fingers "I want you to tell me immediatly when you feel like you absolutely can't hold back. You do not have permission to orgasm, Isabella. If you have reached that point, I want to hear the word 9 come out of your mouth. If at any point, I ask for a number, you give me a number between 1 and 9, 1 being mildly aroused, and 9 being your absolute breaking point."

I groaned, fuck, he was giving me instructions? Now?

"Are we clear, Isabella?"

"Oh!" I gasped "Yes sir! We're fuck-clear"

"Good, now what number are we?"

"7" I panted out and cried out as he pinched my clit again. Shit I don't know if I can do this.

He curved his two fingers that were inside her and very gently began thrusting, hitting her g-spot each time he did.

"AHHHHHH" She screamed, her hips bucking wildly against his hands

"I think i found someones spot" he grinned in amusement and used his legs to hold her steady

"P-please sir. Please let me cum? Oh god please" She pleaded desperately

"Not yet, love"

And another minute of torture did her in. "9!" She cried out hysterically "Oh god 9!"

His fingers stilled immediately and ran a gentle hand over her chest "Breathe" he murmured

She panted uncontrollably against his shoulder "Please" she whispered desperately

"I think we need to take care of your transgressions first, don't you think?"

Is he serious? He can't be serious. His fingers left me and I groaned quietly at the loss. I felt his lips on my cheek and smiled dreamily. Sexually frustrated or not, there's no where else she'd rather be. "Open baby"

She opened her mouth and welcome the cool liquid that he poured down her throat. Fuck it was hot in here. "Rest for a second. When you're ready I want you to stand up, hands behind her back, feet spread shoulder width apart and wait for me."

I sighed in exhaustion, he was going to torture me more? Fuck I didn't even know if I could stand! I rested against him for a few more minutes, letting him stroke my hair and feed me water until I felt okay again. When had he taken his shirt off? Using him as support since I had no sense of vision, I stood up on shaky legs and let go when I found my balance. As I was lacing my hands around my back, I felt him stand as well.

He walked around me and placed a pillow in the center of the couch and turned his attention back to me. I waited patiently in position where he left me. I definitely didn't need him getting any more ideas to torture me.

* * *

><p>EPOV<p>

I glanced over, smiling to myself. She was going to be such a pleasure to train.

She was beautifully flushed from the activity earlier. And frustrated as well. I could see the tenseness in her body. Taking her by the waist, I effortlessly placed her over the arm of the couch. Her stomach rested against the curve, her head rested on the pillow I had set up and she stood on tip toes to stay on the ground.

Fucking perfect, I thought as I stepped back and admired the view. "What color are we, Isabella?" I asked, stroking the back of her shaking thighs. Don't be scared baby...never be scared with me.

"Green sir" She said clearly

"Good girl" I murmured, pleased. "What should we do about your lack of obedience?"

"Whatever you deem fit, sir" Jesus, how was she so perfect already?

"Oh really?" I rose an amused brow "I think my little sub needs to be spanked"

"I don't want to see you move. At all. If at any time you're uncomfortable or in unbearable pain, you are to safeword, immediately. Understood?"

"Yes sir" I whispered with a small smile. Always so concerned.

"Such a spankable ass" I murmured, standing in front of the couch and palming her right butt cheek. and then her left. The anticipation was almost worse than the blow. I knew that. I lifted my hand and heard her take in a sharp breath, muscles tensing as she expected the blow. I waited, at least 30 seconds until she relaxed again, unclenching her muscles, before landing the first one down onto her left cheek.

"Ah!" She gasped at the unexpected sting. Her breathing was still okay. She wasn't scared spitless, if anything she was turned on by it. Good.

_Perfect_

And then I began raining them down on her, blow after blow, albeit not to hard since she was new to this. I watched her reactions closely and stopped when I saw her legs strain with effort to stay upright. "Good girl" I said slightly out of breath and ran a single finger over her crack and all the way down to her very wet center. "Ah" I chuckled when I realized she was _definitely _enjoying herself. Her hard clit was pressed directly against the curve of the couch, so each time I spanked her, her clit rubbed agains the fabric.

"Sir" She sobbed softly in need.

"You're drenched sweetheart. What's your number?"

"9" She whispered "I'm trying-so hard"

"Shhhhhh" I hushed softly and stroked her trembling back, she was beautiful in her submission already. "You're doing beautifully my love"

Relief washed through her body and she groaned at her growing need. Fuck.

"Such a good girl" I murmured and pressed my lips to her burning ass "Are you ready for your reward now?"

"Yes sir" she panted softly "Please sir"

I gently gripped her waist and in one fluid movement had her lying on her back, the curve of her back against the high curve of the couch, her head against the pillow again. "Ah!" she squeaked

"Look at that poor little clit" I taunted and merely pressed my finger against it, making her mewl in pleasure "That sensitive, hmm?"

She cried when my finger swirled her wetness over it "Sir!"

"Hush now" I whispered "Better hold on Isabella. I intend on taking you for a ride"

I didn't give her time to think before thrusting forward. Into her wet heat. My hands on her hips, holding her steady as I rammed into her. The intrusion sent her over the edge. She came hard, releasing herself all over my cock, and I was pretty certain she was incoherent by now. And fuck if I wasn't seeing stars too. Fucking shit she was tight. I stilled inside her and let her ride out her release as wave after wave of intense pleasure rolled through her.

"Easy baby" I murmured, running a soothing hand over her trembling stomach "Come back to me."

She eventually stopped panting and relaxed against the soft couch "What color are we, Isabella?"

"Green, sir" She whispered "Thank you"

I chuckled quietly and pulled out, ignoring her whimper as I stroked her hypersensitive body "You're quite welcome love. You're beautiful when you come."

"Oh shit" She panted desperately and both her hands locked around my wrists, trying to find something to hold onto. My hands still gripped her hips and I grinned in amusement. So responsive.

"I-I-I" She whimpered, her head moving back and forth as she tried to regain control over her own body. But to no avail. I pounded into her, stroke after stroke, feeling her tight muscles clench every time I withdrew. Hell if I was going to last much longer

"I was forgiving earlier, Isabella" I stated as her fingers dug into my wrists "Next time you release without permission, you'll receive the proper punishment."

"Jesus" She cried, her muscles clenching in anticipation to his comment

"Ah, somebody likes that idea" I chuckled in amusement

"Please sir" She whispered "Please, I can't-I don't know how to hold-please may I come for you?" She panted, obviously trying to hold back her release

"Because you asked so nicely" I murmured and thrust into her with a hard stroke, swiveling my hips as I did "Now."

And she did. She screamed, convulsing around me like a mad woman. Her hands released my wrists and flew above her head, bunching the couch cushion as wave after wave of pleasure overtook her.

And I was relentless, pounding into her even harder, drawing out her own pleasure before finding my own only moments later. I groaned at the force and spilled myself inside her. Shit. I haven't cum this hard in months.

I leaned against her for a few minutes, catching my own breath before pulling out. She was still shaking and convulsing lightly, aftershock of her orgasm. I quickly grabbed a throw from the back of the couch and sat down, lifting her into my lap and draping the blanket around her before pulling her back against my chest. "You're okay baby, I've got you" I murmured, rubbing her back gently. The aftermath of their scene would catch up to her and she would start to drop. Bella was an emotional person, that much he expected.

"Shhhh" I soothed when a tremor ran through her, and pulled her closer.

About 15 minutes later, she began to get her wits. Lifting her head from my shoulder she smiled at me, and I immediately recognized the far away look in her eyes. She was in subspace, I'd need to watch her closely.

"Hi sweetheart" I smiled warmly, brushing the damp hair from her eyes

"Hi" She whispered softly

"How are you feeling?"

"Good, sir" She mumbled and rested her head in the hollow of my shoulder again. Had there been such a sweet submissive?

"Tired" She yawned quietly a few minutes later making me laugh

I shifted and she immediately gripped my shoulder, lifting her head in confusion.

I smiled reassuringly at her in return "I'm not going anywhere."

She relaxed immediately and closed her eyes again "Thank you, Sir" She whispered

"Thank _you_" I murmured, kissing the top of her head "You were wonderful, Isabella. You did so well"

He felt her body go lax and her lips curved up against his neck into a content smile.

"Ah, there's a smile" I teased softly realizing she was slowly coming out. "You okay?"

"Mmm" She hummed in content "Yes sir"

"Scene over, Bella." I murmured and kissed her head.

"Mhmm" She hummed again, not at all interested.

"Wore you out, huh?"

"Mhmm"

"Ms. Swan, are you incoherent?" I asked in amusement

"Slightly" she whispered, a sated grin on her lips

"You do wonders for a mans ego."

"Mhmm"

"Alright baby" I murmured softly realizing how exhausted she really was "Rest now. I've got you."

"Kay" She whispered before her breathing evened out and she drifted off.

* * *

><p>About an hour later, she began to rouse. She could hear the faint sound of Edward talking and she yawned before opening her eyes, realizing she was still lying in Edwards arms. He was talking softly on his cell, eyes on her.<p>

"Sure, schedule him for wednesday. Thanks Heidi." he said "Anything else? Alright, have a good day then. Call me if there's any trouble."

He hung up the phone and tossed it to the side before smiling down at her "Are you with me again?"

She nodded sleepily and laughed "Sorry I fell asleep"

"It's alright, love." he murmured "How are you?"

"I'm great. Just tired."

"Yes" He frowned, tracing one of her frown lines with a single finger "You haven't been sleeping very well these days"

"I'm tired now" She whispered "Can I sleep again?"

Jesus this one was going to break his heart. He smiled tenderly and nodded, unwrapping his arms from around her stopping when her eyes widened in panic. She shook her head once before catching herself "Hey sweetheart" He crooned softly "What's wrong?"

"Here. Can I sleep here?" She asked softly "I don't want to be alone"

His heart constricted "I'm not going to leave you alone" He said softly and pushed himself into a laying down position with her in his arms "Come, I'll nap with you"

She sprawled out on top of him with his arms around her, one palm resting on her ass and the other strew across her back. The blanket draped over both of them as she nuzzled her head into his neck. "Edward?"

"Hmmph" he grunted, opening one eye

"You couldn't find another place for your right hand?" She smirked sleepily

He pinched it, making her jump and glare down at him "I don't like that look" he said in soft seriousness

Her eyes immediately softened and she backed down. Like he controlled her body with the push of a button. When she actually looked contrite, he had to smile "Just kidding, baby" He whispered with a grin

"That was rude." She pouted and laid her head on his shoulder again

"Go to sleep, Bella."

Pushing back a smile she closed her eyes and let sleep take her.

* * *

><p>AN: Reviews please :) Just trying to crank out as many chapters as I can while I'm free at a rare moment! Let me know what you think!


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